Gosh I feel like I have totally been out of touch with everyone in my blog and infertility page. I can say with 100% confidence that I am starting to feel like my old self again. As much as I didn't want it to happen because I try to stay strong and be supportive to so many, this miscarriage totally devastated me. Much worse than I let on to anyone, even my husband. I had a huge hole in my heart and the depression was almost more than I could bare. As you know the doctor prescribed prozac and xanax. Honestly think that it made my depression even worst. I kept thinking that once a new cycle started I could start moving forward and feeling better. As you know, that took forever. Having this surgery completely renewed my spirit and faith on moving forward in my life. I look down at my incisions and it will always remind me of a new beginning after I hit rock bottom.
Guess what! Today I went back and started working on my quilt project again. This was something I have been so passionate about and totally lost all passion within the past few months. I knew that I had quilts promised to people and WOULD finish them, but my heart wasn't there. Today it came back. As I sewed, I smiled, I felt good, I was singing along with the radio and so proud of my work. The passion is back and this is something I am the most grateful for. I am even more grateful for this over my body moving on after miscarriage. I want to help as many people as I can in my life. This is my way of reaching out and this is my way to show woman who have suffered through infertility that there is always hope! What a truly amazing feeling. There aren't even words to describe how absolutely grateful I will be to have my groove back.
I went out yesterday against "husband orders" of relaxing and planted flowers in my flower beds. I also mowed half of the yard. I did get in trouble for that. Of course my husband knows I do what I want when I want. He was working on replacing a hot water heater all day along with faucets in the house and that was a huge job for him. I wanted to help out, but mainly I love how good our huge yard looks when it is freshly mowed!
Cierra had her first 6 hour driving class on Saturday. She came home and told me they watched the film " Red Asphalt" not sure if any of you ever had the viewing pleasure of watching that video, but it is filled with blood and guts of real wrecks. Poor kid! I am glad she knows what can happen when you are driving though and can learn to be a responsible driver.
So here are some random pictures of weekend etc....... Hope you enjoy.
I also plan on getting caught up with blogs. So sorry I haven't commented much lately. It is hard to compose thoughts on pain medications.
Cierra helped me pick out flowers yesterday and then wanted to take Mom & Daughter picture for Mothers Day. I really love this girl!