Decisions Made

My husband and I decided after talking with the Doctor at our clinic, that we are dropping out of the study. This decision wasnt made lightly, but it seems that its the only logical decision to make. We will start our new cycle next week. This cycle will include the menopur injections and this time we will have progesterone. It seems after many months of feeling hopeless and like I was wasting valuable time, now we are on track, on the right track.

We went ahead and pushed our IVF to Ferbruary. This allows us time to get at least 3 cycles of IUI with the correct medicines to give us a better chance.  I truly feel IVF is the way to go. The success rate is so much higher.

I have many blog buddies right now that are very early waiting on beta's, I  am cheering for you guys!

IUI #3 Again.....

I got more blood results from my RE this morning, The pregnancy was a false alarm (of course). In 11 days I will start injections again for the 2nd time this cycle. Back to square one....

#3 Cancelled Again!

I was scheduled for my 3rd iui today, that didnt happen. I went in and talked to the nurse about giving me something for nausea. For the past 10 days with these injections, ive been sick and horrible headaches. Since 14 days ago, I did have a positive pregnancy bloodtest at 16 but then dropped to 6, the doctor is questioning if I am pregnanct now. Not thinking on anyones part, they had me do a urine sample for pregnancy test, it came back postive. Then the iui was put on hold. After a lengthy dicussion, of course it was positive because I had HCG trigger yesterday. This puts us all in bad situation. The doctor doesnt want to perform the iui just in case I am pregnant. So I gave more blood today and will go back Saturday for more blood.

We will then determine where in the hell to go from here. So as of right now, I have two healthy eggs from 10 days of injections, an HCG trigger shot yesterday and on hold for IUI until next cycle. I think I will take things upon myself for next few days.

I really am trying to stay postive, but OMG my life has turned into a freaking roller coaster. Everything is so planned, nothing is spontaneous anymore. Trying to create life, almost sucks the life out of you.

Anyway, enough whining for today.

I will update Saturday.

Over sensitive? Maybe, Maybe Not

As most people already know, my husband and I are involved in a study for unexplained infertility. This includes (4) IUI's with injectable Menopur. We will be having our 3rd IUI this Thursday. My progesterone is way low and thats a big factor on why our IUI's are failing. We spoke with our RE last month about options from here on out. He said after our study is over that he would like to put us on clomid and progesterone along with IUI's. He also stated that he thought I would react very well to IVF since my ovarian reserve was so good.

Al and I talked about it and made the decision to get on the IVF waiting list since it was so far out (6 months). Until that time, we would pay for (2) IUI's out of pocket and see if that worked. I talked to the nurse this morning and she told me that we start our stimulation for IVF on/or around January 21st, 2012. This is a possible problem. Our last study IUI will end at beginning of December, which leaves us no time to try another round with the mediciations that doctor suggested.

My husband wants to prolong our IVF and try a few more rounds of IUI. This pissed me off for the fact that, I am the one that attends doctors office multiple times a week for blood, the horrible violating wand treatment, taking medications that cause my head to feel like its going to explode. etc. etc. IT SUCKS! Infertility treatment effing sucks!

So im thinking that IVF has a much larger success rate and im getting tired. I want to just do that? Ugh im not sure what to do.

A nice break

On the TTC front, I am on Day 8 on injections and only have two follicles. One is a 14 and one is a 16. I go back tomorrow to check again and looks like Thursday will be procedure day.

Bailey (right) and Briley (left) 

Im helping Bailey fish

Briley happy that Uncle Al (owl) brought her Nutella

Looking for wildlife

Canton Lake

Here are so pictures from our camping trip this past weekend. We spent time with our two nieces, my sister and brother in law. Had a great time and spent quaility time with the family.

Ugh Day

Today is day 5 of my menour injections. Just got done at doctors office and as of today, I have one follicle about 11 and one about 12. I am on injections 3 more days and checked again. I am having horrible headaches, or let me rephrase that, Ive had a continued headache since Monday, ugh. This is normal with the injections but I would like a small headache break :)

I was talking to the nurse today and she was apologizing for all the blood they have to draw through this AMIGOS study we are in. I told her its ok and that I signed up for it and will see it through. I am a little depressed today on the fact that this cycle is basically a "wasted " cycle. Since I cant get any progesterone being in this study, the chance of getting pregnant is "slim" but what can you do? Nothing, just keep trucking along.

