19 Weeks

Not sure I ever thought I would be here blogging about being 19 weeks pregnant and especially with twins. I had a bit of a scare last night. I couldn't find one of the babies heartbeat with the doppler. I searched and searched for over 30 minutes. Usually I can find them within a minute or two. Mentally I was freaking out, but decided to take a break and take a shower, plus drink a glass of ice water. About an hour or so later I found both heartbeats in the 160's and sounding beautiful. I guess I am still on edge when it comes to this pregnancy and I guess it will be like that until I have both my daughters in my arms. Although I have really improved on my stress levels as the pregnancy has progressed. I can promise that once you become pregnant the stress and worry doesn't just go away.

We took a huge step and ordered cribs this week. Al also put together the dresser for the nursery. We are missing a few pieces so that is on hold until they come in this week. The old rocking chair I had with Cierra just came back from being stripped and they are putting the new varnish on it. My MIL is working away on the curtains, bed skirts and cushion for rocking chair. I have a custom Esty order for the mobiles that should be here in a few weeks. The nursery in theory is coming along pretty well. I can't wait to get it all together and just sit in there and imagine the day when I am watching our girls in their cribs. I will post pictures when it is all finished. I already have the "before" pics. 

Today was my OB appointment and things are looking good. My bp is staying around 130/70. I did ask about my weight to ensure I am doing everything right for the girls. My first visit to the OB I weighed 190 and at today's appointment I was 204. He is very pleased with my weight and said I am doing a fantastic job. I know how important it is to gain weight for these babies and who am I kidding, I love to eat!!! 

I also heard back from Dr. Kim and she put me back on Lovenox. I never thought I would be so happy to have my bruised stomach back, but I am! It has been a few weeks since my last big bleed and "knock on wood" I think we are over the hump and things are going to start improving throughout this pregnancy. I know I had a rough start, but I am feeling pretty amazing now. Of course I have the usually bothersome pregnancy symptoms, but that is to be expected. I am also still doing my weekly IVIG treatments and found out two weeks ago that my deductible for the year was met so that is A LOT less stress about paying for the infusions. Dr. Kim hasn't given me a stop date for them yet. She believes my levels have stayed elevated because of all the bleeding throughout first and second trimester and now that the bleeding has stopped, hopefully my levels will become lower. I am totally fine with keeping on infusions because I know it is helping my girls and keeping this pregnancy going. Although I won't be upset when it is time to stop :) My arm looks like I am a shooting up junkie :) I guess I am a human plasma junkie :)

My baby shower is set up for August the 9th and I am more excited than I thought I would be. At first I didn't want a shower, but quickly realized we will take all the help we can get with two babies. I did make my sister promise no games and she agreed. I am pretty excited to see old friends and celebrate these two little beauties. Oh! another big day is JULY 30th, VIABILITY!!!!

I will update my bump in the bump tab above as soon as I get done stuffing my face with goodies.

Blogger Problems

Not sure if it is just me or this is happening to others using blogger. On my blog feed that shows the most current blogs, it is only showing one blog instead of all of them and only the most recent. I know that I am missing many posts from all of you, but I can not figure out how to fix this. Anyone else having this problem???

Level II U/S

I had to be at the MFM clinic bright and early this morning for our level II u/s. I was so nervous, but as most of you already guessed, both girls were healthy. My baby "A" was being stubborn and wouldn't move into a good position so they could get all the views of her heart. The doctor said he wasn't concerned and they will look again at my next visit in four weeks. Both girls are measuring 18w2d and both of them weigh exactly 8 ounces. The average weight for this age of gestation is 6 ounces, so they are a little ahead of the game and making their momma proud. He did want to do some additional blood work for sjougrens markers, if I test positive it could effect the babies hearts and will need closer monitoring, but as of now I am not concerned about that. All my bleeding has stopped for almost two weeks now, not even spotting. They couldn't see anymore of the blood clot so I should be able to start back on my lovenox soon. Both the MFM clinic and Dr. Kim want me on the blood thinners with having APS and I will feel so much better once I am back on it. 
 Here are pictures of the girls today:

 I will have appointments with my MFM clinic every 4 weeks until 32 weeks and then once a week. As of this point we are planning c-section for 37 weeks (which is October 29th). I could have my Halloween babies!!

I also talked some about my maternity leave yesterday. After crunching numbers and using vacation pay etc., I will have 10 weeks of full pay for my leave. My husband gets 3 weeks and hopefully will be staying home with the girls after I go back to work for a few weeks. I really hate the idea of childcare for them at such a young age. I think if we can swing it, we are going to find a nanny to watch the girls and I will feel much better with them being in our house verses a center. My husband gets to use the company's child care site for free. I plan on posting here in a few months.

