I know that everything im going through is probably, perfectly normal or I hope so. I am about 7 days from retreival and at times I do know this is happening, but the majority of the time its like a dream. Going through the process of getting prepped for ivf is unmistakeable, you know its really happening. Most of the time I know that I am going in next week to have this done but its like I dont truly accept it. Does that make any sense at all? This morning driving to work I thought " im going through all of this and its very possible to get my AF within a week after transfer" you know? All of this time and preparation and it could be just like another cycle. Please dont get my wrong, I am not being negative about this at all. Its just hard for me to swallow the fact of getting pregnant after many failed attempts and 2plus years of trying. I guess I am used to the fact of things not working. I have almost accepted that fact? Then my next thought is...... so far things are going picture perfect in this cycle. I heard so many stories about woman bleeding on bcp, not me. I am responding very well to stims and have been told I have at least 29 follicles at my baseline. I have been to this rodeo and I know that it doesnt always end well. Maybe the fear is finally setting in about failure, idk. My one hope is that we are at least able to have embryos to freeze. In a way its almost like a safety net of some type for me. Im just really nervous, excited, scared, and hopeful.
Ok im done. Thanks for listening. Im sure this is very common among woman going through ivf. I will update tomorrow on my u/s and E2 levels. I have acupuncture twice this week also and day before retreival. I have to say that the money I have spent on acupuncture is well worth it! If not anything else, it has really helped my anxiety levels.
Update: I went to the bathroom and looked at my stomach. I have bruises all over! Ok yes I might be a little weird, but I am excited! Almost another right of passage with ivf patients :)
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