Sunday, June 30, 2013

11DPO

Well yesterday was a big fluke. I took tests this morning and both VERY negative. Funny thing is, I am totally okay with this. I was asked this morning in my fb group a very good question that has been going through my mind for months.

I hate to play devils advocate but what would happen if you should get a positive and it be a chemical? Would you still be able to keep your same appointment with Dr. Kim?"

This has been the source of some stress in my life. I have considered going on bcp to ensure that no more chemical pregnancies will happen before our visit. As you all know after 6 losses, I can get pregnant, just can't stay pregnant. I keep asking myself what is more important, seeing Dr. Kim or trying to get pregnant for two more months before seeing her. It always slaps me  in the face that by stop trying " it just doesn't feel natural". Although it makes absolute sense because I want to see her so badly. Maybe in my head I keep thinking there will be some unexplained pregnancy and it will work. While the realistic side of me says that isn't going to happen. Of course I think well maybe I will try this coming cycle and take the August cycle off before seeing her. That seems to make sense to me.

At this point, seeing lines pop up on a test and disappear, doesn't effect me like it used to. And honestly going in for beta and seeing numbers that didn't double and waiting for them to go down, not that big a deal either. After actually getting pregnant and seeing a heartbeat only to lose it, that did bother me. For me that was the only true pregnancy I had through this ordeal because there was a little person in there showing me with his or her heart that they were alive. So in many ways that experience has hardened me even more to any progress less than that. I may have a moment of disappointment, but then I move on to the task at hand. It helps me cope and not dwell.

So my next big question is this.  I have been buying Menopur and Follistim to use in conjunction with my Femara. I was planning on starting the combination next cycle, but now I am almost thinking I should wait until my appointment with Dr. Kim. That stuff is super expensive and maybe she will have a protocol to put me on that will help with the chemical pregnancies. So I am thinking maybe Femara for this cycle? Time off for next cycle until I see her and then it's time for me to put the balls to the wall and get busy with new treatments?

Sound like a winning plan? 

Saturday, June 29, 2013

10DPO

I try my hardest to keep all of my blogger followers updated as much as I do with my infertility group. Sometimes I fall short on this side, but I feel like my group is a full time job. I have 30+ members to support and keep track of. It is very fulfilling job at the least.

As you know my Fertility Friend chart has been a day ahead on my ovulation. I knew it was wrong from day 1, but decided to go with the flow. A few days ago I knew it just wasn't right because I had serious ovulation pains the day after it marked me down for ovulation. Today I am truly 10DPO. I have pee sticks. Not sure what is going on and not very hopeful, but also not ready to give up. I know may of you tell me that 10DPO is early, but you have to understand that I have a 10 day luteal phase. So the first day of my missed period would be on 11DPO. These lines are super light and to most people would be negative. To us veterans, we can see lines. My first thought is another early chemical, but I made a promise to myself to try to be more positive when it comes to this part of the journey.

Here are two pictures: untweaked and tweaked. Oh and I might also add that my FRER came up negative this morning. Usually they are more sensitive then a FRER and that also worries me.








Al got our airline tickets booked for Chicago this morning. If we make the 4 hour drive to Dallas and fly out, we save several hundred dollars. So we are driving to Dallas and then flying to Chicago. We ended up getting round-trip tickets for both of us at the cost of $412.00 total! I love saving money!

On the good news front, one of our bloggers had her baby boy, but I don't want to make the announcement. Congrats my friend, he is beautiful!

Heading out to Hancock Fabrics and buying some more backing. Trying to knock out three quilts this weekend! I am a total quilting superhero and believe I need a cape, anyone sew capes? LOL.

Friday, June 28, 2013

Funny Infertility Friday

How could I not be happy today? It is the end of work week and time for relaxing. I found this funny sign and I am making progress on my project at work. Definitely three things to make me smile today.

Oh! Yesterday while I was sitting at my desk working on the two week spreadsheet, one of my bosses came in and gave me tickets for Tarzan at the Civic Center Music Hall. Not only did I graciously accept, I went to the bathroom and squealed like a little school girl seeing Just Bieber! After work Al and I went out for a nice dinner and then made our way over to the show. I was really surprised at how awesome our seats were. We were in the first row, center seats at orchestra level. The show was absolutely fantastic sitting that close. Plus the people dressed as monkeys came off of stage and ran in front of us doing flips etc. Probably the best musical I have ever seen there. Next month is the King & I. I loved the movie and would love to see the show. I did tell Al that I am buying us season tickets for 2014. Of course I can't afford seats like we had last night, but I don't mind sitting higher up.

