Thursday, January 31, 2013

Liebster Award

Good thing I am not in school. I was nominated for the Liebster Award from my amazing friend Steph. I totally copied all the introduction from her page to mine :)

This is an award given to new or up-and-coming bloggers with less than 200 followers. To graciously accept the award, you must follow the rules below.

So here is how this blog award works:

  • Tell 11 random facts about yourself.
  • Answer the 11 questions asked by the person who nominated you.
  • Choose 11 blogs with less than 200 followers to nominate and link to their blogs from your blog.
  • Come up with 11 questions to ask the bloggers you nominate.
  • Tell the 11 bloggers that you nominated them by posting on their blog.
  • Link back to the person who nominated you and thank them dearly from the bottom of your heart!
  • Post your award badge with pride!
Here are my 11 random facts:

1. I need to vacuum my house at least once a day, if not multiple times.
2. I am at least 40 % grey
3. I love dill pickle chips
4. At night when I go to sleep I have to move my toes
5. I sanitize my desk at work every other day with sanitizing wipes and it drives my co-workers crazy.
6. I met my husband during my short lived hobby of roller derby
7. I always wanted to be a dolphin growing up
8. I dropped out of high school and went back to get my degree two years later.
9. I used to have a cosmetology license.
10. No one is the house is allowed to fold towels except for me
11. I love the spring

Here are my answers to the questions posed by the blogger who nominated me:

1. Sweet or savory? Definitely savory
2. What is your favorite season of the year? Spring
3. What is your ideal job / career? I love working in oil industry
4. What is your favorite Friday evening activity? Watching Diners, Drive Ins and Dives
5. Have you ever suffered a concussion? No
6. What about you are you most proud of? Raising my daughter into a wonderful and caring young lady
7. Do you have any tatoos? If so, what and where and from when? If not, why not and do you think you'll ever get one? I do have many tattoos. My half sleeve is my baby and filled with ocean life. I also have a American Flag butterfly on my back for all our veterans. The other two are in the process of being moved from a drunk young night.
8. Do you use body lotion? What kind? I use margaritaville body butter from my friend Leslie and her soap company Lillisyster
9. What is your favorite movie or tv show? I love Being Human and recently the Carrie Diaries
10. What is the most important quality in a friend? Spouse? Patience
11. If you could travel anywhere in the US / world, where would it be and for how long? I always wanted to travel to Ireland.

Here are the 11 bloggers I am recommending:

 I have decided not to nominate anyone particular, but would love if you want to participate!

And here are my 11 questions to those bloggers:

1. Dog or cat person?
2. Who is the outgoing one in your marriage?
3. Have you ever shot a gun?
4. Do you perfer pancakes or waffles?
5. If you could be one animal, what would it be?
6. What is the best thing about your house?
7. What state would you choose to live in ?
8. Regular or diet pop?
9. What is your genre of movies?
10. Are you a diamond or gold person?
11. If you could change your name, what would it be?

Beta # 3 Results UPDATED

HCG #112

I can't go back in until Monday though and that is a huge kick in the gut. Saturday will be 18DPO and the real test if I am going to make it past the dreaded day.


Happy today :) and cautiously optimistic!

I am going in Saturday for beta #4

Pee Sticks before Beta #3

I am literally shaking because I am so filled with anxiety about today's and possibly Saturdays beta/s. As most of you know I am generally a positive up beat person. Anyone new visiting my blog probably wouldn't think that and its okay. My last three chemical pregnancies all started out with great lines and rising betas and for some reason at 16DPO - 18DPO it bottoms out. Today is 16DPO and a very emotional day for me. One of two things will happen today, either my levels will rise and I go back in Saturday, or they have stopped rising. I think it is so hard for anyone to understand unless you have gone through multiple losses, and then you definitely get how scary and frustrating this can be. One thing I do know for sure, regardless of the results today or two days from now. I will keep going forward like I always do.  I won't lie though, I want this baby, I really do. The thought of having this baby makes my eyes fill up with tears. It is just so hard to think of that right now. I feel like right now I have to deal with what is in front of me, and today it is my levels rising. Sorry for rambling on, I haven't slept more then two hours a night for the last four nights and I am a complete emotional train wreck today.

