Damn Spam Mail

After reading a fellow bloggers post about  her comments going to spam, on the way home from work I checked my spam folder. I have never even looked in that stupid thing since I sent up my blog over two years ago. There they all were, like the toys on Rudolph that were left on the island of misfit toys, well actually the folder of unread comments.

I am sorry ladies! About 97% of the comments came from anonymous bloggers and there were ALOT. Just wanted to let you know that I didn't purposely not post your comments all these months and years (oops). I honestly wasn't smart enough to figure out there could be comments in my spam folder.

I did read all of you comments and promise (scouts honor) from this day forward to be a better blogger and check the stupid spam folder.

Thanks for the patience with me.

BTW Jules, I found all of your comments that were lost :)

Thinking of Adult Only Future

Al and I have talked so much about moving forward without a baby, yet something keeps tugging at us. Cierra my daughter will be graduating high school in a few years and starting her own life. I always thought I would look forward to the day that she was independent with her life., now I don't want her to go. I have asked her repeatedly to move to Colorado with us in a few years. She could attend college there and get a little apartment close to us. The answer has remained the same, "she is not moving to Colorado no matter how much I bribe her". Al said I have to let go of the control and give her a chance to live her own life without me there all the time. He said it's a right of passage. I feel like it is there just to torture your parent.

Well it has been pretty close to three years without a baby made with love from Al and I. Yes we are going to continue with some treatments next year. We both that the chances of having a baby now is very slim. This decision was made by statistics of our age, unexplained infertility (no doctor ever knows how the hell to make that one work). Multiple failed cycles already. I think for the most part, we have both excepted this fact, but still choose to have a little hope.

Of course we both know that with Cierra leaving for college in few years and no babies, we have free range of our lives. There are so many places I want to travel and see. I would like to start in the U.S. first and then move to other countries. Here are the places on our list to see:

1. National Glacier Park
2. Yellowstone National Park
3. The Great Smoky National Park
4. The Keys in Florida
5. New York City during Christmas
6. Maine in the summer
7. Rocky Mountain National Park

International Travels:

1. Australia great barrier reef
2. Ireland
3. Sweden
4. Switzerland
5. Belize

That's all for right now.

I know that there is no comparison on having a child verses living an adult life and being able to do things that you have always wanted to. If I could choose, I would choose a child. I won't lie though, I am okay with the other lifestyle also. At a certain point here in the near future, Al and I will make the decision to stop treatment and move on. I know that in my heart. I also know that I will have my best friend and the man I love with every single inch of my heart to share it with. I will watch Cierra grow into a beautiful smart woman. So life isn't all bad. You always have to find some good in all the bad things that happen or you will go insane. 

The Long asked question (Again)

I know as a blogger who is suffering with infertility, that this question has been asked so many times. I think personally, I have touched on this subject at least three times.

IUI verses IVF

I know there are so many factor that play a huge part in successful treatment or failed treatment. When I went through my first four iui's and ended up with two chemical pregnancies, I swore I was done with it and moving on to something that would work. Out of my two fresh ivf's I ended up with a chemical or ectopic, hell I think my doctors are still confused on what happened.  So lets look at this:

IUI $2,500 (per Cycle)  ended in two chemical pregnancies

IVF #1&2 $25,000 ended in chemical pregnancy or ectopic

The only difference I see her is the cost of each treatment and the same outcome. I am worried about going through iui's again and failing. I do feel better at what we are getting for the cost though. Since this go around insurance  is paying for appointments, bloodwork, and ultrasound, plus I have medications (Follistim), it will cost about $400 per iui. I am really starting to feel more confident going backwards. I know that many people after failed ivf's continue forward with them. That is NOT an option for us. My iui cycle gave us up to a 25% chance verses ivf gave us anywhere from 38% -41%.

After all the research and stuffing money back like crazy. I think we will be able to swing about 6 more treatments of iui. All I need is one good egg, just one! I would love to hear stories again on anyone who got pregnant after failed ivf. This could be naturally, clomid, iui or any other means besides ivf.

