Pour some more salt in the wound.

I called my doctors office this morning to see if I could go ahead and get this bloodwork over. I have sat home four days now, one minute seeing I was pregnant and the next minute bleeding and still showing im pregnant. Test going darker and lighter and darker and lighter. Well they wouldnt let me come in today and get this shit over with. I guess I am the only one who would like to be in some peace and not string this out any longer. Why couldnt this have been simple and just been a BFN like im used too? I mean I wouldnt wish this on my worse enemy and it seems as nature, god or whoever is suppose to be in control of things is just pulling those strings and laughing it up. I am beyond bitter at this point and not understanding why I couldnt go in one day fucking early and at least have a definite answer so I could start moving on. Ugh. That is pretty well sums everything up today. This has been the worse Christmas. I want the New Year to just get here already.