Here are my tests as of this morning. Btw I made the mistake of asking my husband if they were darker. His response " they all look the same".. Great hunny! thanks for making my day even more stressful :)

I don't ever say this enough, but I want to thank all of you that have been with me through everything. I honestly don't know where I would be without your support. Seriously, thank you.

Wednesday, January 30, 2013

Sweet Story & Pee Sticks

I had to share this story with you ladies this morning. Please excuse grammar etc. I haven't slept for three nights now.

I texted my sister yesterday and told her my levels had went up. She was really confused since she thought my next appointment was Thursday. So she called me and I explained how impatient I am. 

My sister has always told me about this little ole lady she works with at the center and her name is Ms. Barbara. If I had to guess her age I would say around late 60's early 70's. Well Ms. Barbara knows about all of our treatment. My sister shares that information with her because she feels so awful that we can get pregnant.. Ms. Barbara always prays for us and ask my sister how each cycle is going and how we are doing. Well yesterday my sister told Ms. Barbara that I was pregnant again. She explained that this time we basically did all the wrong things (which is very true) and I am pregnant. She said not to get hopes up that we have to make it past 18DPO because my levels always drop by then and I lose the pregnancy. So do you know what Mr. Barbara said? She had a feeling this was finally the time and is writing a happy face on her calendar at work on 18DPO for us to get good news.

Honestly, how sweet is that? A total stranger I have never met in my life so thoughtful.... It is days like this that I know how truly blessed I am.

FYI: Test are still getting darker As requested here are my pee sticks from last night and this morning. Please remember there is only 12 hour in between each test so they look about the same.

Tuesday, January 29, 2013

Beta # 2 Results

Beta #1 12DPO, hcg 16.9 and progesterone 23
Beta #2 14DPO, hcg 44.7 and progesterone 27

Beta #2

I made the decision this morning that I was not going to wait until Thursday for the next beta. For my last three chemical pregnancies my clinic has done that and it is torture. I called them and explained the situation that Dr. H told me to come back in Thursday and I couldn't wait any longer. The receptonist told me to come in and if Dr. H was upset he could talk with me about it later. So I went it. I told the nurse that I was sorry but none of them are in our shoes and don't know what it is like to be told to wait some and some more and some more, especially my Doctor :) cause he is a man. I also explained that I don't want to get fired at patient for not listening to the doctor and apologized for being such a demanding patient. She told me that he would not be upset at all and after everything I have been through in the last few years that I could come in whenever I wanted. We talked about my test from last night and this morning. Last night was darker then its been, but still to light for 14DPO. I guess I just needed the numbers to double from 16.9 on Sunday. I think even if they did somehow double, the number is still to low. Well at least I only go crazy until 3 or 4 this afternoon verses going crazy for another two days.

I will update when I hear back today. Sorry if I have been driving everyone crazy with these stupid "f" ing pee sticks, but I have a serious problem. If TLC decides to come out with a episode of Strange Addictions to pee sticks, I will seriously sign up! Last year I spent $560 on FRER's. 

Monday, January 28, 2013

13DPO and Waiting

Well after testing this morning and my test looking the same for a few days now, I decided to discontinue my progesterone and let nature take its course. My back has been hurting for two days now (bad). I am having lots of pulling sensations in my uterus. Cramps have been coming and going since Saturday morning. I am a little excited in the fact that I think Femara is seriously the drug that will help us get pregnant. I have been on it for three cycles now and got pregnant twice. I know it's not huge milestone when you get pregnant with a chemical, but it is something, right? Keeping fingers crossed that (if) and that is a very STRONG (if) this pregnancy doesn't work out, then numbers will start dropping in next day or two and my RE will let us start Femara for next iui. He has let me start a new cycle after chemicals with low numbers and only lasting a few days. 

I also need to start staying away from other infertility groups. I am so freaking tired of the negative drama queens. Also bitching and whining, that gets so old! I am so thankful that my group is pretty amazing and filled with wonderful woman. I won't go into any more today.

Here are pics from my test this morning: As you can tell my afternoon test are always darker. I first tested positive on 10DPO so as you can tell, they are not progressing anywhere close to where they should be. This morning is on bottom 13DPO:


I just heard back from my clinic and if levels are keep dropping then I can resume iui as soon as AF hits again :)

Sunday, January 27, 2013

The gift that never stops giving.....

