I am sitting here at working doing something I havent done in almost three months, drinking a cup of hot tea with caffiene. I am still trying to come to terms with all of this. Still feeling guilty, angry, and foolish. Honestly when did having a child become such a freaking unreachable goal? I cant even begin to express what a loser I feel like right now. My husband is so supportive but I feel like I have let him down and dont know if I can ever make it right. I wonder if he will have resentment inside that he married someone who couldnt give him a child (the one thing he wanted)? If he did, I couldnt blame him. If he told me tomorrow he wanted a divorce, I wouldnt blame him. I never realized how bad this feels. Ok well I need to quit typing cause im just sitting here at work crying a river and I dont want to explain that to the office when they get in.
I really wish I could just stop taking the progesterone tonight and let things start getting back to what it was before. My husband seems to think there is still a chance. I wish I could be that naive.
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