Liebster Blog Award

As promised. I was nominated for the Liebster Blog Award from two of my awesome fellow bloggers! How does this work?  I answer a series of questions  from the person that nominated me , and then I have to nominate 11 others to continue on with the tradition. 

First one up. Amanda from Growing Griswalds!

1) If you were a pickle in a jar, where would you want to be and why?

LOL I sat here and thought about this question. I don't really know a good      answer for this. I guess I would like to be at the top of the jar so I would be picked first. No one wants to be overlooked.

2) What is your favorite holiday?

 My favorite holiday is without a doubt Halloween. I am addicted to scary movies and get to watch them all month long!

3) If you have a bucket list, what is the most ridiculous thing on it? 

I want to be a man and jump up and down to see what it feels like to have testicles.

4) If you could only watch one disney movie for the rest of your life, which one would it be and why?

The Little Mermaid. Since a child I was always fascinated with the ocean. 

5) What is your favorite nursery rhyme?

I don't really like any nursery rhymes. I find most of them very disturbing.

6) Do you have any pets? If no, why not?

We have (3) dogs, (2) inside cats (2) outside wild cats I feed and countless other creatures.

7) Is your current hair color your natural hair color?

Brown with reddish/blonde highlights and most grey (true story)

8) What do you like to do in your spare time?

I picked up crocheting and now trying quilting

9) If you could be any crayon color, which would you choose to be? 

 Definitely green, just plain ole green

10) What is the furthest you have been away from home and where was it?

Mexico 

11) How old were you when you got your first cell phone?

In my early 30's, now I can't live without the stupid thing 

I was also nominated from Kelbel at Tales From Our Yellow Brick Road. Here are her questions:

1) What is your favorite guilty pleasure song?

Definitely LMAO and Sexy and I know it!!!

2) Do you watch reality tv? What is your favorite reality tv show?

I absolutely hate reality tv.

3) If you could travel anywhere in the world where would you go?

Ireland.

4) What is your favorite dish to bring to a pot-luck meal?

This is a little embarrassing, but my husband does all the cooking. 

5) If you were a cupcake, what type would you be?

Lemon!

6) How many different places have you lived? Where?

Oklahoma and California

7) What is your favorite book?

I couldn't narrow it down to only one. I love the Twilight series and also A Child called It

8) What is your favorite time of year?

Fall. I love all the colors of fall 

9) What is your favorite breakfast food?

Bacon anything! Of course my heart would disagree

10) Do you have any tattoos or piercings?

I have four tattoos and one is currently being removed.

11) Do you believe in ghosts?

I don't, or aliens :) 

 this is where I switch it up some. I am not going to send this to 11 people. I think everyone on my follower list has been nominated already. I just wanted to let the ladies who nominated me know I appreciate them :)

Weekend Camping Trip

I couldn't have asked for a better weekend. On Saturday we hiked about five miles throughout the hills. I was hoping for some great photos, but that didn't happen. No fall colored leaves or pretty fall flowers. We did see LOTS of catcus and the overview of the lake was beautiful. We seen some deer and a few cougar prints in the dirt. Sunday morning was about 30 degrees when we got up and the steam was raising off the water on the lake, it was amazing. I did capture pictures of that! Here are some pictures of our trip. 

                                                           MY CAMPING JAMMIES!

                                             JUST FEELING GOOFY

                                             BRANDED R for RAPP IN FIRE WOOD

  Hope you enjoyed the pictures.

Sunday after we came back from camping, I took my daughter to the movies to watch Silent Hill Revelations. I was so excited about seeing it for months now. What a total disappointment.

First Appointment for Removal

Before :

After:

According to the lady, I will need anywhere from 5-12 treatments. I went ahead and decided against getting lido-cane to numb it up because I wanted to save money. She told me before treatment if feels like hot rubber bands being flicked on your skin. It felt worse. So happy I had this done and hopefully it will be gone within a few months. I have to wait 6 weeks until next treatment.

Funny Friday & Good bye Wild Thang

First things first. I decided to just go with the test results from yesterday (ugh).

Without further a due, its Funny Infertility Friday!