Chemical Pregnancy #5

I went in this morning for a beta at 12DPO. My hcg levels were 16.9 and my progesterone was 23. My doctor made the remark that now I am getting pregnant often. Guess it really doesn't count if it is  not viable though. He said that level is low and wants me to come back in on Thursday for another test. I am going to stop my progesterone today. That number 23 was without my suppositories since they don't show up in blood stream. Hoping I can get past this little bump and start my next cycle within this week or next.

Here was a picture of my latest chemical. I like to document all of them for future reference:

On a MUCH brighter note: Please go by and wish my wonderful fellow blogger and friend good luck on her ultrasound tomorrow. Cristy at Fingers are crossed for you my sweet friend. I am waiting in such anticipation to see the baby and heartbeat!!!

Saturday, January 26, 2013

Part 2

I called my clinic this morning and explained I was having another chemical pregnacy and asked if it would interfere with starting my new treatment plan. They wanted me to come in for beta, so I go in tomorrow morning. Just want this one to end quickly.

Also little back ground on this cycle. I was on narcotic pain meds until 4 days ago. I haven't taken any of my vitamins, aspirin etc. and only took my Femara for four days because I had a virus. How in the heck did this really happen. I mean of course we had sex when the ovulation test showed positive because I KNEW this wouldn't happen. I am infertile and for almost three years, these things don't happen!.

I took a test a few hours ago:

 Top one was from 6 last night
Middle was 6 this morning
Bottom was 11 this afternoon.

Friday, January 25, 2013

Infertility Funny Friday AGAIN

Okay this goes to show you how out of touch with this week I am :) As you will noticed I posted Infertility Funny Friday yesterday on Thursday. I figured I will give you all a bonus this week.

Thursday, January 24, 2013

Funny Infertility Friday

TTC Update:

9DPO- One liner on test. Hoping for CD1 tomorrow so I can move on after our chemical last month.

Monday, January 21, 2013

Negative Reality Shows & ICLW WELCOME

 Welcome ICLWers! Sorry I picked a bad day to rant! Promise my post are usually completely different. For my history you can click on my tab above labeled TTC History... I look forward to reading your comments and reading some new blogs this month!


This post today will piss some people off and I am okay with that. This is my one place to keep things real.

This post has been some time in the making.  As you guys know I have a infertility facebook page and also follow a few groups. What is the main reason for these groups? Support right? Where does the line turn into the grey area of support? I want to support all the woman on my page and try to do so with the best of my knowledge. I know that I can be a harsh person or come off harsh to people sometimes because I don't want to be weighed down with negativity. I also know that every person handles infertility different. Some are very positive and keep march forward, some are very negative and need a lot of support. etc. ...... I also know that with suffering though secondary infertilty that many woman feel I don't understand. Which btw the is bullshit. I understand as well as anyone else does. That is another can of worms to open on another day. 

Okay my post today is about all the negative reality shows that depict teen moms, bad moms, celebrity partying moms etc. I find it very hard to show support to woman that watch this shit and then complain. First of all it is a decision to watch these shows knowing very well that is it going to upset and offend you as an infertile. So why do you choose to do this to yourself? I know for me personally I avoid any kind of situation that I have the control to, if I know it will upset me. I don't read articles that have headlines like " Infant dead and mom is caught in casino". It is very unhealthy in my opinion. Which brings me back to the whole "just because it is good for me, doesn't mean it works for you" I know that my overview on things aren't necessarily right or wrong as is the same with other woman whom choose to watch or read this stuff. Here is the main problem I am having. I set up my infertility facebook page because I was tired of all the negative comments consistently and wanted to set up a place for woman more like me who tend to look at the positive side of things. Woman who despite seeing one line month after month can cry it off and start fighting again. So this brings up a problem when I have woman posting on this page about seeing blah blah reality show and then getting bitter etc. The plain truth is I don't want this crap on my page, but I am trying to be sensitive and show support. Any helpful suggestions on how I can deal with this problem? I am prepared to lose some members and that is their choice. Maybe it would be a better fit for anyone who is offended to find another group that is more supportive to what they need. I don't want to lose the whole idea of why I set up this page. If I only end up with 5 members who feel the same way as I do at the end of the day, then I feel I did a good job. Make any sense? Am I being to harsh? 

