I broke my promise

So yesterday........... I broke my promise of not freaking out etc. Thank you for all the supportive comments. Guess I was a little taken back that my meds were already lowered significantly and my levels were still rising so much. After sitting down and taking a breath yesterday, I realized what I have known within the last year of dealing with my wonderful doctor.... I trust him 100%. I know that he is on top of things and I need to not open that door to worry wart or it will never be closed until the day our (baby) is born. Hell I know that my heart cant take that much anxiety (litterally). Tonight I have acupuncture again this week and lower my dose of Follistim to 75iu and then another u/s bloodwork tomorrow. I am kinda excited to see whats going on downunder :) Every time I sneeze it feels like my ovaries are going to explode  (and I love every minute of it)! My side effects from the Lupron are completely gone, finally! I am actually having less side effects with the follistim and menopur verses other cycles with just menopur. My bruises are looking freaking awesome and I want to take pictures to put in my baby book. btw i saw this the other day and thought it was so true!

Even though I am going through secondary infertility, I have never fought for anything harder in my life. Our little one will know just how much we wanted him/her and the lengths we went through to get pregnant. 

I know this is all over the place today but just stick with me. After all of the politics going on lately and especially with the Personhood Act here in Oklahoma and coming to the other states soon (so be prepared). It made me think alot about our decision we made with our left over embryos. Al and I are not having anymore children after this, mainly because of our age and I do have a teenager who will be driving in two years. I am going to share our decision we made with our left over embryos. We thought so hard about this and decided to donate them to other couples who desperately want children. I couldnt think of any better gift to a person. Suffering through infertility is so difficult, then add on top of that the added expense of having to do donor embryos. My ONLY regret about this is, I wish I could give them to a couple free and clear. I hate the fact that someone will have to ultimately pay for them. With that being said, I know that we made the right decision in the end. Now the people who want to call ivf immoral and unethical, please tell me how this is such a bad thing?

Oh yeah.... hopefully 5 days until retrieval!