Monday, May 12, 2014

Final Chapter

As I said previously my best friend talked me into joining a roller derby team. I figured why not? Good exercise, get to take out aggressions and have fun. One of the first people we started talking to was Al. His derby name was O2D2 ( because he worked for an oxygen company). He was a ref for the team and very kind. I was not physically attracted to him, nor was he my type AT ALL, but a very sweet and friendly person. We started talking and really enjoyed each others company. Although my derby career ended almost as quickly as it started, I met my husband through it. I think a few months in I tore my ACL and was done. It was probably a good thing because I was a much better skater at the age of 12 verses 34. After a few months of seeing each other, Al asked me if I would be interested in dating him exclusively. I have to sit here and giggle because most men would not ask that question, in fact it would be the other way around.  He took my home for Christmas to meet his family. I couldn't believe how welcoming they all were. Here I was some girl from derby, tattooed up, smoker (at the time) and had a teenage daughter and they bought us Christmas presents and treated us like family from day one. I have always told Al from day one how lucky he is to have a loving family. His parents are still married and love each other, they have strong values and are truly amazing people. We dated a year before he asked me to marry him. For the first time in my life I knew this was the person I was meant to be with. I know it all sounds so cliche, but I really knew. We are complete opposites and that is what works for us. I told him about my family and the abuse growing up. I never wanted pity from him or anyone else though and he never did pity me or treat me any different. 

From the first few months of dating Al told me he wanted a family. He was very sure of this and wanted to make sure I felt the same way so we didn't waste each others time. I course I wanted more kids. My daughter was a teenagers and I had not been in a relationship worthy of bringing a child into this world until now. Al was very old fashioned and we did not live together until we were married. The day we were married, we were trying to start our family. I did go the OB for a normal check up and for the next six months we tried naturally, nothing. The OB started me on clomid and at this time I had already turned 35 so we decided to fast track to the RE. The rest of this story you guys already know. After four + years of treatment, losses, and heartbreak, we are now pregnant with twins due in November. 

Now I would like to get to the most important part of all these chapters. I have learned over the years that life is what you make of it, Nothing more nothing less. In a perfect world we would all have everything we wanted handed to us on a silver platter, but it doesn't work like that and unfortunately bad things happen and for some of us they happen more often. I have always had the choice to let my life events define me as a victim or a victor. I will never sit back and whine about why this stuff happened to me, because it did. I think the same goes with any obstacles in life whether it be diseases such as infertility, loss of family or job, etc. I am in some ways grateful that my life was this way, it has taught me so much in life and it has helped me become a stronger person then I ever could have imagined. I also know that there is ALWAYS someone out there with a life way worse then yours. I also have learned to be thankful for small blessings in my life. So I hope my story has helped at least one person following me to know that sometimes as bad as life seems, you have the control over how you handle it. 

Thanks for following along during this journey. I wish the best for every single one of my followers.


  1. What an amazing journey you have had and I am so happy that you came out on the other side as a gorgeous, strong and confident woman. You truly are an inspiration, when many that have walked in your shoes would not have the same outlook. Wishing you a lifetime of happiness!

  2. That last paragraph spoke to me. You're absolutely right: shit happens to all of us. What determines whether life is well lived isn't whether less shit happened, but how we deal with it. I've struggled with this a lot during the dark moments, particularly when those around me easily acquired what I was working my butt off for. But there have been so many good things that have come from failure and loss. Things that I would never have known if I hadn't survived those trials.

    Thank you for this powerful and wise message. And thank you for being such an amazing role model.

  3. It true that life is what we make of it, but luck, destiny is what gives a seal or permission for some things to happen. Your husband is one of the rare people these days. Having and being from a normal family is also rare. God was really merciful when he put you with the man and people who were completely the opposite of what you had been surrounded with. I am glad you have found your place under the sun:)

  4. A great story, thanks for sharing!

  5. You have an amazing story and I love how God sent you the one He meant for you and how He has blessed you after years of struggles with your beautiful hoppers. You really are blessed and I love the strength that you possess. You are so right - we can remain victims or we can come out victors. It is our choice. I'm so happy you chose to be a victor! HUGS!!