Sorry but this one made me crack up. Been there a few times :)

Okay on to serious business. Today at 3:30 I say goodbye to "Wild Thang". Most of you already know this, but I have a few new followers. Wild Thang is a god awful tattoo I got at the age of 16 by a guy who thought he was a tattoo artist. At 16 I loved anyone tattoo artist that was free. Here comes the saying " you get what you pay for" I loved is tattoo for the few hours that night I was drunk and have hated it for the next 21 years. What grown woman, mother, wife wants wild thang inked on her chest? I am sure none of us :) Although I did have some wild times, well lots of wild times in my past, I am ready to close that chapter of my life. I am going to post pictures of the whole process, hope you guys don't mind. I might get sick thinking about the cost of tattoo being zero to have done and costing me about $1500-$3000 to have it removed.

Here is picture of Wild Thang, as seen this way for the last time in my life!!!!

Hope all of you have a great weekend. We are off camping. Highs in 50's and lows in 30's, should be fun with a big nice fire! I  will take pics and post on Monday.

Please keep your fingers crossed for Leslie @ http://hormonacoaster.blogspot.com. She has reached beta day of her FET and after the loss of her precious son earlier this year.

Seriously?

Okay I can't hold my tongue on this one. Before I call my doctor office tomorrow and accuse them of mixing my blood up with someone else, I need your opinions:

Does this hcg strip look like it should have a level of 69.5?

I honestly think they are wrong on my blood work. And especially since it isn't being run in the clinics lab. Remember ever since I went to the ER they have run my blood through the hospital lab...

Is it just me? or do you also call b.s on this?

I was wrong.....

I assumed with the way all my test strips looked, that my hcg levels were almost zero. I really hate being wrong: My hcg 69.4 and progesterone is .9 so I haven't ovulated. I have to go back in two weeks on same day as my WTF is going on meeting with Dr. H. and see if they have hit zero.

As much as I want to cry and whine about this, I won't allow myself to do that. Here is rundown of my beta saga for last month or so.


9/5/2012- Beta #1 HCG 56, Progesterone 24
9/7/2012- Beta #2 HCG 148, Progesterone 32
9/11/2012-Beta #3 HCG 238 Its over
9/13/2012-Beta #4 HCG 294, Stop progesterone
9/19/2012- Beta #5  HCG 500, Possible Ectopic Pregnancy
9/20/2012- Beta #6  HCG 667, Went to E.R diagnosed with Ectopic and received a  methotrexate    
9/23/2012- Beta #7 HCG 871
9/26/2013- Beta #8 HCG 755
10/1/2012- Beta #9 HCG 479
10/8/2012- Beta #10 HCG 161
10/25/2012-Beta #11 HCG 69.5

Back to work.

Finished Blanket

Well everyone, I am very happy to announce that I finished my sister's ugly OSU (Oklahoma State University) crocheted blanket. There are not words to describe how many this makes me. First of all, I hate the color orange and specially OSU orange..... Then it reminded me of something a deer hunter should wear out in the woods so other hunters could see him :) I haven't given it to her yet, but I really hope she enjoys. Here are some pics and you might need sunglasses for the bright ass orange.

I will be so happy to see this bad boy go. OU fans do NOT make or keep OSU stuff in their homes. I should have been banned from the fun group for this, LOL


Next craft project, my new sewing machine that came in last night. Let me tell you I felt like a caveman trying to figure out a cell phone. I might have even scratching my head and underarms and started jumping around making noises. The directions don't even have words, only poorly done illustrations. Thankfully my husband jumped in, and my sister called us while on you tube trying to figure out the threading. Two hours later.... TADA a working sewing machine. I kept asking Al what all the dials and buttons were for? He replied "read the directions". Directions are so over-rated.

Here is my new totally confusing sewing machine...

Since I didn't have any fabric to practice on, I went in my drawer and got a pair of panties and cut them up, so I could sew them back together. Hmmmm unless I am into some kinky crotchless fetish I better just throw those bad boys away. I promise I will go buy some real fabric today :) I know the rest of my panties are probably scared shitless right now.

