Wednesday, September 25, 2013

Follow Up with Dr. Kim

First of all, please excuse my absolute ignorance on the following. We spoke with Dr. Kim for well over an hour and it was a lot of information to take in. She is suppose to send me a summary of all my tests, but I will go ahead and tell you the things I do remember.
I have high and/or elevated Natural Killer Cells, T Helper 1 &2, ANA, Pie 1 gene mutation, Antiphospholipid Antibody , IGAA
There is no way that without treatment I can keep a pregnant. I was told by Dr. Kim that my chances of heart disease are 5 times more likely, and if we do get pregnant my chances of pre-clampsia and pre term labor also go up pretty drastically.
She has suggested the dreaded IVIG and I am waiting to see if my insurance covers this medication. It is about $3,000 per infusion and we would also have to fly to Chicago to have it done the first time.
Lovenox starting on cd6 through positive pregnancy test or period.
prednisone- starting after ovulation and not sure how long
Metanex- Prescription Folic Acid, b6, b12
Metformin- 500mg every other day and then 500mg twice a day
D3-1000mg daily
Fish oil
Vitamin E -400mg daily
Aspirin 81mg daily
Endometrium for 10 days after ovulation
She said that I am one of her more severe cases and recommends the IVIG. Without insurance coverage we just can't do it. Have a lot of thinking right now and need to decide where to go from here. I will share test results on my blog when I receive them from her.

I am definitely down in the dumps this afternoon. I need some time to process and make the best out of this situation. 

Thursday, September 19, 2013

Calgon

Do any of you remember Calgon take me away? Yes I am a 70's child :)



Tuesday, September 17, 2013

Good Day Gone Bad

Have you ever had a day start off good and then take a fast track down hill? This is my day today.

I've been having issues with my new implant. It has been very sore for weeks. Today when I was flossing after lunch, the floss was covered in blood. I called and they wanted me to come in. This was my xray:
As you can see, there is cement that was left in the gum and tooth area. My dentist said I should play the lottery because this usually only happens once, maybe twice a year. We started with floss and it hurt. They numbed me up with a short lasting anesthetic and it didn't work. He had to go ahead and numb me with the other stuff. Between all the digging spraying etc. it took over an  hour to get the cement loose from the tooth and remove it . Needless to say I am hurting like a &(*&(&*()$#*()& insert whatever nasty word you would like.

Better day tomorrow? I think so :)
Today is CD1. I called the clinic yesterday to get a prescription for Femara. My idea was to start it on CD3 and on my follow up consult with Dr. Kim, ask her whether we could actively try this month. Therefore I would feel completely prepared in case she said yes. On the way home last night I told me husband of what I thought was a completely brilliant idea that no one understood but me. I could totally tell in his face that he didn't think my idea was in fact that brilliant at all. He said he didn't want us to mess up anything and be put in the waiting stage even longer. The first thing I wanted to do was be defensive and try to prove that I knew better and was right. The thing is, I don't know better and I'm not right. I am just tired of this waiting game. Al is tired of waiting. We are so close now and I can't let my emotions over take common sense. The prescription is already called into the pharmacy. I will pick it up today and put it in the medicine cabinet until next month. I did come into work today and email Dr. Kim. I let her know that today is my CD1 and our follow up with her will be on CD8. I asked if we could actively try this month or if I needed to sit out again for another month. In my heart I know the answer already. I know that it is her job to give me the very best care with her knowledge and in the end it will pay off. So I am waiting for a response and I guess as of today I can start counting down to a new cycle with Femara/Follistim and IUI..... T minus around 28 days and counting!!

We are taking a much needed camping trip this weekend. It has been planned for a few months now. Unfortunately I found out on Sunday that my ex MIL only has a few days to live. She was diagnosed with colon cancer 3 months ago. She went through surgery to remove the cancer, but they found out it spread into her liver and other major organs. Sunday I took Cierra to the hospital and said my good-bye to her. Cierra wants to be with her grandmother until she passes, so tonight I am meeting her dad and she will be with them until early next week.  I have mixed feelings about all of this and feel guilty that we are going camping this weekend while she is with her dad waiting on her grandmother to pass. It is a very hard situation and I told Cierra if she needs me, I will be there in a flat second. I think they want to share this within her dad's family and use this time to reconnect with each other. So I am stepping back and seeing what happens. She packed some fingernail polish last night so she could paint her grandmothers finger nails. The one thing that does help me feel better, one of the family members of her grandmothers husband is a Army Chaplin and he has promised me that he will talk to Cierra extensively and help her while she is there.  Why do I feel like a bad mother? 

Better get to work and finish packing boxes for our move.


Friday, September 13, 2013

Funny Infertility Friday




Well my new lifestyle change is going amazing so far. Only two weeks in though and have a long road ahead of me.

