Thursday, July 18, 2013

Downward Spiral

These last few weeks have been hell. I don't know of any other way to put it, but I am just not me. I have been filled with so much outward anger, irritability, and just plain pissed off 24/7. I am having problems at work because of trying to deal with co-workers and its not going well. Frankly, I am so fucking tired of being the person responsible for everything. Whenever a question is asked, guess who should automatically know or deal with even if it isn't in my department. As much as I loved this job in the past, it has many flaws also. Since we only have three, actually two employees plus one that comes to work every once in a while, there are no set guidelines at our job. We don't have anything in place for vacation or sick leave. We don't have any type of job manual for what is our job description and what isn't. There isn't anyone that is above another employee (even though some think so). This fills up my work time with many  problems. I was hired on as a Landman and executive assistant for my boss. I don't do accounting or never signed on for anything accounting based, so why is it that I should know other peoples jobs and they get a fucking hissy when I call them out and they have to do their own job? Well I could go on and on about my job right now, but I am sure no one really wants to hear about it. This attitude is also flowing over into my personal life. Al was driving us into work this morning and I wanted to slap the shit out of him because his driving sucks! It annoys to me to every end of my being!

See what I mean? I have so much negative energy going through me and I don't know what to do to stop it..............................

I really hope this gets better because I can't keep going on like this for much longer.

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