On TTC news:

Today may be 9DPO or 10DPO. I am so hung up on this. My heart tells me it is 9DPO because of the pains I felt for ovulation a day after Fertility Friend said I ovulated. I hate to disagree with it, but I honestly think I am right. Either way, temps started dropping this morning from 98.4 yesterday to 98.1 today. I also tested this morning and a big ole negative test flipped me off and said " tough luck, try again next month" I smiled and said " I will and you are going in the garbage can". I will test for another day or so. I didn't have much hope with this cycle though. I think I have used clomid for a total of 10 cycles here and there and it never gave me bfp, only Femara did. I will be starting either Follistim/Femara or Menopur/Femara next cycle. I almost am tempted to wait on the Follistim until after I see Dr. Kim and she starts me on a protocol. Menopur is cheaper and easier and cheaper to ship. 

Hope everyone has a great weekend. My goal this weekend is to finish the (3) quilts I am currently working on. I had a great recommendation from a friend yesterday on getting help with people donating fabric etc. to help me with the cost of quilting. I will go into that on different post, but I think it sounds like a great idea.

Thursday, June 27, 2013

I am going there

Yesterday after the Supreme Court struck down the Defense of Marriage Act as unconstitutional, the firestorm started. For so many of us Americans this was a huge step in the right direction. For others it was a slap in the face because of their religious views. Here is where the problem truly is. 

I came home only to turn on the t.v in the "bible belt" of the United States to see our Governor on t.v stating that Oklahoma WILL NEVER accept gay marriages in this state and it is against God. At that moment I truly despised her more than I usually do.  It absolutely INFURIATES me that ANY religion feels their beliefs are the ONLY right one and everyone else is wrong. I don't care if you are Christian, Catholic, Mormon, Muslim etc. We are all FREE people and have the freedom to make our own choices on what is best for our own family and life. 

How does a gay marriage personal affect you? Yes you the person who is so hell bent against it because of your belief? How does it personally come into your home and change anything about the way you live, raise your children, spend time with your family, or what you believe?

Exactly it doesn't! 

Whether you are for homosexuals getting the same rights as a heterosexual couple or not, the fact remains to me looking at this completely neutral and without any religion making my choice, "IF YOU ARE A TAX PAYING AMERICAN, THAN YOU SHOULD HAVE HEALTH INSURANCE AND OTHER BENEFITS" This goes for Married couples, single people, gay people, transgender, black, Asian, white, Muslim etc. etc. .

I  try my hardest to be tolerate of others, but sometimes certain people make it so hard for me to do that!
I will also put this out there for anyone who has any doubts about my views, I don't believe in God or the Devil, or heaven, or hell. I believe in my whole heart that I will live my life doing good by my family and to others. I will work honestly, I will treat others with respect, and I will do my best to do great things with my life. If that makes me a sinner and your belief is that I am going to hell, that is okay with me. I totally respect your opinion. That is the great thing about being a AMERICAN, we have the choice!

A few weeks ago on our vacation we stayed with Al's aunt and uncle. They are Christian people and before dinner they wanted to join hands and pray. You may be wondering what I did. I took hands with the others and respected their  home and belief. I didn't pray, I didn't say amen, but I showed respect.

I would be nice and polite and apologize for anyone I have offended, but I am not going to. If you are offended then maybe you should try remembering that we all different and that is what makes the world go around.

Have a nice day!


9DPO & Quilt Information

Here is my chart for today:

Trigger is completely out of my system now. Hoping to see a line tomorrow!

Important quilt information:

It kills me to say this, but as of today my quilting is on hold for new expecting moms. I didn't take into account all the twins when doing fertility treatments and my list is pretty well maxed out right now. The one thing that I absolutely don't want to happen is someone that I have promised a quilt to not receive. So in order for that not to happen I have decided not to take on any new quilting for at least the next few months. As of right now, I have (3) sets of twins and (2) singleton quilts. I do apologize and hate that I have to do this :(.

Promise once I get caught up that I will GLADLY start making new quilts.

Thanks! 

