Beta #5 Day

I have been dreading today. I don't think my levels have dropped to zero and basically I am throwing my hands and feet up in the air having a five year old tantrum. Done with the blood test for this ivf, done. When we went in this morning there was a woman with her one year old son. Out of the years I have been with this RE, there have only been a few occasions that there were kids in the waiting room. Every time has been when I am getting either a negative beta or finding out that a cycle failed. Interesting how things happen, huh. As you all know I am in fact one bitter person right now, but is a RE's office really a place for kids? Can you not get a babysitter or daycare for them? Okay so back to my story. Sorry I am jumping all over the place this morning. We get in the room for the blood test and I tell the nurse to please write my husbands number on the folder and have the doctor call him with test results. She agreed and then made a comment about my vein and how torn up it is with all the blood I've been giving lately. Really? it is not by choice that I am coming in and donating blood. Well I thought this would be the perfect time to let her know this was my last blood deposit. She looked up and me and smiled and then said " well depending on your results, you might need to come back in". I looked at her and said, "this is the last time I am coming in for this. I am done with this cycle". Not sure what will be said to my husband, but I made it very clear to him that unless I have an ectopic pregnancy or am dying (sorry little insert of humor) then I would not be going back. I honestly haven't made up my mind whether I will ask my husband what the results were. I think at this point it doesn't really matter. It is time to shake it off, pick  up the pieces and move forward. I just want all of this to be behind us right now. Phase 1 done, next Phase 2- break time, much needed break time.

Here is a pic of my last blood draw for my failed cycles. Thought I needed to post this as closure.