Wednesday, January 29, 2014

Seeing Humor Through The Struggle

Sitting in my RE's office triggered this post today. For me humor is very important. It helps keep me on point going through this struggle and without it I would be a very crappy person that no one would want to be around. You know those people that moan and complain about everything in the world?? Yeah that is the person I would be and if that were the case I would ask my husband to seriously divorce me :) So here are a few things that I have found humor in through this struggle:

1. The jar of condoms at the RE office. The thought of condoms and infertility always  makes me laugh. 
2. #1 leads me to #2. The dildo cam covered with a condom. Okay I know the reason for this action, but I still giggle because I always think " yeah the dildo needs to practice safe sex also.

#3 My RE has honestly seen my vagina more than ANY and ALL men I've ever had in my life. This includes the years of marriage with my husband.

#4 The whole conversation my doctor has with me while he is down south. Today he was talking about the Legislative Laws for the year and was interested to see what they would come up with. I could have this conversation over dinner, but it is a little hard when you are peaking at the top of your doctors head between your legs.

#5 Okay this one I don't know first hand, but my husband has told me about the "collection" room. Lets think about this one, if your clinic is making millions of dollars from infertile couples going through treatment, could you not at least put good porn in the collection room? No matter how hot a couple is, I don't think a lady with an afro and blue eye shadow is going to do it? Also a gallon jug of lotion? Couldn't you be a little more surprising and put a cute little bottle of heated ky jelly with a bow on it? Maybe a little mint for after they are done?? I think that would make happier husbands which in return would make happier sperm.

#6 While sitting in a waiting room and the nurse says out loud, "Did you bring your sample or do you need to collect here"? Well we all know that it is not a urine sample and then you have to giggle because you totally know what the poor guy is going to do. This is one thing I don't get involved in with my husband. He does all the dropping off/collection on his own.

#7 Okay so you had your procedure done and they tell you not to take a pregnancy test because it might not be accurate. How in the holy hell is it accurate for 100 million other people, but not for you?

#8 For anyone that has ever had ivf and did progesterone shots. Did your nurse take a permanent sharpie marker and draw a bulls eye on your ass? Well let me tell you how freaking sexy that one is! You can remind your husband that the bulls eye is ONLY for the progesterone shot!

#9 I won't even touch the whole point of trying to have sex while ttc.

#10 The names we come up with for the dildo cam. Our husbands seem to name their cars and we name a giant ass pole being stuck up our vaginas.

Just another day in Infertility Land.... I hope that I made at least one of you smile today. Laughter truly helps through the struggle.

20 comments:

  1. Haha these are great. And yes, we all need A LOT of humor to survive IF. My husband hasn't done a sperm analysis yet, and when I brought it up to him he kind of freaked out. He's a big germaphobe and the thought of wanking in a room where other guys have...not his thing. And the supplied porn really grosses him out. I'm just very thankful I'd never be asked to do that!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I totally don't blame him. After the initial sperm analysis, we live close enough to the clinic that my husband can take his sample in now.

      Delete
  2. LOVE it!! hahahhaha. So true on every point. And my husband said that the porn was horrible too so he just used his imagination. lol

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank goodness for smart phones and pictures :)

      Delete
  3. I hate when anyone talks to me while doing any kind of exam down there. It's like, just hurry up and be done so then we can chat. Imagine if that's what your husband did all day? I always called the dildo cam "Wanda". I'm glad she practices safe sex!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I said the exact same thing to my husband the other night. I also asked if doctors have a hang up about seeing vaginas all day and then going home to their wife?

      Delete
  4. You are hilarious! I love it!
    waitingforbabybird.com

    ReplyDelete
  5. LOL at number 5...M and I were just talking the other day about which poor nurse's job it is at the clinic to go out and purchase new porn mags for the collection rooms. Or does the clinic have a subscription to something? hmmm...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. If they do have a subscription, it is from a company as old as Hugh Hefner :)

      Delete
  6. LAUGHING. SO HARD!!!! Thank you :) I needed that.
    -Char
    http://www.lifesbettertogether.com/

    ReplyDelete
  7. You are too funny! I haven't had circles drawn on me... Kind of feel like I missed out on that one ;)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Go ahead and have your hubby do it and then you can mark it off the list :)

      Delete
  8. Haha!!! They called the collection room at my doc "the Oval Office". No joke it was on then door!!

    ReplyDelete
  9. Ha ha! Your number 7 really made me laugh. I was told "don't test until 16 days POST second ovidrel injects--so we're talking 23 days post IUI! Yeah right--I tested the second out BFN 12 dpo, BFP 15 dpo--the doctors office said "we've never had anyone admit they test their trigger away before" Ha ha.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I am seriously laughing so hard right now because I also test my trigger out and therefore know first hand that hpts are accurate :) I've never had a + blood test after a - hpt.

      Delete
  10. Such a great post!! Totally laghed at so many of those also! And yea thst always bugged me about the pregnancy tests also!!!! Never stopped us though:)

    ReplyDelete
  11. When we first started treatments, my husband thought he had the toughest job out of the whole process! Seriously, he wasn't joking.He really struggled giving his sample. I bought him a nice gift of a few porn magazines to help :) Even though he hated that part, he has since eaten his words about it being the toughest part! lol

    ReplyDelete