Good bye 2012. I won't be sad to see you go. This year has been filled with a lot of heartache. Two failed ivf's, failed TI cycles and my failed iui just a week ago. I can't say this year has totally been horrible because I am healthy, married to the most amazing man ever and have a beautiful teenager daughter who is awesome (especially for being a teenager). For the most part my life is truly blessed.
I am looking forward to 2013.
For the past few days I have been really upset and feeling like my RE has just given up on me. Maybe he feels that I need more help then what he can offer me and is trying to do the best thing? I wish that CCRM was an option for us, but it just isn't. No matter what way we try to swing it, this just isn't an option. Donor Egg isn't an option at this point either. Due to our insurance and finacial responsibilites, we just don't have many options at this point. I am in the process of talking with a fellow blogger who is pregnant after years of trying. Her story is truly amazing. She seen Dr. Kwak Kim in Chicago who is an immunology RE. After change in her medications etc. and some time she is finally pregnant. I have hope due to the fact that she like me had many chemical pregnancies and was told she would most likely never concieve with her own egg. Well she did and seen a heartbeat this week. I spoke to my husband and we are going to try to get a consultation with Dr. Kwak Kim this year. At least she can work with my RE and get us possibly on a different regimen for treatment. I can't continue to do the same thing over and over. It is very obvious that even know our tests are all normal, we have an underlying issue with eggs or chromosonal abnormalites. I am going to talk with my RE this week and get tested for the MTHFR gene. We are also going to get a LAP done in January. I am going to take things upon myself and change my vitamin regimen. From what I understand, folate is very important with people who have immune issues. I have been taking aspirin for many months now. I have felt that the aspirin in part has allowed us to actually get as far as we have. My first ivf I didn't take aspirin and it was a bfn. All my other cycles I have and we are at least getting chemical pregnancies.
Lets see what 2013 holds in store for my family this year. At the very least, I hope for our health and happiness (with or without a baby).