One package down! This Saturday will be my last bcp hopefully forever. As of today I have (3) weeks until retreival. Sitting here leading up till the big days, I keep thinking about everything I have done in preparation. I can honestly say I have prepared my 100% for this procedure. I wont look back and have any regrets of things I could have done better or more of because there isnt anything. I feel pretty confident about the stims. I know that during all of my iuis I had a pretty decent number of follies and the doctor said I responded wonderfully. Of course according to my doctor everything is perfect with me, great ovarian reserve, etc. We all know thats not the case or I probably would have been pregnant out of (4) injectable iuis. Do I think our first ivf is going to work? Honestly I dont know. I know its hard to guess right now without all the information in front of me. I do know one thing, I promised myself and it was even part of my New Years Resolution, I cant freak out about this step by step. I cant freak on number of follies, how many matured, fertilized, etc. etc. I know honestly in my heart that what is going to happpen is going to happen and there is nothing I can do to change that fact. So this time I will try my hardest to step out of my control freak nature and just go with it. I want to have a baby more than anything, but I cant lose my sanity in the process. I know that each one of us reacts differently being in this situation and I dont think that anyone is wrong nor right. At this point the only thing I can do is still hope for the best and prepare for the worst. Also I keep thinking that getting pregnant is all in the numbers and or odds. Ive had a few failed cycles so far within last two years so eventually I am going to get a positive :)
Oh on Lupron front, today has been much better. I can actually breathe and from what I understand, breathing is a pretty important part of life. I decided this morning that as long as I am breathing then this Lupron can kiss my butt because I have things to do!
To help pass some time, I started reading the Hunger Games and I have to admit that I really love this book. I already ordered #2 from Amazon yesterday. Now when I watch the movie I will have some sense of what is going on. I think next on my reading list is the Sookie Stackhouse series. I love True Blood. I have been told by a few people that the series didnt follow the books at all. That is the only reason I have waited to read them up until now. Finally I want to read the Game of Thrones series. Btw Game of Thrones 2nd Season premiers on April 1st! If any of you have good suggestion on some books, please let me know. For the most part I read almost anything besides those pukey love novels, please! I have barf building up in my throat thinking of Fabio with his girly hair blowing in the breeze.
Next big appointment is February 22nd. We go in for our baseline u/s and also blood testing for infectious diseases.
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