Well its 7:32 am Oklahoma time and I am sitting here a nervous wreck. I feel like I want to puke! Everything I have worked so hard for is here, wow what a huge moment. I am not sure how I feel at all. I am so afraid to get attached to the little embryos in fear that they might not make it. I know, I know try to stay positive. I have said from day 1 that I would always be realistic about this situation and I plan on staying that way. I will do everything possible for them to have a wonderful, calming, comfortable place to stay for nine months. On the other hand I also have to prepare myself that for some reason they wont be able to stay. After transfer today I wont be using the word "PUPO" I just don't think that word fits into my situation. I guess in my mind the day I take my blood test and if it is loaded with hcg then I will be pregnant. Until then I have picked up two little hitchhikers and hoping to take them home with me :)
My dizziness and nausea seems to be better this morning. I originally thought I would go back to work on Thursday and that never happened. I do have a horrible pain down in my lady parts though. The best way to describe where its at is if you go straight south from belly button and its on the inside. I hasn't stopped hurting since my retrieval on Tuesday. I am a little scared how its going to feel today with speculum and cathedar filled with liquid gold. I guess even if it hurts I just need to deal with it, huh.
Sorry for my horrible mood within the last few days. I just don't feel like myself at all and I don't have any way to explain it. I will update when I have my transfer done.
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