Sprinkling baby dust out there for all my IF buddies :) Keep on trucking ladies :)

False Alarm

Doctor just called me and said my levels went back down. I am the talk of office this week, lol. The lady with weird periods. I am starting menopur tonight and getting ready for IUI #3...... They arent sure why my levels went up. This past month, I wasnt on any meds due to my cysts, who knows. Im going to keep trucking a long.

What?

Quick update. Went to doctor this morning to get ultrasound and bloodwork so I can get started on my treatments for IUI. Everything went good and looked good. He thinks I just started my period early. I left his office and they said they w ould call with my blood results and I could start injections tonight.

WRONG!

I got a call from  him this afternoon saying my pregnancy test came back postive and it was a 16 (whatever in that hell that means) he said it is very low but could possible by a very early pregnancy. Then he said that things with my case have been weird for past month or so and hes not sure what is going on. I have to go in Monday morning and take another test to see if it is rising or not. I have zero hope that if I am pregnant, it is a viable pregnancy. If my levels do go down then I can start injections for my next cycle on Monday night.

Crazy day. Oh then he asks if I have any questions and im like " ummm im having a full blown AF even though its a week early, how could I be pregnant"? He did say things like that happen. Let me say again, crazy!

Guess I will see what happens Monday. IF anyone has heard of this before, please let me know. I am starting to feel like the weirdo in a crowd.

What is going on here? ( Very woman sensitive post)

Ok so this is a very personal and probly TMI but I am at a loss. AF was on September 25th and I was told I had to take a month off until next round. I have been spotting on and off for over a week in a half now. This morning I woke up with AF cramps and guess what, yeah I think AF. Fun thing is, today is only day cd 20. I dont know if all these hormones ive been on have completely messed me up or what. I have a call in to the RE office. Maybe they will know what the heck is happening. Ugh.

Every time I think I have a handle on this whole situation of going through IF, I break down and lose it. I try so hard to keep my emotions in check. Against my will, I find myself getting upset at certain people that have babies, I am getting bitter and I dont want to be that person. I just dont know how to keep all my emotions on the positive side and keep moving along, Ugh.

What a freaking shitty day.

IVF VS. IUI

After all the blogs ive been reading lately, it almost seems like we should move on from IUI to IVF. Is there anyone out there that can share your story with me? How many cycles of IUI did you go through? Did you switch to IVF? I would really appreciate any feed back on this.

Still Hanging

I have about 1 1/2 weeks before we can go back to the Doc and hopefully start injections again! I've been passing time with reading blogs from couples that are going through similar experiences. Infertility is like a whole other world that I never knew existed. Once you are in the club, you realize how many people are in the same boat.

My wish is for all people struggling with this, I hope and pray that you get a healthy baby.

My sweet niece Brileys 3rd Birthday

Al and Conner (love this picture)

Niece Briley and nephew Conner

Uncle Al in the pit with kiddos

Look at that sweet smile

My two beautiful nieces

Briley fixing Uncle Al's hair

Am I a weirdo?

I can honestly say that I have never experienced all these emotions until we started trying to have a baby (WTH). Ive been really upset lately. I wont mention any names, but there are people close to my husband and I (family members and friends) they NEVER ask about our treatments or how we are doing. We have been trying to get pregnant for almost two years! It makes me feel like they just dont care what is going on with us, or they dont think its that big of a deal. News flash, it is a huge deal! I dont want to say anything and cause un-nessary drama, but jeez. This is something that I probly wont forget about and I know that sounds horrible, but thats how I feel.

Now on to the friends and families having babies. This is where I might be a little weird. I know and completely understand that this affects couples trying to concieve pretty hard. With me, its different. I love the fact that I can buy baby stuff and I love the fact that I can spend time with the kiddos and share my life with them. Although I want a baby so badly, I feel so blessed that I do have friends and families that welcome Al and I into their families :)

Well I have about 2 1/2 weeks (fingers crossed) and we can start treatments again. This next cycle (3rd) I have zero confidence it will take since my progesterone is so low and I cant take it with the study. With that being said I do have ALOT of confidence for the future. I know we will get there and have a baby, just working on LOTS of patiences.

I would love to hear suggestions from anyone struggling with infertility on how to deal with family members, friends etc. that completely ignore what you are going through. How do you change your attitude from being negative to postive?