The Body By Vi Shakes didn't work out. I couldn't get past the sweet nasty taste of them. Luckily I have a friend who is getting amazing results from them and she is going to take the shakes!

I have cut my carbs down by 90%. In the mornings I am eating two eggs (sometimes with cheese and other yummy toppings). I snack on raw veggies through the day at work and eat a nice lunch, usually a lettuce wrap with tuna or lunch meat and cheese. My dinners aren't really carb free, but I am eating in moderation and then going for a mile walk in evenings or bike rides. I am very happy to say that I have a already lost 8lbs. Seeing that weight come off is enough to keep me motivated. I also love that the weather will be turning cool so I can hopefully start walking longer distances and then maybe and that is a BIG maybe, try incorporating running? Yes this coming from a girl that has always said I would NEVER run unless a bear was chasing me :) I still have some time to process that whole idea. So instead of jumping on the diet craze of the month, my main goal is watching my food, moderation of food and exercise. I think I can be successful at this.

Goal weight is 150 lbs and I am at 172 lbs right now.


State Fair this weekend! I saw last night on the news that the fair had a cripsy creme hamburger. I was set that I was going to eat one this weekend and then changed my mind. Think I will stick with a turkey leg or something just a "little" healthier than a hamburger enclosed in two donuts :) now the Wisconsin fried jalapeno cheese is a totally different story!

Tuesday, September 10, 2013

Standing Still

Well I had my blood work finished yesterday and tomorrow is my thyroid u/s. We are currently on  hold from ttc until our follow consult with Dr. Kim on September 25th. I am really happy that we will have answers and also have the best possible treatment going forward, but I can't help but feeling down in the dumps right now. This whole year has been such a loss. Just itching to get back into treatments. I miss the shots, the pee sticks, the u/s etc. Yeah it does sound weird that I miss all of that, but to me, all of that meant we were actually doing something to get pregnant. 

You know, maybe it is the whole not having control that truly bothers me. I mean we have waited over 3 1/2 years to get pregnant. That has not really bothered me as much as doing nothing. Just keep reminding myself that it is only one more cycle that I'm out and then it is on like Donkey Kong!
I can do this, I can do this....................................

 

Friday, September 6, 2013

Making my body baby friendly & Funny Infertility Friday

I am sure most of you know how I feel about exercising and eating healthy. I come from a family full of morbidly obese people. Not sure how it happened but I was lucky enough to stay a consistent 115 lbs until the birth of my daughter. After that I only gained about 20 pounds and stayed at that weight for years. Four years ago when I quit smoking I put on another 10 pounds and was still under 150 for being 5'7 so I was okay with that number. Then we started fertility treatments and from there depression and now I am the biggest I have ever been. As of today I weigh right at 179 lbs and have a BMI of 28 which is Overweight = 25–29. After talking to Dr. K and discussing how PCOS and thyroid truly effects fertility, I have decided to get off my lazy ass and do something about this. I have let my body go down hill for years now and kept telling myself that I would get into shape after a baby. Well I don't have a crystal ball and have no idea when the baby part is coming, but I do know I can't keep gaining weight like I am. I feel horrible, not only physically, but I can't stand looking at my body in the mirror. I am beyond grossed out on what I see. Now going back to the fact that I come from an obese family, I know what fad diets and and exercise do. I don't want to jump into this fast and furious and then end up being burned out in no time. I have decided to start slow and steady. Yesterday was my first day of changes. I am cutting out as many carbs as possible. Mainly no bread, pop, rice, or chips. I am eating more raw veggies ( I actually love veggies). I also started walking last night. After dinner I went for a mile walk. It took my over 20 minutes, but I did it. The girl who always said she wouldn't run, walk etc. unless a bear was chasing me. Well there was no bear, only me taking pride and walking my mile. Now will I walk a mile daily? Right now my goal is to walk a mile 3 days a week. If I do more that is great, but my baseline is 3 days a week. I also decided to start body by vi shakes and will do those at least once a day for breakfast. I don't want to jump in to fast on that one either. If I feel okay then I will start having a shake for lunch also. It is just a matter of finding what works for me and trying to push myself and stay focused on the main goal. 

My goal is a baby friendly body....... So hopefully with diet, exercise, meds, and Dr. Kim's help I can go on to get pregnant within the next year.  I think that is definitely a reachable goal. So wish me luck everyone because this lady is going into the unknown!


Almost forgot Funny Infertility Friday!

 I know I have stood on my head more than once, LOL!