TTC NEWS:

My pee sticks were almost white over the weekend and I have my two week appointment for another beta, but I was sick. I went in yesterday and had my blood draw. I also asked if they could check my progesterone to see where I am at in this 2 month cycle. I also asked if hcg levels were low enough if they could give me something to induce my period. The silly nurse asked me "Have you not had a period"... my response "well that all depends, Ive been bleeding almost daily since before my original beta on the 9th. I guess a period could have been in there somewhere". She obviously didn't like my answer. So I will update if I find anything out today. Oh I did have my thyroid tested the other day through my pcp to see if it was effecting my anxiety. My levels for TSH came back at 1.510 (guess it says I am normal).

Poll

I would love for everyone that follows me to participate in this poll. It doesn't matter if you have went on to a successful pregnancy or still trying. With infertility there is so much negative things associated with it. We could all probably write our own novel on things it has taken from us. I want to know the opposite.

Suffering from infertility, what positive thing has you learned or experienced that you will carry with you throughout your life?


Here is my answer:

Before going through this struggle I was a completely different person. I was a little selfish, detached from feelings emotions and people. This struggle has made me realize that I have so much strength. I never thought I would make it through this, and I am. It has made me also realize that my husband is truly an amazing, strong man. He is my rock and our marriage is stronger everyday. I never thought I would have this in my life either. It has made me know sympathy for others. I can feel the pain of other woman going through this. So the positive thing that infertility has done for me..................

It has made me a better person.

And that is one thing I am thankful for today :) That is one thing that infertility gave me and did not take from me.

The Mixing Pot Monday

Today is my mixing pot Monday post. This is something new I am trying and consists of a dash of this and a dash of that. 

This weekend my MIL and FIL came down to visit us for the day. Al and his dad went to some car auction and I took his mom to the fabric store. I have decided to start quilting and so excited about it. I ordered my sewing machine last week. Never sewed in my life, this should be super interesting. My MIL has been quilting for years and was so helpful on showing me what I needed. Even better, she bought me my first rotary mat, cutter, thread, and a book for beginners. I have decided that I want to do baby quilts. I was asked by someone earlier in the week if that would be to hard on me emotionally, due to the fact we can't have children. My response was " not at all, in fact it might help me" Just because we are at this crossroads doesn't mean I have to turn into that stereotypical bitter infertile. Honestly, those people are starting to get on my last nerve. This statement may piss people off and that is okay with me. I do understand the emotions, I have went through them. But, for it to completely eat up your life day to day. Please don't misunderstand  this statement either. We all go through the phase of hurt, anger and bitterness. I am talking about when it continues and  you are taken over with it.  Other woman in the world are going to get pregnant, daily. Some will be teenagers, some will already have 8 kids and half of them in dhs custody, some will drink and smoke, and some will be people just like us that have fought to have a child. It happens... and I think it is healthier to accept that fact so we can have strength to fight our own battles. So anyway back to my point...... I am going to start making baby quilts. I have a few friends that are expecting and I really want to do this for them :) I might be the ugliest quilts ever and end up in the bottom of a closet, but that is okay too :)

Speaking of crafts, Cierra made a glitter pumpkin this weekend. I put it out in the flower bed with the rest of them. People were stopping and looking at our as I call it "disco ball" pumpkin. Pretty unique!

 
As some more good news, This girl (me) has lost about ten pounds since our failed ivf. I tried on a dress that I bought beginning summer and couldn't wear. Look at me go! So proud of myself.......

To wrap things up today. I was suppose to go in and have my 12th and last beta done, but I called in sick today and stayed home. My stick barely have a shadow of line so I know that my levels are low. Calling in wasn't a lie either. I was up ALL night with stupid insomnia, plus stomach issues. So I will just enjoy this day at home.

October ICLW

 Welcome ICLW'ers!


Just wanted to take a few minutes to say hello to any new people stopping by my page. As of right now, we aren't doing any treatment. My hcg levels just hit zero within the last few days. Please see the tabs above for all treatment up until this point. Next appointment is November 7th so see where everything went wrong (again). Then hopefully starting clomid for a few months until next year. We are getting back on the iui train due to finances. 