Any feedback positive or negative would be appreciated.

BTW I am either 6DPO or 7DPO. I got positive on my opk on last Monday and Tuesday. So I counted Wednesday as 1DPO, does that seem right? Either way I am feeling AF signs and not to upset that this cycle didn't work out. I was on pain meds for my teeth and wasn't taking my vitamins regularly. When cd1 gets here I can call the clinic and start my next iui with Femara/Follistim. Btw have any of you had your prometrin suppositories covered by insurance? I know they are super expensive, but I really like them!

Wednesday, January 16, 2013

Being Misinformed!

I am seriously going to rant and rant some more. You might want to skip this post today. 

Al and I decided since we spent so much money on fertility treatments last year that we would deduct our medical this year. Once we learned that it had to total over 7% of your total income then we knew for sure we had enough. I started going through all of our receipts from 2012. As you all know we bought the Attain Multi-Cycle Program that consisted of (2) fresh cycles and (2) frozen cycles for X amount of dollars. I read through and through our contract and so much of it was foreign to me. We talked to our clinic and the basically told us what wasn't covered:

Freezing of embyros
Storage of frozen embryos

Great good deal huh! So today I call my RE clinic to find out how much copays we made in 2012 so I could add to our medical expenses. She faxes me over a 28 page print off and at the end it says we owe $2,200. WTF? I know that we did owe a few hundred but $2,200? I start looking through the invoice and here are a few charges:

$773.35 for " Extended culture of oocyte/embryo 4-7 days

$1,000 for " Extended culture of oocyte/embryo 4-7 days

$400.00 "Assisted hatching embryos

So I look in my contract with Attain totally confused and there it is

Covered services

* Embryo culture (up to 3 days)

I do understand that you should know what you are signing when spending that much money. But, we didn't even know going into this that embryo culture was something we needed to know about!

I talked to the girl at my RE office and explained to her I feel like we were taken for fools and was very upset. I was told by my RE on day 3 that none of our remaining would make it to blast stage let alone frozen so why did I get charged for 4-7 cultures????  She was absolutely sympatheic and said she would get those two huge charges reversed. 

This story ends well, but what about all of us going into this and not knowing. My program also covered (2) FET. Thank god we didn't have any because it doesn't cover the culture after three days to decide if they can freeze and it doesn't cover freezing them or storage.

I am just really upset that Attain or our clinic didn't take the time to truly explain this process to us. We were wet behind the ears going into this. Never knew what questions to ask. 

Moral to the story..... Read between the lines and ask ALOT of questions! It would have been cheaper for us to go through our clinic and have ivf done twice.


Within 45 minutes after conversation with my clinic I received an email stating the charges were immediately taken off and I know owe $345. Sigh of relief! 

Money Tree

If there is such a thing as a money tree, would you please happen to seed in my back yard this year! Yesterday I had my dentist appointment for a check up on my extraction. I also made an appointment for Cierra. We were told back in August that she needed a second root canal. Since she had one in August it totally eliminated our insurance for the year. The dentist felt confident we could wait until January to have the second one done. Well during yesterdays visit, not only does Cierra need a root canal, but eight cavaties filled, three wisdom teeth pulled and that doesn't include the ortho she needs done. Even though I am have always been scared of the dentist I preach to Cierra how important it is to brush and floss etc. After yesterdays visit, she needs a total of about $10,000 done in work, this also includes ortho (braces) which are about $6,000. Luckily our dentist offers something care Credit Care and we were approved for a good portion of that cost at zero % interest unless late on payment then it will be at 14.99%. I told Al last night that Cierra's tooth care is going to start matching our infertility cost soon.  I am not going to lie, I am a little stressed out about money. We have our iui's starting next month. Thank goodness they are only $301 a pop per month and now we have enough Follistim and Femara to do many cycles. We are also planning our trip to see the Reproductive Immunologist in Chicago later this year and that will cost some money. Al wants to trade my crv in spring and get a new vehicle. For once I am not on the same page. It has been paid off for almost a year now and I love the money I am saving. He said that it only makes sense due to the fact it has almost 130,000 miles and will need new timing belt within the next year and tires etc. His mustang is paid off next month so we wouldn't have any car payments. I like that idea, but would also like having a new vehicle. I guess either way we would be ahead of the game with two paid off vehicles. We have our three short vacations planned. I guess we could scrap those, but vacations play a huge roll in our lives. It is a nice get-a-way and helps relax our bodies and minds after treatments and failed cycles etc. I know that most people think that vacation is a luxury and for the most part it is. For us, it is a must have. Of course we aren't going to tropical island trips so that we don't spend alot of money. This year we are planning trips to Galvenston TX and New York for Christmas. I also have our anniversary trip planned to Eureka SPrings Arkansas where we got married. I reserved a Manhattan Tree House Cabin for the weekend (we definitely need that trip). So I guess for the most part we are super blessed to be able to save money and enjoy other things and not just spending everything on our treatments. 

