Thursday, February 23, 2012

Back Up Plan

Last night driving home I looked at my husband and decided to make sure we were on the same page. He doesnt say alot about our upcoming ivf. Of course I talk about it all the time throughout the day. I have my blog, on facebook I am involved with Attain and Resolve and I also know a person or two in real life struggling. So I can honestly say that I am very involved daily in my infertility and treatment course. So last night I wanted to really get a feel for where my husband is at on this. He is still leaning towards transferring one embyro the first go around and if that doesnt work then transfer two on the second. I was on a similar page with him, but now im not so sure for the following reasons.

1. If we dont get any frozen embyros that means another fresh cycle and I would perfer not to be on Lupron until hell freezes over (if I have a choice)
2. From all the reseach and blog following I have done, you seem to have a better chance with two, even if one is the textbook perfect embryo.
3. If at all possible I would love to only do one cycle of ivf and be able to achieve pregnancy ( I also know the odds of 1st cycle being successful)

Now with all that being said (see #3) I am a complete realist and I know the odds of our first cycle working. I wanted to prepare my husband for the fact that we may not get frozen embryos, that is is the in most cases the "exception to rule" so with that being said we may only have two fresh cycles. On our Attain Multi-Cycle we paid for (2) fresh and (2) frozen. I am truly hoping that we can at least get (1) frozen cycle out of this. I know many people are probably thinking that I should just concentrate on this first ivf and not worry about anything after that. Let me make it clear that I am planning, I am a planner and I want to make sure everything is in place.

I also discussed with my husband last night that it is a possibility that none of the cycles work. At this point we need to realize that our journey is over. We have talked extensively about adoption and it is not for us. So we need to also prepare for the fact that if this doesnt work we have to move on with our lives (as hard as that will be). By the time we get ivf paid off it will be to late to start all over again. I hope and pray this wont be an option for us in the end. With that being said I have to be realistic that it is possible.

Strangly enough I am pretty calm at this point. Actually so much better then I thought I would be at this point. I have thought about all of the possibilites going into this and dont think that I will be caught off guard through this process like I was with our iuis. I have learned so much since that point. If I had anything to do over again, I would have skipped right passed iui and went to ivf. Lesson learned on that one :)

50 followers. Wow thank you ladies so much for all the love and support. I dont know where I would be without it.

* Before I forget, I know my titles for blogs are so lame but I am NOT a creative person at all :)

Oops forgot: Yes I know im all over the freaking place today, sorry. Last night I walk in my acunpuncture appointment. The first thing he always does at beginning is take my pulse. My pulse always runs really high usually 110 or so. Well last night it must have been through the roof and he asked what was going on. My reply was "Oklahoma politics and our new interstate" LOL so we had a nice long chat about Personhood Act. I almost feel like instead of "occupying wallstreet protestors" we need people at the capital fighting for rights to our uteruses! I am so passionate about this and in some ways that is really bad. I get very emotional and my blood pressure shoots through the roof. Now that the House is outnumbered 2/1 Rep over Dems, this law is a shoe in for Oklahoma and there is nothing I can do about it. I have never been so absolutely frustrated and angry in my entire life. Ok end of rant now.

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