Hope everyone has a great weekend!

Change in Medications

Yesterday I spoke with my RE after getting a prescription for Paxil and heard back from them today. We all decided that Paxil is just to dangerous of a drug to be on while trying to get pregnant. So now I have a prescription for Vistaril and it is a class C which is somewhat better then the class D. Hoping it works.

No question is a ....

No question is a stupid question, right? I hope this holds true after I ask this one to the community. I have been peeing on sticks to make sure my levels are dropping. This morning my test is ALMOST blank for second line. I am guessing my levels are under 10 probably even closer to five. For the last two days my temps have been really low. Wed. 97.9, Thur. 97.5 and this morning 97.2. I have also noticed stringy cm. Although I am still spotting I could clearly see it is a different form then usual. Also I have been having twinges in left and right ovary for last few days. Of course my ovulation strip was near positive this morning due to a little hcg left, or is it positive because I am getting ready to ovulate? I talked to my RE's office yesterday and they said a woman can ovulate even with higher levels of hcg. Here is a pic of my ovulation strip and hcg.... I would really love some input here. 

I also received my awesome cozy warm socks from Jessica my sock exchange partner. Last night it was brisk outside and I sat in my chair with my fuzzies. I absolutely love them. Thanks Jessica!

And to wrap things up today............FUNNY INFERTILITY FRIDAY!!

There is finally a party in Tonisha Land today. HCG levels are down below 10 after  six long plus weeks! Woot Woot!!!

PCP Appointment UPDATED

I was finally able to get in to see my pcp after I had to reschedule due to our ectopic. I went in today and this was a new doctor. I explained all the years of anxiety and panic I have experienced. It seems like a life time that has be stolen away from me to be honest. My first massive panic attack was when I was 19 and had to be rushed to the hospital. One of the scariest moments of my life. All these years later and I still find myself in awkward situations that no one understands. You know the days you get out of bed so dizzy and lightheaded and your chest is hurting, you are always short of breath? You sit there and tell yourself that everything will be okay, that you aren't dying. You know this but yet your body and mind don't get it. I really am tired of living like this. For some reason when we went through fertility treatments, my anxiety let up a bunch. It could be because I was completely focused on other things. I don't know...... I do know that it is a back with a vengeance. Luckily my RE gave me a prescription for Ativan and Zofran while I was in the hospital for my ectopic. It has held me over till today's visit. Okay so back to my visit. We talked about the medications which I have used in the past. Mainly it consisted of Prozac along with either Xananx or Ativan.She also wanted to check my thyroid? I guess if you having thyroid issues, it can effect anxiety? Didn't know anything about that either. After talking about all the options, we decided on Paxil. Here is description of medication:

 Paroxetine tablets, suspension (liquid), and extended-release (long-acting) tablets are used to treat depression, panic disorder (sudden, unexpected attacks of extreme fear and worry about these attacks), and social anxiety disorder (extreme fear of interacting with others or performing in front of others that interferes with normal life). Paroxetine tablets and suspension are also used to treat obsessive-compulsive disorder (bothersome thoughts that won't go away and the need to perform certain actions over and over), generalized anxiety disorder (GAD; excessive worrying that is difficult to control), and post-traumatic stress disorder (disturbing psychological symptoms that develop after a frightening experience). Paroxetine extended-release tablets are also used to treat premenstrual dysphoric disorder (PMDD, physical and psychological symptoms that occur before the onset of the menstrual period each month). Paroxetine is in a class of medications called selective serotonin-reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs). It works by increasing the amount of serotonin, a natural substance in the brain that helps maintain mental balance.

I guess that Paxil deals more with the panic and anxiety verses Prozac is more depression. I am a little nervous to start this medication. It is a category D which is absolute NO NO with pregnancy. It is kinda laughable including its close to three years and no accidents have happened. Doubtful it will now. She also put me on Ativan in conjunction. She wants me to start seeing my psychiatrist so we can all be on board about medications. For any of you who aren't familar with the difference; psychiatrist now just help with medications and psychologist is the one who does all the talky feelings crap. Sorry I have had absolutely NO luck with either in my experiences.