Wednesday, June 26, 2013

8DPO

I know by tonight I will have tested my trigger completely out. As of last night there was a super squinter of a line left. Today is 8DPO and I stopped taking my progesterone yesterday morning. Although I should have been fully aware, I was totally dumbfounded yesterday when I found out that most charts with progesterone supplements will look great and have nice high temps. Duh it makes total sense, but I just didn't see it. I was thinking "wow my chart looks amazing". So techinically it was a false amazing chart. AF is now due in 2 days and we shall see what happens :)




2 months and 1 week until our visit!

Tuesday, June 25, 2013

7DPO

Today is 7DPO and nothing is particularly standing out that this cycle is going to end with bfp. The one great thing about trying for so long is, my failed cycles aren't that big of a deal anymore. I just pick up and move on. If everything is finally back on track, I will be start AF in three days. I am trying to keep to this schedule since we are going to see Dr. Kim on September 3rd. I have a month supply of bcp if needed before we go to see her. Just waiting to see how things play out. 





I received some awesome recommendations from a fellow blogger yesterday on places to visit while in Chicago. I have to admit, I am getting pretty darn excited. Al and I have done so much traveling in the last few years and I am almost becoming accustom to it. We are in the process of planning one of our trips next year to Destin Florida. We are renting a condo for a week or so and going with my sister and her family. It has been so many years since I visited Florida. I guess Destin is known as the emerald coast. How could you not love that? The only disappointment I have this year is, we aren't going to be able to visit New York for Christmas. Since we are flying to Chicago and staying longer in hotel etc. that really ate up most of our New York fund :(. I am hoping we can go next year though. Instead I think we decided to go to Branson for a weekend and see Silver Dollar City. I heard the Christmas lights are the best in the Nation.

Finally, I found this morning and shared with my infertility fb group and I would also like to share it here. 

 Some days it is hard to remember, but I am SO thankful for the life I have.

Monday, June 24, 2013

The Beautiful Things In Life

Thank you Courtney for giving me permission to share this picture with my blogging community. 

Some may ask why I do quilts for woman who are pregnant after infertility. This picture below says it all.

 This was my first quilt ever done and it was for such a special girl. We had two cycles together and she went on to get her beautiful Ellie. I look at this picture and know without one ounce of questioning, that this is my purpose. If I never become pregnant I will still use what extra time I have to keep making this quilts. I knew it was a very special thing for me, but never realized how truly special it was for the woman who I make these for.

With such a huge heart filled with joy and meaning I wanted to share this picture with all of you and hope that maybe you can also find something in your life to take out the void of infertility and fill it with joy.

Have a great Monday! 

Oh! Does anyone have suggestions on places to see in Chicago and places to eat? We will be there over Labor Day weekend from Saturday until Sunday. Looking for some recommendations!

Saturday, June 22, 2013

4DPO



Today my chart is looking fantastic! It does say I am 4DPO and according to my ovaries I am only 3DPO. Still testing out trigger so I can pick up a line if I get lucky this month.

 
I also found some wonderful fabrics and half was delivered today. Hancock Fabrics was having an 50% off sale online, plus additional 10% off whole purchase! As a new quilter I have no idea what I will use all the fabric for, but who can turn it down for $2.99 a yard? Not this girl! I promised to make my niece a nice quilt for watching her sisters softball games. It won't get done this season, but I will have it done for her next season. I plan on using all my left over fabric pieces so it will be crazy fun! Speaking of, I made my cousin a quilt for her baby that is due anytime. I thought it was the ugliest quilt I ever made, but got such a positive response from all the girls in my facebook group. I also used all scraps to throw it together. Here is a picture of the topper:

I haven't really done quilts for anyone besides the girls I have met going through infertility, but my sister asked if I would make it, so I did.

Oh here is some of my clearance fabric. I think I might be using the chevron to do the backing on the twins quilts I am currently working on.



If everything keeps working out like I think it will, I have two sets of twins and possibly a third set of twins or a singleton (we will know on July 3rd). Looks like I will be busy throughout the summer with my blankets and that is great with me. Wish I had more time to work on them though.

 
 

 

Thursday, June 20, 2013

Ugh.