I know I say this all the time, but I still can't believe I am pregnant and having twins after all we went through. I never thought this was going to happen for us. I really goes to show that you never know what will happen in your life. I am so blessed beyond words. I am also starting to get excited about having two babies, even though it took me a while to accept. I love my girls so much already. My girls.....

Five Weeks

I was called into my bosses office a little while ago and they told me that they would pay me for five weeks of maternity leave. I wanted to take ten weeks off after the girls were born, but that won't be an option now. I am disappointed, but I also know there are woman who don't get any paid leave. I asked if I could use my two week vacation pay and add to the time off so that will push me up to seven weeks.

I was never interested in being a stay at home mom, but I sure wanted to spend more time with the girls before putting them in child care so early in life. Well it just doesn't seem right to me. I sure wish us moms were able to take off a few months with our new babies.

Okay enough whining. I will pinch some serious pennies for next few months and hope the girls don't come to early.

It will all work out, right?

Big Week

Well it is finally here, the week of my level II scan. I have been anxiously awaiting this day since our NT scan at 12 weeks. I am nervous, very nervous. We will find out on Wednesday if the girls are healthy and if they have any chromosomal abnormalities. When we did the scan, it was only the scan and no blood work. According to my MFM, the blood work is not accurate with twins. I do know that different doctors have different opinions on this. I also know that with the blood work coming back okay, you get a lot larger odds of no problems. With us the odds of having down syndrome was 1/182 which I was okay with because that is less than a 1% chance. The scan looked good and measurements with totally within normal limits. Of course we have a much higher chance just because of age alone. Al and I will both be 39 when the babies are born this year. I think after this scan I can totally put my mind to rest and enjoy the rest of this pregnancy. I want to order the nursery furniture, but wanted to wait until we see how things are going. I keep thinking that if there were issues, you would think that they would have picked it up already since I have u/s at least twice a month. I know either way that there is nothing we can do. I think back and ask myself if it was a mistake not having the amino or the CVS done at 12 weeks. I just couldn't justify the risk of losing one or both babies at that point. We worked so hard to get them. I guess only time will tell.....

I hope my girls are healthy.

I did find out that the consignment shop I go to has 5 twin moms that she buys from and they all have girls! I have found many matching outfits! That is not something you expect to find at a consignment shop. I am stocking the girls up.

I also had a great online friend who struggled with infertility make these blankets for the girls!

 

Fathers Day

This is Al's first Fathers Day. I already had his gift made and gave it to him over two weeks ago. I am not one to wait for the actual holiday. Actually I am very impatient. This is such a special day for him and I am so happy that I was able to share this time with him. I don't think any of the Fathers Days after this will ever be as special as this first one. I could not ask for a better husband or father for my children. I never knew how good a marriage was truly suppose to be until Al. I never knew how good you were suppose to be treated. He treats me like a queen every single day and in return I treat him the same way.

Here is the gift I had made for him, this is first Fathers Day.

We or Me?

I just finished reading an article in US Weekly where Mila Kunis was on Jimmy Kimmel talking about her pregnancy with Ashton Kutcher. She went on to say how men shouldn't say "we are pregnant" because they don't have to go through birth and push something the size of a watermelon out their ladies parts. Well in all honesty comments like this really piss me off and I don't care who they come through. 

#1 Since the beginning of time we have all known that men can not labor a baby. So they shouldn't be able to share the pregnancy? It was half him that made your baby. It will be him taking care of you through pregnancy. My husband goes to the store on the drop of a dime to pick up whatever weird craving I am having. He rubs my back . He rubs my belly and talks to our girls. He cooks all of our meals. He cleans the house. Does this not earn him the right to say "we are pregnant?" 

#2 My husband went through FOUR years of infertility treatments, losses, needles, medications, surgeries, getting hopes up for a baby and then it being crushed when we lost the baby. Having to sit there as a husband and not be able to console me or make the pain go away. He worked his ass off to help contribute to the $40,000 in treatments. He went to all the doctors appointments with me over and over and over for years. 

MY HUSBAND HAS EARNED THE FREAKING RIGHT TO SAY "WE ARE PREGNANT"

End of rant.

Maybe all these woman that complain about their husbands and don't think they have any rights to claim in pregnancy shouldn't be married or should stop being selfish for one second and remember when they got married, they agreed to give and compromise.

Two

GIRLS!!!!

 After the u/s today we all went out to celebrate having two girls and came up with their offical names. 

Lilah Grace Rapp
Olivia June Rapp

Then my MIL helped me pick out fabric for the nursery. She  is going to make my curtains and cribs skirts.

And she also brought me two receiving "hopper" blankets!