I still want a money tree though, seriously!

  Oh before I forget one sweet story about my daughter: 

I was at the dentist with my daughter this morning and looking at my blogger. I was actually checking out Amanda Griswold awesome bump pics. My daughter looked at me with the saddest eyes and says " Mom doesn't that hurt you to look at pregnant people when you can't have a baby"? My response " No Cierra because all of the girls on my blog have gone through exactly what I am and they weren't suppose to have babies either" For me it is so different seeing one of us getting pregnant verses Betty Jo down the street that looks at a penis and is pregnant.

1DPO- Today I had pink spotting ( I am going to google but I think I read that is normal with ovulation and letting the egg(S) release. I think I had more then one this month.

Tuesday, January 15, 2013


I got this beauty last night on CD17. It sure did surprise me. I thought for sure I wasn't going to ovulate this month. This puts me one day closer to CD1 and starting IUI #6!!!!!! Yes that is excitement in my typing :)

Monday, January 14, 2013

My interesting day!

This seriously happened to me about 20 minutes ago:
True story of working downtown OKC. I had to go drop a Fed-Ex package off for my boss. Sitting in my vehicle and a guy starts running up out of nowhere and scared the shit out of me. I locked my doors and just looked at him in shock. He told me to roll down my window and I yelled asking what he wanted. He replies "Maam I promise I am not going to hurt you" Does any situation starting out with those words end well? He goes on to show me some sort of medical bracelet and says he has cancer and is wearing a diaper. Then he says it looks "warm and toasty " in my car. He begs for some money and I am still shocked. Jeez I am such a small town girl that does not belong in the city!

Feeling Good

Well I was afraid that I had developed a dry socket from my tooth extraction last week. I had the worse pain ever Friday, Saturday and Sunday. This morning I woke up and my mouth is feeling so much better. I have check up tomorrow so they can get a good look and make sure everything is healing!

So I have huge blogger news, our very own Cristy from just had her second beta and numbers are looking great. This is one of a handful of people that I have truly became friends with and my heart is so filled with joy that she got her bfp. Still early in pregnancy, but please stop by and give her a HUGE congrats!!!!

So in my TTC news, I have notta! Today is cd16 and still no positive ovuation strips. It was mentioned to me that my chemical last month could very well being playing a big part in this. Not sure if I will ovulate or not. Right now my biggest thing is getting to CD1 so we can start our iui's up again. I am going to ask my doctor if we can do femara with follistim this cycle. For some reason I think the femara helps with my chronic low progesterone levels, so I want to stay on it for as long as possible.

If you haven't, please check out my private facebook group for infertility and/or pregnancy after infertility. You can click on the top tab of this page and get the link! We are building up a great strong and supportive community.

Friday, January 11, 2013

Funny Infertility Friday

Happy Funny Infertility Friday everyone! I hope you have a great weekend planned. My husband and I are going to the boat and RV show at the fairgrounds this weekend. We love to camp so this is right up our alley.

Tooth wise I am still having problems eating, but just mainly sore every where now verses pain.