Well the title pretty well sums up how I have been feeling lately. Ever since I was a teenager I remember having bad headaches all the time and they have followed me through my life. Two years ago I was diagnosed with migraines. I was put on two different medications. One was to be taken daily and the other was for my onset of migraines. Well problem was/is you can't take them while pregnant. In-fact my neurologist suggested to be on two forms of birth control while on these medications. I quit taking them a while back and my migraines are back full force again. I have been to see my general doctor and was prescribed prescription aleve (which is another no no) while trying to get pregnant. I think my last prescription was for beta blockers to help with blood flow issues. They made me feel really weird so I also quit taking them. I now take Tylenol and as any of you know that drug is such a freaking joke! Today marks day 11 of a headache that hasn't went away. I have noticed they are now lasting longer then before. I really hate that I have to make the decision between trying to get pregnant or taking something to relieve the pain. For now I have to make the choice of trying to become pregnant. 

In other news, one of my favorite actors died of a heart attack in Italy. If any of you are Soprano fans you would definitely know who I am talking about, James Gandolfini. Such a sad thing. He was only 51 years old. I think my favorite movie he ever played in was 8mm with Nicholas Cage. That was awesome movie! He was a real scum bag in that part. 

Well in some good news I am technically 1DPO. My temps shot way up this morning! I think from the amount of pressure and pain last night, I had all three follicles release. Of course there is no scientific study to back up that claim. Well except my ovaries saying " Umm yeah it happened".


Tuesday, June 18, 2013

Mama Bear


As you all know I have a infertility facebook group. We have 35 members and let me tell you how amazing these ladies are. Remember my last group went to hell in a hand basket because of totally ugly people. Well this is not the case now. Almost every single member I met through blogging or other groups and have a personal relationship with. One of my members about 15 weeks ago became pregnant with twins so she started a pregnancy after infertility facebook page. I absolutely loved this idea. She stayed in my group but gave others the option to also come over if they wanted. I will be the first to admit that I am part of her group and not pregnant. I love to keep an eye on all my "little bears" and see how pregnancy is doing, see their beautiful bumps and u/s pics etc! Within this last week I had two more special woman from my group also go over to the pregnancy group. Is it possible to be so proud and feel like a Mama Bear to these woman? because I totally do. I think all together now about 10 members or more of my group have become pregnant and I feel like I personally have accomplished a major goal. 

So anyway today I sit here hoping that the remaining 25 of my girls go on to the other group and my wish no matter how UN-realistic it sounds is, I have everyone that I know graduated to that next level. From all of the bloggers I know and woman in real life I know struggling with infertility. My one and only wish is EVERY single one of you get your wish!

Okay off to work. Crazy, crazy work week! 

Dr. Kim Update:

My appointment on August 26th was right at time I was suppose to start period. Can't have the u/s done at that time. I called today and had it moved to September 3rd now. 

Monday, June 17, 2013

CD13 U/S Results

I went into my RE office this morning just hoping I had at least one follicle. I haven't been feeling anything down stairs so I was worried. To my surprise, my right ovary finally stepped up after all these years and produced (3) mature follicles. He didn't tell me actual measurements but here is what they were:
(1) 23 x16
(1) 20x12
(1) 16x 14

I am triggering tomorrow that way I will have time for (3) nice  plump follicles and hopefully (1) good quality egg :)

 

Sunday, June 16, 2013

This & That Plus some Pictures!

For anyone that just wants ttc news and doesn't want to look at pictures, I am CD12 have u/s tomorrow to see how I responded to Clomid this cycle. Trigger and TI. Then next cycle we will be starting the real drugs again :)

For a 38 year old woman, I live a very simple life (boring) most would think, but I am truly happy. No more bars or clubs for Al and I. We go out to eat dinner before 6 to miss crowds. We love to work in our yard, I love my rose bushes and quilting. When we do go places it tends to be where the older groups go. I do catch a lot of comments that we are senior citizens in a 30 something year old body, but for us it works and works well :)

Here are some pictures of my beautiful rose bushes/flowers etc. I also posted a few from our little visit to my sisters house yesterday. Everyone had a blast!












 

Saturday, June 15, 2013

Chicago Update

I am totally excited to announce that I have talked Al into spending extra money and flying to Chicago for our visit with Dr. Kim in August! All of you know how scared I am of flying and the anxiety I get, but I weighed my options:

Option #1: 1 /12 flight non-stop Chicago

Option #2: 12 + hours of driving in the car. This also includes the fact my husband drives like a freaking grandpa. We set cruise control and it is usually one or if lucky, two miles over speed limit. It stays on even when passing and the other car is only going a quarter of a mile slower then us. I think you get the picture. I just couldn't do it!