 
Most importantly, I have two healthy babies and I will never ever take them for granted or this situation for granted. I will always know how blessed I am,

Tomorrow is the BIG day!

Well tomorrow is the big day and we find out genders of the babies (hoppers). As you know, earlier this week I went in for an u/s on my blood clot and asked the technician to look and see if we could get genders. Well she was 100% sure on hopper "A", but not totally sure on hopper "B". I didn't want to share on the blog because my husband still doesn't know the genders and I didn't want it to be ruined on facebook etc.... 

BUT....

She was pretty sure both hoppers were GIRLS :)

I will let you guys know tomorrow. Please anyone that knows me on facebook, don't say anything.

 

16 Weeks and MFM Appointment

Yesterday I had my MFM appointment. My SCH is finally shrinking and is down to 3 CM!!!! I hope with everything this means that bleeding daily is going to be a distant memory. Both of the babies are doing great and growing.

Hopper "A" had hb of 172 bpm
Hopper " B" had hb of 170 bpm

I was concerned about their heartbeats still being so high. I keep hearing they will drop and so far the heartbeats have always been consistent in 170's- low 180's. The doctor said there was no  arrhythmia and she was not concerned. I will have my level two u/s in two weeks to check on brain and heart development. This is a scary u/s for us because it will let us know for sure if there are any chromosomal issues since we decided against the invasive testing and blood work because it wasn't accurate with twins.

I also found out the genders yesterday at our visit. I asked her to take a little peek. I am not sharing the news yet because we have a gender u/s on Saturday with one of those places. Al didn't want to know and wanted to wait to find out along with his mom and dad, and my sister. So my lips are sealed, but I am so very happy!

I also discussed my 3 hour glucose test and asked about my 3 hour level being 32. At first she said there had to be some mistake with the blood work. I assured her that the way I felt, my sugar was definitely that low. During my next test she said to let them know if I started feeling bad and they would draw the last one early. She does believe that I will have more than  one abnormal level this next time. Guess I will just have to wait and see.

Here are pics of the Hoppers yesterday:

Hopper "A" being stubborn

 Hopper "B"

I welcome any gender guesses :)

Today marks 15w5d that I have successfully carried my two little hoppers. I am still freaked out when I think of having/raising twins. Although I am working on it daily, acceptance. I love them both so much already and yet some days it doesn't even seem real that I am pregnant with one let alone two babies. I think the only thing that keeps me somewhat sane is using my doppler daily and having that reassurance they are still with me. I go in to the MFM clinic tomorrow so they can check on the active blood clot and hopefully tell me all the bleeding I am having is the clot dissolving. 

I made a big step this weekend. While browsing at the consignment shop I found a double stroller with two car seats ( only slightly used) and four bases. I wouldn't usually buy used car seats, but the cost of only $75 for all of it, I couldn't pass it up. Since I will be driving babies 98% of time, I will get the new car seats and use these in Al's truck. We were going to buy two seats and four bases originally, but like I said, this was a great deal. They also have the side impact on them. Then I bought about 20 onesies. I was so nervous after this purchase. All I kept thinking is what if I lose the babies still? Maybe I should wait another few months to make these purchases. Of course my husband reminded me that so far everything has gone pretty smooth. I also looked online and the chance of miscarriage at 16 weeks is 0.6%. So after our gender u/s this weekend I am going to see if my MIL will make some curtains and bed skirts for the cribs. I am not going with a theme or doing much decorating. We will be looking for a new house in about a year so there is no sense of doing to much now. We are leaving the walls the same neutral color and I will put in wood blinds so the room can stay dark for sleeping etc. I also priced the nursery furniture and believe I can get it all for under $500. That includes the (2) mini cribs, (2) mattresses and (1) dresser. My hope is to put babies in cribs starting from day one. I am also wanting a pretty expensive monitor for their room and hoping to find it second hand somewhere. I don't plan on going overboard on buying stuff for them. Most of the things today you use for a few months and its done. I want to be realistic and also as frugal as possible. Knowing that our biggest expense is going to be daycare. I want to save money towards that. 

I did have to take my wedding ring off last week. I have also noticed that my ankles are also swelling. This is just a reminder that I am no longer a "spring chicken" and need to remember I can't do everything I did 17 years ago with my daughter. Luckily, Al does so much around the house. He does all the cooking and now does 90% of the chores. I am so spoiled and blessed to have such an attentive husband. He is going to be an amazing father! 

Here is my 15w3d bump pic: After cutting down on steroids my weight gain is So much more manageable. Of course gaining weight doesn't bother me. I think I am only up 23 lbs now. 19 lbs I gained within the first 7 weeks. 

You can't noticed by looking at the picture, but I am losing my hair bad! I have a few bald spots.