 So to wrap this up, I am curious if any of my followers have been on Paxil before? I know there is quite a few of us in this community that suffer from anxiety and panic disorders. I would love to hear any feed back from you guys.


UPDATE: I talked to my RE's office later today and told them about the Paxil. It is a class D drug and none of us felt comfortable with that including we are still actively trying to get pregnant. I am waiting on a call back with other suggestions. Looks like I might be going back to prozac again.

Consultation and Future Plans

I will start with the most current. My hpt is still positive. Our nurse said she was impressed on how fast my levels were dropping. It doesn't seem fast to me at all. I have been bleeding almost daily since September 1st. My beta where I found out this wasn't viable was on September 11th and not to be a huge whine bag, I am So ready to be over this. When my levels hit zero, will I start AF again for new cycle? I am so confused on what should be happening right now. 

After I recieved a "good to go" from the RE, I started my new vitamin regimen and I guess it will take some time for my body to adjust. I have been feeling sick to my stomach. Guess taking that many vitamins will do that. 

We have our WTF went wrong appointment on November 7th. I am seriously thinking about asking my RE that exact question, WTF went wrong? Besides the fact my clinic made over $20,000 from us in a few short months. Here are some things he has touched on in the past, but never really went into depth or looked into future treatment:

•  During my original hsg two years ago it showed that the dye wasn't going through my right tube.   And of course my right side is a complete slacker on egg production. We talked about this at the time and he felt that with one tube opened it was fine. He also stated just because dye didn't go through doesn't mean the tube was blocked. The only way to confirm this was by doing a lap. He didn't suggest it then. At our appointment I want to revisit this issue and see if he would consider doing a lap and trying to clear the tube if blocked.

• Since treatment we had three chemical pregnancies and the last one even though it ended up  ectopic, we still don't know that it wasn't bad quality either. I want to discuss further testing on us to see if we are carriers of chromosomal issues. If you all remember last year I brought this question up during our iui's and they ran a few test that claimed to be the most important. Everything came back normal

• Lupus. Two years ago I went through extensive testing for Lupus due to abnormal ANA test (3 times) and issues I was having with joints etc. I wasn't given a primary diagnosis and she said it is such a hard disease to diagnose. She believed it was very possible I was in early stages and wanted me to check back in with her in few years. Its been a few years and I have noticed more symptoms. I  now almost always have the butterfly rash on my face and within the last few months I am having horrible pain in my left hip joint that never goes away

•   My husband had all the work up done on his sperm. He tested within normal ranges but on the low side with some morphology issues. I started him on a fertility blend vitamin for men.

• My eggs. I guess I will just come out and ask if my eggs are all shit. That seems to be a real possibility.  I will need to understand why we were able to do a 5 day transfer with (b) quality and then a 3 day with (b) quality. If my eggs are complete shit, wouldn't they be lower quality then a b? I know in school a b is pretty damn good!

Now on to the reason I am trying to get all these answers. I found out last month that our insurance will cover blood work and ultrasounds, plus appointments for iui's. The only thing we would have to pay for is the procedure and medications. Well I still have two full boxes of 900iu of Follistim we can use. So the procedures would cost about $400 out of pocket per procedure. We want to do 5 or 6 more, but only if my RE thinks it is even an option with all our failures to date. I know I said we were moving on and in a sense we are. We did come to the conclusion 100% no more ivfs. I know the success rate is so much higher for ivf verses iui. So is the cost financially, physically, and mentally.  We don't want to drain anymore of our money and put ourselves in huge debt for something with no guarantee.

So anyway this is where we are at. I am ashamed to say that I was going to keep all of this to myself and if we got pregnant, not share it until we felt things would work. I was so tired of disappointment. I was also tired of sharing disappointment with so many of you. The fact is, you are my support system and I need you guys, through the good and the bad. So with that being said, I decided to stay open with this community.

Rain/Sunshine/Theme Parks

 BTW the private setting didn't work or I am a complete idiot and can't work it. My post wouldn't show up on bloggers news feeds and some invited bloggers couldn't see it at all. For the current time I am back to pubic postings, UGH!