Our original plan was to leave on Saturday and come home on Tuesday. Of course driving would only leave us Sunday to see what Chicago has to offer. Now that we are flying and staying the same out of days, we can go eat at some great places and site see. Any suggestions for places to see while we are there will be graciously accepted. To put a cherry on top, we found out AL can you the corporate account through work to get a discount on hotel and flights! 

I am so excited about this. Almost a mini vacation!

OMG a fellow blogger and WONDERFUL lady just got an amazing bfp after years and years of infertility! It wasn't one of those " I can see a line, I think", it was a "HOLY crap look at those two amazing dark lines"! I can't say who it is now as she has not announced it on blog or others besides our little group, but most of you know her and will be so excited to hear the news!!!
Congrats my friend you so beyond deserve this. Also know that I am making you a quilt when time comes!
 

In work related news, I have actually been really busy this week and it has been a welcome surprise. Only bad thing is, I stared at excel worksheet yesterday for close to ten hours and my eyes started twitching toward end of the day. We are hoping to sell a huge project we bought a few years ago and I am trying to prepare our Assignments. To give you a scope of how big this is, it contains over 44,000 acres of minerals. I have to go in and entered each Lease on an Exhibit for the sale. Yesterday alone I had 468 by the end of day and still only half way there. Hoping to go in super early Monday and have it done by end of work day. Love the work though! I miss all the land work I did for my last company. I was hired on here as a Landman and also executive assistant to my boss. It seems I do more assistant work then landwork and that kills me. I am so afraid I will lose all my knowledge when we move to Colorado and I need it for a new job in the industry. My hope is to take my CPL within the next year or so. Without a college degree you need 10 years experience in Oil Industry and a sponsor and then you can take the test. I am going to start studying for it. After I get my CPL that pretty much guarantees me a great job from here on out. There is no higher certificate.  I never thought I would find a job or a profession that I liked, but here almost 10 years later, I love it!

 Today we are heading to my sisters house.. My aunt and uncle from California are down visiting. We are having a nice bbq and probably hanging out and swimming.

Hope you all have a great weekend!

 

Thursday, June 13, 2013

This & That

Last night as I was sitting in my recliner enjoying the new Budweiser Lime-er-rita it suddenly hit me that we are in an active ttc cycle and I am enjoying some nice adult beverages, caffeine and probably other things that so many of shy away from. My thought on it...........


Screw it.

Seriously.

Screw it.


Al and I decided after our last miscarriage that we weren't stopping our lives anymore or changing everything to get pregnant. We did it for so many years and guess what? Well ladies me not having a nice glass of wine or a few cups of coffee/tea didn't help me get pregnant. After thinking about all of this I came to the conclusion:

As a woman suffering from infertility I found myself trying every single crazy ass thing I would read or hear to help with getting pregnant. I ate the pineapple, I kept my legs over my head for 25 minutes after intercourse, I tried every vitamin on the market, cut out sugars, ate avocados etc. Now am I saying that these things don't work or help aid in getting pregnant, no I am not. The truth is that none of us know, including the doctors what the special magically combination will be to get pregnant. As you know when we got pregnant with Circle I did everything wrong because we didn't even give that cycle an extra thought of working, but it did.

I guess the point that I am trying to make is, I will be conscious of the our cycles and use medications to help get more eggs, trigger shots and TI on the right days, but I am seriously done with all the other crazy shit. If I want to have intercourse with my husband hanging from the ceiling on a sex swing then that is what I will do, even though it might not be the correct position for sperm to travel to the egg. I will enjoy these amazing new Straw-ber-ritas and Lime-er-ritas that I found in Texas. Oh btw Oklahoma doesn't sell them because the alcohol content is to high. Just another reason Oklahoma needs to get it's crap together and move into the future. That is another rant for another time for sure.

And this my friends is a the perfect size adult beverage ( 8 oz cans)
One (me) can only hope that sometime in the future they find a study that shows these delicious little cans will help us get pregnant! Oh what a day that would be :)

In other news, our alley cat Irma had kittens. I have been trying to trap this cat for over two years now and take her to my vet so they can fix her. Don't get me wrong I don't mind feeding the strays but they family needs to quit growing. We now have (5) adorable kittens under our porch in the front of house. Chester her (mate/brother) hasn't been around for weeks now. I am afraid he met the end of his life and it makes me sad. Although she will have to find another man cat to breed with and hopefully that takes a while until I can figure out how to trap her!

