Rambling

Well I would be lieing if I said I wasnt a little nervous about tomorrow. If there is anyone out there that has good luck vodoo, please send it my way. Second attempt at my mock transfer is scheduled for 11 tomorrow. The procedure doesnt scare me, possible surgery doesnt scare me either. What does make me somewhat nervous is the fact that the real transfer wont go smoothly and I will bleed and cramp because my doctor cant get the cathedar through. Come up cervix and uterus, please work for Dr. H tomorrow and be well behaved ladies. I am still pretty much on down time waiting for stims to roll around. Today is day 14 of bcp and I still Lupron this Sunday. Step two! Even if I do have to have surgery, Dr. H said we will stay on plan for March 6th retrevial. No side effects from bcp still and that is awesome. Out of all of my medications I was most nervous about them. I remember my younger days and how sick I was from those mean little pills. Not sure what to expect from the Lupron. I know exactly what to expect from Menopur, we are old friends. Tomorrow my medications will be here and of course I have to post a pic of them. Kinda a right of passage, dont you think?


With retrevial getting closer I am getting more and more excited! Do I think it will work? Well I have a pretty good chance and I am feeling pretty confident. Am I prepared if it doesnt? Yes actually I am. The only thing I hope for if our fresh cycle fails is that we were able to get some frozen embabies for FET. I feel pretty confident that within our 4 cycles we will get pregnant. I know alot of you are thinking im crazy. To tell the truth, I cant be negative about this and worry about every single thing that could go wrong. It is way to stressful and it literally makes me sick to my stomach. My hope is I can take everyday with stride and keep moving forward. If I get a bfn, then I will deal with it at that time. If we get pregnant, then I will be happy and cherish everyday im pregnant and keep all those nasty thoughts of "what if" in the back of my head. Since this will be our first and last child together, I want to cherish every second of the journey.


I know a few of my blogger buddies have beta's today. I have been thinking of them and hoping for a happy, happy day. As for the rest of us getting ready for ivf, try to stay postive. I am beginning to believe that being postive is good for your soul :)