My husband took of last Thursday and Friday so we could go on our fall camping trip. It has been cancelled twice now due to rain. We were kinda bummed having to cancel again this weekend, but it turned out to be the best decision. Friday afternoon we decided to go to the casino and I won almost $400. Then Friday night and ALL day Saturday, it rained HARD. My backyard had a pond and the dogs were even scared to go out in it. The day before I sent my sheltie to the groomers (figures it rains afterwards). 

Everyone refers to poor Izzy as a "she" :) I just tell him that he is a handsome guy.

So Sunday we decided to buy some tickets to the local theme park and have a family day with me, Al, my daughter and then my sis, her husband, and two little girls. I'm sure you all know that I hate crowds and have severe anxiety around them. I took an Ativan before we went and about 3 o'clock I started losing my shit and thought it was time to go home. My husband suggested I take another. Good thing, because I lasted until 8 that night! I rode almost all of the rides and my four year old niece rode a hanging roller coaster! It did scare me to death. I couldn't even sit beside her because I thought she would fly out. I am still shaking my head about that! She is one brave little girl for sure. Here are some pics of our family fun Sunday.

                             (Cierra and my 8 year old niece Bailey)

                                 (My four year old niece Briley)

                                 (The girls on Tilt O Whirl) Dizzy

                            (Haha my husband on carousel)

                              (Spooky stuff all over park)

                              (My sis and Bailey on log ride)

                             (I really like this old coach wagon)

                              Taking a break to eat. Starting with my husband in yellow, my sis, niece, bro-in-law, niece, and my beautiful daughter.

Onto to some ttc news...... Oh, there is nothing to tell. I just wanted to get everyone excited. Levels still haven't hit zero yet. It's weird to think this has been going on for 7 weeks now. I do have faith that I will have a cycle again before I hit menopause. We are going to start on clomid with my next active cycle. I also have consultation with my RE on November 7th. I will fill you guys in more about that later.



 

Went Private

I think I was able to add everyone who requested to follow me over to the private side. This is my last public post. Here is what is said about following someone who went private:

 You can restrict your blog to only readers you choose. However, these readers will need to log in before reading your blog, adding an extra step.
We'll save your readers list for you, so you can switch back at any time. 

I also will have my first private post up shortly. Please let me know if you are not getting access. 

Thanks!

Fall Flower Garden

So I am a seriously cheap when it comes to decorations for the holidays.
I spent around $60 today for my flower beds, here is some pictures: 

 

Funny Infertility Friday!

A dash of this and a dash of that

The title basically sums of my post today. A dash of this and a dash of that. I went in this morning for beta #10. UPDATE came back at 161.

 I did POAS last night and there is still a second line, but I feel pretty confident we should be below 100 today. Also, I did a lot of research last week on vitamins/supplements and decided to start a new regimen which includes:

B6-200mg day
D3- 2000 twice day 
Prenatal x3 day (since I take the all natural ones)
COQ10- 200 x3 day
DHEA-25mg day
Aspirin-80mg day
Vitamin C- 500mg day
Royal Jelly-teaspoon day

I sent the list in with my nurse today so my RE could put his stamp of approval and add any others he sees fit.  I know there is not really any scientific proof on these supplements, but it can't hurt, so why not.

This weekend was pretty cold and felt damn good. We had our first fire of the year and all the animals in the Rapp zoo loved it! Here are a few pics: I didn't get pics of all the dogs and cats though.

                          Boomer yawning...

                        So relaxed he fell asleep

             Lilly sat there almost all weekend.


So we had some really happy pets!

I also worked on my sister's OSU (Oklahoma State University) blanket. For the record I can't STAND OSU, but a promise is a promise. I think it looks hideous. 

Finally, my husband decided to go out and mow on Sunday morning and it was 42 degrees outside! I must admit that our yard looks pretty amazing though :)

Guess that is about all for this post. It feels pretty weird just blogging about my usual everyday life and not pee sticks, injections, embryos etc. Still trying to get used to that one.