Thursday, January 31, 2013

Pee Sticks before Beta #3

I am literally shaking because I am so filled with anxiety about today's and possibly Saturdays beta/s. As most of you know I am generally a positive up beat person. Anyone new visiting my blog probably wouldn't think that and its okay. My last three chemical pregnancies all started out with great lines and rising betas and for some reason at 16DPO - 18DPO it bottoms out. Today is 16DPO and a very emotional day for me. One of two things will happen today, either my levels will rise and I go back in Saturday, or they have stopped rising. I think it is so hard for anyone to understand unless you have gone through multiple losses, and then you definitely get how scary and frustrating this can be. One thing I do know for sure, regardless of the results today or two days from now. I will keep going forward like I always do.  I won't lie though, I want this baby, I really do. The thought of having this baby makes my eyes fill up with tears. It is just so hard to think of that right now. I feel like right now I have to deal with what is in front of me, and today it is my levels rising. Sorry for rambling on, I haven't slept more then two hours a night for the last four nights and I am a complete emotional train wreck today.

Here are my tests as of this morning. Btw I made the mistake of asking my husband if they were darker. His response " they all look the same".. Great hunny! thanks for making my day even more stressful :)

I don't ever say this enough, but I want to thank all of you that have been with me through everything. I honestly don't know where I would be without your support. Seriously, thank you.

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