Wednesday, October 16, 2013

Huge blowup

Well there has been a huge blow out at the Rapp household and a night spent at a hotel and another night spent in the spare bedroom. Al and I have been married for three years and never, ever had such a huge fight. 

It was all over a dog.

I have blogged about the dog issues in our household several times. We have three dogs. Al rescued his dog Porter (pit & lab) from the streets of New Jersey about six or seven years ago. I have two dogs. Boomer who is a chocolate lab and Izzy who is a sheltie. Within the first few months of living together Porter first attacked my sheltie. Shortly after there were two fights between Porter and Boomer that I witnessed first hand. Porter was the aggressor and it was a bloody battle. I tried everything to separate them and nothing worked. Both of these dogs are about 90lbs. We contacted the vet in our area for ideas on how to stop the fighting. We also contacted the place where Al adopted Porter. We were told that Porter needs to be the alpha male and we should feed him first, let him out of crate first, everything needs to be done with him first. We tried, it failed.  He suffers from severe separation anxiety and just anxiety in general. If he is not near Al or I at all times he will start crying with this high pitch ear piercing screech. He won't go outside to the bathroom with crying. He uses the bathroom right in front of the steps because he doesn't want to get to far away. He has nipped at Cierra numerous times. When you open a door, watch out because he will take you out. Now Boomer is a young male and also wants to be top dog in the house. When we go away for a trip, I have been boarding Boomer because of the extensive damage Porter does to him while we are gone. I made this mistake and didn't board him this past weekend. I assume responsibility. When I came home Boomers ear was almost ripped off and he had a good amount of puncture wounds around his neck. I rushed him to the vet. He was able to get stitched up. Of course there wasn't shit wrong with Porter (as always). Well I knew it was going to happen. I posted on my facebook that Boomer was at the vet again because of a fight with Porter. I had comments that it is time for Porter to be put down. To say the least, Al was freaking furious. He said I didn't have anyway to prove that Porter started the fight. 

Does it really matter at this point who started the fight???? Track records shows who has been aggressor many times in the past. HE is a fighting dog! I don't care what anyone says about pit bulls. Once they are a fighting dog, they don't ever lose that instinct. I will argue this fact all day long as I see it first hand at my house. 

Anyway we screamed a lot and he said some pretty mean things about me "always" assuming about everything and he is tired of it. I yelled that I was tired of his fucking crazy ass dog. I left and went to hotel on Monday night. I received a text from Al asking if I was coming home yesterday. I did go home last night, but slept in the spare room. I can't even sit down and talk about this right now. It has been the ONE and ONLY sore spot in our marriage and I don't see a way out of this.

Option #1- We take Porter to the vet and have him put down.  Then Al has animosity toward me and toward Boomer.

Option #2- I find a home for Boomer and I have WILL have animosity toward Al and definitely toward Porter.

Option #3- We have Porter put down and find a good loving home for Boomer. We both have animosity.

Lose/Lose situation...........................

So another day goes on and a marriage on the rocks over a fucking dog.

9 comments:

  1. Porter has nipped at your daughter. In my mind there is no question what needs to be done. If Porter is this jealous now what happens when you and Al have a baby?

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    1. Problem is, I don't have the right to do what needs to be done. He is not my dog and my hands are tied.

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  2. I agree with Rebecca. If Porter has this aggression/jealousy you will never be able to relax with a new baby in the house. One quick move from that dog and you baby is scarred for life or worse, dead. Why not adopt Porter out to a family that doesn't have small children or other animals?

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    1. With his severe anxiety, no one wants him. The vet has recommended that he is put down. Regardless what happens, he would NEVER be allowed around a baby or small child. I have never trusted him and never will

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  3. I'm sorry. What a tough situation. Dogs scare me anyways. I know not all dogs are scary, but I've always had a fear since my mom almost lost her hand to a dog when I was a kid. It was pretty serious. I hope that you and Al can work through this and find a resolution that you can both live with.

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    1. I have a feeling that what always happens will happen again. He lets me cool off and then keeps Porter out of my way so I don't push the issue. Then months go by until another fight.

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  4. What an awful situation. Was Porter a fighting dog before Al found him? Because I have a putbull lab mix and she's amazing. She chases the cat but would never hurt him. I'm sorry you guys are dealing with this.

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    1. Yes he was and also beat and abused

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    2. So sad that someone would do that! Ugh. Sorry that this choice is now in front of you. If a stupid owner would have done their job before you guys wouldn't be here. Xoxo

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