Wednesday, June 12, 2013

Nervous

I am sitting here this morning and so nervous and potentially scared about my appointment with Dr. Kwak Kim. A wonderful fellow blogger Jessiah@dreamingofdimples posted last night about her visit to the CCRM (Colorado Center Reproductive Medicine). I am sure that most of you are very familiar with this place and their reputation. It absolutely broke my heart that her appointment was disappointing to say the least. She felt very un-cared for as a patient and was shuttled through the appointment and then the issue of $. Anyway I am so dis-hearten to read all of this because I am in almost the same situation. My appointment with Dr. Kwak Kim is in two months and there is a long waiting list, plus massive amounts of records and forms etc that we did to see her. Now I am so scared that I have worked this appointment up in my head to be something that might let me down and possibly give me no answers. I know that no one can say what kind of experience we will have and if we will get answers or get pregnant after seeing her. I know it is a total crap shot. I am hoping that 3 1/2 years in, the odds will turn to our favor and something will change. I do have to still prepare myself for the opposite also. Many of you know that I try to stay positive and just as important, realistic. At the very least I know that I have done everything within our financial, emotionally and physical power to get pregnant and that has to be considered a huge success. 

In other news, I go in for my cd13 u/s on Monday and will also be doing a trigger shot. I told Al that after seeing Dr. Kwak Kim I want to be as aggressive as possible with stims. At this point we are still thinking about doing only TI. How could we not when we have been further than iui or ivf treatments? I have secured some Menopur (because of a very special donation), I have also secured Follistim and Lovenox. I am truly hoping we can pull out at least 4 or 5 eggs with these cycles. To cut down on the usage of Follistim and Menopur, I am also going to use in conjunction with Femara and see if we still have a good amount of eggs. I know that every month I have an awesome ovarian reserve. Usually 10-12 on each side. If absolutely needed by the end of year or beginning of next year we might consider a few more cycles of iui with stims. Al and I have talked extensively for the past three years on when we will give up  accept what has been giving to us and move on with other things. Our golden number is 40. I will be 38 in August so we do have a little more time to work with. 

One last thing I wanted to post about today. I posted this quote yesterday and I wanted to explain my position on it a little further.

I don't want anyone to look at this and think " Oh if I think positive then I will get pregnant" that is totally not the meaning of these words. Bad things happen to all of us and it is only you and me who can control how we deal with a situation. If you are positive then you can ultimately find the good in anything, but if you are a negative person you will always see the negative in everything. When you think positive and handle things with an understanding you won't always have a mole hill turn into a mountain. I hope that makes sense. I don't want to change anyone and I know there are many people out that that live off the attention they get from complaining and being negative all the time. I might have been one of those people a while back and then I saw it was not working well for me. Every bad thing that happens to me will of course set me back for a moment, but I have to remind myself to STOP, BREATH, and THINK. 

Okay off to "shit rainbows" for the day 


 

Tuesday, June 11, 2013

No Clomid Crazy for me


Today is day 5 of Clomid and no "Clomid Crazy" for me. I have a headache (which is totally manageable and some night sweats, also manageable)

I remember when I first started the whole infertility scene. I was perscribed my clomid and oh how awful the side effects were, or so I thought.

Then I moved to Menopur and thought oh wow clomid wasn't bad at all, this stuff burns like hell fire.

Then I moved to the fun "ivf" medications and learned what shitty drugs are truly like. I remember vividly telling Al that after our ivf treatments, I would NEVER have to use Lupron again. That is a promise I intend to keep. 

So years later and being through:
Clomid
Femara
Menopur
BCP
Lupron
Follistim
Progesterone
etc. etc. etc.

It is all a walk in the park, or is it? I heard that Lovenox is also a very evil drug and have seen the bruises sizes of freaking baseballs on people. Can't say I am real excited to get started on that one, but will take it with stride because I know this is all for a greater purpose :)

Which reminds me of a story that was told to me when we first started this journey. I was in getting m y HSG done and it was uncomfortable. I know now it was because of my issues with curving passages and ridges that made putting cath in so difficult. The tech kept asking if I was okay and my reply was " I am fine". He looks at me and says " YOu would be amazed on how many woman come in here and act like they are dying. I often tell them, how do you expect to have a baby then?" Okay that is totally unprofessional, but I laughed so hard! He had a great point.

