This is a post I have been thinking about for a while. Over the years this subject has been brought up many times to me personally and in groups, blogs etc.
Is there a difference between woman who can get pregnant but have early miscarriages verses those who haven't seen two lines on a test?
This is a great question and I am sure if people want to be honest and admit their own feelings, some may say that what ever circumstance they have gone through might be the more painful of the two?
I remember the first positive pregnancy test I saw after about 13 years. I was about six months into this blog. I went into the bathroom that morning and peed on my stick.
I just looked back to my blog from December of 2011. I sit here now and smile. I said thank you to all my followers and was so over joyed. Did I think that this was going to end in a few days at the time? Honestly, no I didn't. I always though a positive pregnancy test meant you were having a baby. Of course a few days later my levels dropped and that started what has now been six miscarriages.
Do I think that "at least I can get pregnant"? Of course I thought that originally. I was so happy with the fact that I could in fact get pregnant and just needed to wait for that cycle where everything lined up.
I can tell you for a fact as someone who has been through this, after a certain point it is very hard to be optimistic that you can indeed "at least get a + pregnancy test". Does this make my pain any worst then a woman who has tried for years and never seen a +? I don't think it does. I think that both are truly painful and I think that they both are part of suffering through infertility.
It doesn't hurt me talking about this anymore. I have always been very open and honest with my feelings while going through this journey.
For all of you out there going through this pain. My hope is one day and one day soon you will get your miracle. I hope that all of us see a positive pregnancy test followed by great betas and a beautiful heartbeat, with a growing baby to hold in our arms at the end of the day.
I am so happy I was able to do this blog post today. It is a tough road, but we ALL have the strength to make it through anything that is put in front of us and prevail.