Wednesday, January 22, 2014

January ICLW

It has been a while since I fully participated in ICLW. I was getting ready to say here is a "quick" rundown of my ttc journey, but it will be a little bit of a longer rundown. Get some popcorn and a comfy seat :)

My husband and I are both 38. We have been married for almost four years and he doesn't have any children. I was previously married in my late teens/early 20's and had my one and only daughter. She is 16 and a junior in high school. Within the past four years we have been through every treatment that goes along with infertility. 6 IUI's, 2 IVF's, dozen of TI cycles with either clomid, femara. We have suffered through six miscarriages. Actually 5 chemical pregnancies and 1 miscarriage after a heartbeat was detected. 2 Hysteroscopy surgeries and 1 LAP surgery. As you can see, we have been pregnant many times, but my RE thought I had bad egg quality. Earlier this year we saved money and made a trip to Chicago to see a Reproductive Immunologist and she diagnosed with me PCOS, along with numerous inflammatory issues, blood clotting issues, and several mutated gene issues. She started me on a new medical protocol which consists of daily blood thinner shots, steroids, and other medications used to help the immune issues. I also recently started IVIG infusions which is an IV you get once a month and is made from about 1,000 different plasma donors. This is suppose to suppress my immune system and aid in implantation. We have been doing this for several months now. This February will be a year since my last pregnancy/loss. Here is the kicker though. My husband and I have been talking for years on when is the time we move on. We have both decided that the end of this year when we turn 39 will be our time. So the clock is ticking quickly. I think in my heart that this journey is almost over for us. I also know that I can't dwell on that fact because it will make me a miserable nasty person and I refuse to be that. 

So if you are just now finding my blog, you have found me in a transition period. We will continue doing IUI's until the end of the year. After that time, I am still not sure what will happen to this space or where to go. Definitely new doors opening along with new possibilities. 

Thanks for stopping by my little corner of the blog world. Please feel free to leave a message and I would love to stop by and visit you.

8 comments:

  1. Happy ICLW! Wishing you the best and hoping the new treatment protocols work for you!

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  2. Good luck on your journey to motherhood for a second time! Welcome back to ICLW! You're always welcome there!

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  3. Happy ICLW! Good luck on your journey this year, I hope you find success after everything you've been through!

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  4. Crazy, I actually just wrote a post today about knowing when it's time to say "enough" and move on. It sounds like you're finding peace with that decision, and I hope you do. Wishing you the best in this transition time.

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  5. I have 2 boxes of lovenox (generic enoxaparin) I'd be happy to mail to you. Let me know!

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    1. Liz that would be amazing!
      Could you email me? tonisharapp@yahoo.com

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  6. Hello from ICLW! I am on my last cycle before we take an extended break, so I know the feeling of time ticking down on you! I wish you strength for the rest of your journey, however it turns out.

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  7. I miss doing ICLW! But I'm still desperately trying to catch up with all the blogs I already follow. Tonisha, I hope that this year brings that take home baby for you, but if it doesn't, I know you will be okay. You are such a strong person and work so hard to stay positive and find the blessings in what you already have. I just hope for 2014 to bring you another blessing in a little one!

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