On I march............................ hopefully a good ovulation and a few little eggs mixed with a whole bunch of sperm and BAM!

Monday, June 10, 2013

Quilt #11 & 12 Special

Every single quilt I have made so far has been special to me and help its own place in my heart.

I am starting two quilts for my friend Cristy@SearchingforourSilverLining. I could probably go on and on about all the things that make this woman so remarkable. Since I am sure none of you want to read a book, I will keep it short and just highlight a few things about her.

I came across her blog almost three years ago. I always thought her blogs were so well written and very honest, inspirational and raw emotion. She had several losses and heart breaks along the way. I remember the day their last transfer failed. I cried and my heart was so heavy for her. They took time and went through counseling, grieved, researched living child free, researched adoption. So many things were going on with her. This whole time they had two little embryos frozen and waiting. She wasn't sure for the longest time that she could transfer them and possibly go through all the hurt all over again. For this was their last shot.

I remember the transfer day. I am almost positive she was wearing some crazy superman socks with a cape. I laughed and laughed. I also  knew in my heart it was going to work this time.

And.......

It did.

She is now pregnant with a set of twins who will always know how wanted they were and how their mom and dad fought so very hard for them. Through her pregnancy she has made the decision to not share bumps or u/s as she knew the hurt it caused her when in the trenches. I respect that decision. 

So I am so happy to announce the quilt topper for one of the twins. It has been such a blessing that she allowed me to do this for her family.


 

Sunday, June 9, 2013

Looking for some new Blogs

If any of you can refer me over to some infertility blogs I can start following, it would be much appreciated. I have lost about half of my bloggers who are moving on to the second phase of their infertility journeys. I am still following because who can not stand looking at cute bumps and even cuter babies. Okay I might be a little of a sucker for that sort of thing :)

I really would like to start building up on woman in the trenches blogs. Maybe I can help or offer information or support. I will state that I am a little picky on what blogs I follow. Please don't suggest any that are 24/7 bitter and complaining. I know that is a natural human reaction to infertility, but I don't have time for it.

Really looking for some that have other things mixed in with the blog, maybe hobbies, stories, pictures, etc. 


Thanks for the help!!!

We are back!

We made it back from  our vacation around 5 pm last night. I was totally worn out after a 10 hour drive. Did I mention that I hate driving just a little less then flying?

After our tornado on Friday, we cleaned up the house and yard over the weekend and heading out on the trip Tuesday morning. I ended up going to access clinic somewhere in South Texas. I had a pretty bad sinus infection and also started AF on first day of trip. I was bound and determined neither of those will effect my attitude or having fun, and they didn't! I got antibiotics, tampons and lots of alcohol! 

I am going to share lots of pictures with you. They are all on my facebook page so some of you probably already seen and may want to just skip over :)
We went to the beach and the water was about 84 degrees, along with some jellyfish :) We also visited Moody Gardens (which was my favorite by far)! It had three pyramids:

Aquarium Pyramid
Rainforest Pyramid
Discovery Pyramid
A old steam boat ride that takes you across the bay
3D movie
4D movie
New dinosaur exhibit
And Palm Beach with a lazy river ( was nice after all that walking)!


We also went to Pleasure Pier and it was okay. VERY expensive. For all four of us to get in and two girls had ride bracelets, it was almost $100. I think there may be around 20 rides and only 6 of them are for bigger kids. Of course our kids rode a total of 3 rides a piece and were done. I won't lie, I was very frustrated.

We went to visit this old beautiful mansion and I was so excited! We paid our $35 and went on self guided tour with little recorder that tells you the history. About 10 rooms in, the tour was over. The top floor and attic were closed and the basement was closed. Come to find out, that was another additional cost of the tour. Is it just me or is that just absolutely un-needed! I refused to pay additional cost and we moved on. The home was beautiful though!

Here are some alot of pictures: Hope you enjoy! TTC update on very bottom.























TTC Front:
CD6, Clomid 100mg TI this month.

Exciting things are coming my way though! August I see Dr. Kim. I have been able to locate some lovenox when it is prescribed to me and also some Follistim. I think next month we will start our Femara/Follistim with TI cycles.

Big things are happening! I might not be pregnant, but I am putting in the work and I know it will pay off eventually!!!