I will go ahead and warn you that this post is going to be long. If you can stick with it and read all the way through, I know that you can truly appreiciate it. Ok here we go........
I have to share a personal story with you guys in order for you to understand what im getting ready to tell you. Since I dont have permission, I will keep the other person anynomous.
Almost a year ago I met an amazing woman that was also struggling with infertility. She had a very hard time getting pregnant with her first child and even a harder time with her second. When we met she was attending the same RE office as me and trying to get pregnant with her second baby. After several failed attempts of iuis along with medication and over two years trying to concieve her second child, she was devastated. Of course I was just being introduced to the whole infertility thing and was postivie and excited and didnt really understand why so many other woman were stressed, bitter and angry. Well we started emailing each other as a means for support. Her husband was in the middle of changing jobs and they didnt have insurance so they took some time off from RE and she got pregnant. She is due in May and she deserves every bit of happiness. Well I thought since she was pregnant now and I was the angry bitter IFer, that our friendship might not keep growing, but it has. We share alot of personal feelings and she has stayed very supportive.
Here is where the story starts:
I shared with my friend that I had completely lost my faith. I felt God had completely given up on me and I have been struggling so hard. I explained to her that I am angry with God and I am done! She explained to me how she had also struggled, as so many of us have. Then asked if she could share a story with me. She made if very clear she wasnt preaching or pushing anything on me. I gladly accepted to hear her story. As I said she has struggled with both pregnancies. Her first one she was basically at the breaking point and had asked a very good friend of hers if it would be wrong to pray and ask God for a sign that he was listening to all her prayers about wanting to get pregnant. Her friend thought that was a good idea. She prayed and prayed. One day on her way home she broke down and cried and prayed to God for him to show her a sign. She said to me that she expected an obvious sign, such as a baby on a billboard etc. She was driving home on the same route she took everyday for years and noticed a picture of a school bus on a semi truck. She wondered to herself if that was the sign. It didnt seem like a obvious sign, but then she thought to herself that she had NEVER seen a bus on this stretch of road as long as she could remember and she traveled this road daily. She went home and prayed some more asking God if that was a sign that she would get pregnant. The next day on her way home she looked on the side of the highway and at a gas station was about 12 school buses. Well obviously she was completely shocked. She felt in her heart that God did send her a sign and answered her prayers. She was pregnant with her daughter 3 months later.
After she shared this story with me. I explained to her that I did believe her and I did think God had answered her prayers, but like I said be he wasnt with me anymore. That he had indeed given up on me.
Today on my way home from work (please keep in mind this is the exact same route that my friend drove because we do live pretty close together) Anyway back to my story.... Today I am in passenger seat and my husband is driving us home. I am on my phone checking facebook and then look up to see a school bus right beside us on the highway at 5:25 this evening. In the last few years since I have lived here, I have never seen a school bus on this stretch of road either. Tears came to my eyes and I thought of the story my friend shared with me. In total disbelieft I share the story with my husband and then asked him " Have you ever seen a school bus on this road?" His reply was " No and I was just getting ready to comment about that to you, but you started telling me this story" Ok I seriously have chills running down my spine right now. Could this have been a simple coincidence or is this an answered prayer for someone I thought completely abandoned me? Some of you may think this is all pretty crazy and it is, but I think my faith has been restored.
I wanted to add something to this. The sign I recieved yesterday, I dont believe it was a sign I will be pregnant soon. I think it was more of a sign saying, " I am here". God knows how far away I have been and how abandoned I felt by him. I really believe he told me yesterday he does hear me and he is here.
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