Saturday, April 5, 2014

Still Bleeding

Since my big bleed last Friday, I have been spotting on and off. It has always remained dark brown and usually only when I wipe. Today it was a little heavier and has left a few spots on my panty liner. Can I say how much I hate blood and pregnancy? Every single time I've had blood and pregnancy it has ended badly, every time. 

Does it make me feel better that my clinic keeps telling me that it is "completely normal" and " don't worry"? They have told me this a few times in the past so I don't rely to hard on " the reassuring phone calls". I was told that I have to wait until next Wednesday for my u/s. They want to see a week of full growth with the babies. 

Have I mentioned how much I hate waiting? Well I do. 

I remind myself daily of the great news so far. The great hcg levels, progesterone levels, growth of babies and heartbeats. There is no reason why they shouldn't be  growing daily and doing fine. I also fight the feelings that one or both aren't going to make it and this journey is over for us. No take home babies or babies after all these years of trying. 

Gosh this is so stressful..... 

4 more days until u/s. 

I did get a new symptom that started yesterday. Exhaustion. 

Sorry if I sound like
Debbie Downer, but I am so scared of this process.

11 comments:

  1. After everything you've been through, I'd be surprised if you weren't scared. Keep taking one step at a time and do not hesitate to insist on an earlier ultrasound. If your RE is being uncooperative, can you contact te new OB? Just do what you need to do.

    And know I'm thinking of you.

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  2. I am so sorry this is so scary for you. I know if I were to get pregnant that I would be scared too- blood and pregnancy is just too much stress to handle! Hopefully this gets easier for you. CONGRATULATIONS! :)

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  3. Your stress is completely understandable....especially given your history. I can't imagine! Just know that when you feel like a Debbie Downer, you have lots of people rooting for you and sending positive thoughts your way. Hang in there!!

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  4. I know it is so nerve wracking. I bled for the majority of the first trimester with the twins. Twin pregnancies tend to do that. You aren't being a downer...in fact you are always so positive. I'm sending you good thoughts to keep you going.

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  5. Don't worry. I'm sure all is good just the womb needs to clear from the embryo no 3. Also, lovenox tends to cause some bleeding.

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  6. I am so sorry you have to walk through this! I can only imagine what you must be feeling, and the fear of seeing any type of blood is sometimes just enough to keep us down. I am however, glad that it is brown, if that is anything to happy about, ha! Lots of prayers and hugs your way!

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  7. It is so stressful, I had bleeding with mine and it just added too much stress. So sorry that you can't just relax and enjoy your little Hoppers.

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  8. I am praying for you! You can do this xo

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  9. It really is emotionally draining :( hang in there...

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  10. So stressful for sure:( thinking lots about you! Stay strong little hoppers!

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