Thursday, January 10, 2013

No fun in tooth town

My title pretty well sums up my last few days. I will give you a little back history. I am scared of the dentist. I had a few bad experiences when I was younger (including a dry socket for 5 days with no pain meds) If any of you have ever experienced a dry socket you know the pain I am referring to. The dentist I was seeing at the time didn't believe in pain medication so he pulled my wisdom tooth and out the door I went. After two days of horrific pain I called and asked if it was normal. He told me to basically suck it up and take some Tylenol and this is suppose to work on pain of a dry socket. Finally after 5 days and seriously contemplating suicide. My aunt told me to go see her dentist. He said I had the worse case of dry socket he had seen in all his years of practice. He gave me some good pain medications and I had to go in three times to have the packing changed. Since that point I hate the dentist! I did breakdown last year and have a deep cleaning and they had to numb both sides of my mouth. It wasn't as bad as I expected. Well within the last few months I've had some pain in my upper back left tooth and finally had to break down and go. Long story short it was either a root canal or extraction. I wasn't paying $1700 out of pocket to have a root canal so I opted for the $135 extraction. Sitting here now wondering if that was the best idea. I will save you all the gory details, but lets say this experience wasn't to great. I still can't eat anything because it hurts unless I am on pain medications. That is a huge problem because they make me sleepy and I can't take them at work. I sat here yesterday in pain waiting for 5 o clock so I could go home and take my pain meds and hopefully eat something. Today I thought it would be better, but its a no go.

I think that this cycle is pretty much over. I started taking Femara on cd4, but do to my tooth hurting so bad I was sick and only took it for (4) days. With all the pain medication etc. I have been on for last few weeks, I haven't taken any of my vitamins etc for the past week. I am in generally bad shape to make a good quality egg this month. Guess I should be happy we had to take a month off from iui or that would have been a couple hundred dollars wasted. 

Okay my whine fest is over for the minute. Hope everyone else is having a good week!


I broke down and took pain pill at work. This is should be interesting day

Tuesday, January 8, 2013


I figured while I was sitting at home waiting to go see the dentist today and get a tooth pulled, I would update on some emails between me and my clinic.

Last week I had emailed my clinic about the article that Dr. Braveman wrote in reference to positive ana test and the link between miscarriages. My doctor said he was not a strong believer in the fact of postive ana and miscarriages etc. When I read this email I was so beyond pissed. I emailed my RN at clinic and basically told her that Al and I both feel like Dr. H has given up on us and that is a horrible feeling. I didn't know where to go from here because if we quit treatment our chances of getting pregnant are even slimmer then now. I also went on to say that I am sick and tired of doctors dismissing studies etc. so easily without even trying treatment. I mean seriously what can it hurt? She emailed me back immediately and tried to tell me that Dr. H has not given up on us and is willing to implement some of the procotols I asked for (short term). She asked me to please give them another shot and wait until my next u/s to come in and speak with Dr. H. face to face. I hate this! I feel like we are stuck in between a rock and a hard place with him. There is another doctor in my clinic that I love and she is Dr. H's collegue. Would it be inappropiate of me to ask for her instead of mine? I feel as a woman she is more in tune to my needs and is so kind and amazing. She may not agree with the immune protocol either, but I feel that she would maybe work harder for me? With this being such a small clinic, would it create bad feelings etc? When one doctor is gone, the other does procedures, u/s etc. so I would still have to see and be treated by Dr. H. Such a hard place to be.

I have talked with my husband about getting a second opinion and possible treatment through another clinic here in Oklahoma City. Our insurance wouldn't cover appointments, bloodwork or u/s. That is a huge added expense on top of what we pay now. Since ivf is out of the question, I don't really see the point of a second opinion. I can't imagine any doctor saying to just stick with iui verses ivf. I just don't know.

Maybe it is our lack of wanting to change doctor that is keeping us in this position? I do have some hope with the possibility of seeing Dr. Kim later this year though. We only have this  year and possibly part of next year before we move on and move past having a child together. 

I just never thought almost (3) years later I would be here. Never.  I also think that being at this point (3) year later really makes it a realistic thought that it won't happen. It starts to settle in more with me and I think I am learning to accept this situation more daily. I am ashamed to admit, but my chemical pregnancies are getting easier to handle. My failed cycles aren't as painful. I don't think I will ever get excited about seeing a positive pregnancy test again. Or be excited after a positive beta. Please don't get me wrong, I am not bitter or even angry....... I am coming to the point of accepting what is. That doesn't mean I won't continue trying everything I can while we have the time, because I absolutely will.

Sunday, January 6, 2013

The little quilt that could......

As you all know, I started quilting about 5 months ago. As of today it has been a complete and totally failure on my part. I bought my first ever sewing machine and couldn't even read the directions without being confused. My husband help me put everything together and then I was out of the gates running. Over confident I started my first baby quilt for my quilting project. Well this Christmas I took my machine and quilt to my MIL's house so she could show me how to actually do the quilting and backing, plus binding. After being as nice and loving as possible she delivered the bad news to me. My first quilt was a complete mess (in my words, not hers). All the settings on my machine were wrong and my stitches were to loose and to long. I guess this quilt top that I did would have fell apart after a few washings. Well I can't make poor quaility quilts and send them out for a new baby! She gave me classes and I have all the settings on my machine fixed now. I have started quilt #2 and the topper is coming together, all the stitches are a nice even quarter inch seam. I am hoping to take a quilting class this month or next so I can learn how to actually do the quilting and binding since we weren't able to tackle that project with MIL this Christmas. I will go back and eventually redo quilt #1, but it has given me hell. I took this stupid thing apart three times! Now I am working on a cute little girls quilt for a fellow pregnant blogger. Thank goodness I have plenty of time to finish and get it out to her!!!

Her is a pic and also note that I have set up a tab with my quilting adventures!


Friday, January 4, 2013

Funny Infertility Friday

I have seriously been slacking on my Funny Infertility Friday with everything going on.

Thursday, January 3, 2013

My furbaby Pics

Just thought I would share my fur baby pics today :)
 These are the outside cats ( Irma and Chester) that we feed. Oh yeah and now a possum also.
 Al loves to cuddle with all the animals and almost all the animals love it EXCEPT lilly!
 Izzy scratching his back
Poor Boomer (chocolate lab) is injured from a fight with  our other dog Porter (not pictured). Max our kitty is keeping him company.

Max is either helping Boomer feel better or trying to get in on the warm fire action.

In case any of you are wondering. We have three large inside dogs and two inside cats, plus two outside cats and now a possum. My husband is NOT happy about the possum though. .He was going to shoot it with a bb gun the other night. I had to put my foot down and tell him he would do no such thing!  He was hungry and cold :(

Wednesday, January 2, 2013


For the last few days my brain has been working overtime. I don't know if I am at the point of grasping straws or what. Honestly I am tired of failed cycles, but I am really tired of being told that no one knows why. We have been tested for everything under the sun and according to my RE everything comes back within normal ranges. Well if everything were normal then I would be getting pregnant. After A LOT of research over the weekend I am really starting to think and/or convince myself that I do in fact have an underlying immune issue that is causing the chemical pregnancies.  As I have stated before I never got a solid diagnosis of Lupus but it has always been in the back of my mind. I had several of the markers, plus three positive ANA tests. I also had the inflammation in joints. I recently heard about two doctors in the U.S. that are Reproductive Immunologist and do believe and treat patients that are in my situation. I know that many RE's don't believe in this area of medicine and there aren't a lot of studies supporting this treatment.  Regardless what my doctor thinks, I am going to make an appointment and travel to Chicago. I think it would be totally irresponsible of me not to. I feel like I am at such a dead end right now and have no other place to go. What if I am right? Then I will get pregnant and be so happy that I decided to pursue this option. What if I am wrong? Then I haven't lost anything except more money. My husband doesn't want to set up the appointment until early summer so we can save money up for the trip and bloodwork etc. I would love to get in earlier then that, but totally understand where he is coming from. I also decided today that I am putting off my Lap surgery for a few months. I have the lab slip to be tested for MTHFR but doctor wants me to wait six weeks before I have the test done (due to my current miscarriage). From the stories I have read about this Doctor Kwak Kim, she is able to run test for specific titlers that other RE's will test and it comes back normal. Maybe I am crazy (I don't know anymore). 

So our plan is as follows:

I have to take this month off due to doctors instructions

Feb & March we will do iui with either Femara or Follistim

April or May surgery

June or July- Travel to Chicago for consultation and test with Dr. Kwak Kim.

****Plans are subject to change according to my crazy thought process for the day***