Thursday, September 5, 2013

Chicago Part 2

This post is going to be about our trip and sightseeing in Chicago. I took about 100 pictures while we were there. It is going to be very hard to narrow it down and not totally fill this blog with that many pictures. Before this appointment I never thought of Chicago as a city that I would be interested in visiting, ever. Boy did this place prove me wrong and I am so glad it did. Chicago has to be on my top three list of places I have visited now. To say it was absolutely an amazing city would be a total understatement. I plan on going back. I did find out there are a few things you absolutely have to do while there; visit The Sears Tower ( even though I am not from Chicago, I will no longer refer to it as the Willis Tower). Chicago totally got ripped off on that deal. It has always been the Sears Tower until  the Willis Company from London turned out to be the biggest owners in the building (owning biggest %). They wanted the building named after them. It really pissed me off that not only were they not from Chicago, they weren't even from the U.S. Total rip off and douche move ( in my opinion). The tower is absolutely amazing though: The first day we went, it was around 11:00 in the morning and the wait time was 3 1/2 hours to get in. So Al and I woke up very early on Monday morning (Labor Day) and were there right when it opened at 8:30. The wait was about 45 minutes. After going up to the top I realized that if necessary I would have waited three hours. WOW! You may ask, "Tonisha did you go out in the boxes off of the 103rd floor"?  Yes I did :) Scared shitless but felt so liberating after I did it. I was on a high all day after. Here are a few pictures from the Sears Tower..








Next we went on a river tour throughout the city and the canal of Lake Michigan:






Our visit to the Navy Pier:







Random pictures of Chicago:



State Park Beach:


Deep Dish Pizza!

We ended up eating at two different places, but only got a picture of the first.

This was our pizza from Giordano's downtown. We also had a wonderful pizza from Lou Malnatis north of Chicago.

So here was the majority of my pictures. Hope you guys enjoy them.

Wednesday, September 4, 2013

Chicago Part 1

I am back from Chicago. Let me first start off by saying, wow what an absolutely amazing and beautiful city! I will get to our actual sightseeing in another post. Today I want to stick with my appointment with Dr. KK.

When we first got there I had to have about 16 vials of blood drawn.  I was so nervous about making sure my bladder was full that I forgot I wasn't suppose to eat breakfast. Luckily the nurse was fantastic and told me it wasn't a big deal. The three test that I was able to get yesterday is mainly sugar levels, insulin etc. and I have a script to get them here this week. 

Our second appointment was the ultrasound. Let me tell you how amazing this machine was. Please forgive me if I don't get all the information 100% accurate, but I promise to get it very close. Anyone else who has seen Dr. KK could probably help me out with all this technical stuff. Here are some of the things found and discussed while having the ultrasound done:

  • I was on cd 17 and still haven't ovulated. I had one 14 mm follicle on my left ovary. 
  • She found many cysts on both ovaries and especially the left. I was asked how long has it been since I did a medicated cycle. My answer was over two months. Right away she asked if I had ever been diagnosed with PCOS. (If you remember I asked my RE last year and he said that there wasn't enough to diagnose me and if he did, it would be a "soft" diagnosis). Well she was 100% certain that I had PCOS. The amount of cyst they found on my ovaries should only be seen when you are having a medicated cycle for a larger amount of follicles. 
  • I was then asked about my thyroid. (If you remember my blood test came back within normal ranges). Well here is the problem with a "random" thyroid test, it is not accurate. 30% of woman who have a thyroid problem will test negative on the blood test. You need to have a scan of your thyroid to really know. So that was suggested by her at the time.
  • Good blood flow to both ovaries
  • Thin Endometrium lining. She told me that most doctors will measure the thickest part of your lining and therefore most patients have good numbers. Your lining goes from think to thick and thin again. Therefore you should measure and get an average on the lining. She said that some woman will have a polyp or something behind the lining making it seem to be thick, but in reality it is thick in a bad way instead of good. My lining yesterday was 8. This was " okay".
  • The blood flow to my uterus was very bad. On a scale of 1-5 with 5 being what they like to see, mine was a 2. (I will go into the effect of this later).
  • The actual new blood vessel development that is suppose to happen each month in the uterus to supply filtered blood for an embryo was also way under pare.

This is a wrap up of the ultrasound.

Next was the physical exam and questions by the Gyn before seeing Dr. KK.

  • She felt my thyroid and said it was bulky. Suggested a thyroid scan when we get home. 
  • Breast exam went fine
  • Basically asked me more questions about all the miscarriages, immune issue symptoms I have etc.
The consult with Dr. KK and let me say what a amazing woman she is. So kind and caring. She also knew her stuff!

She basically explained to me the three reasons for my miscarriages:
1.Underlying Immune Issues
2. Blood Flow Issues
3. Was Immune related with T-Cells etc.

She told me that the chances of a woman with multiple miscarriages having a genetic disorder that causes the wrong amount of chromosomes are MUCH lower then an average woman. That studies have shown the recurrent miscarriages are usually because one the listed above. She did explain that the PCOS is messing up my hormones and causing to much male hormones. The blood flow to my uterus is probably the biggest thing right now. Because of this, it will be merely impossible for implantation  or even supplying a growing embryo with the filtered blood needed to grow. So without medications, the chances are very low. She also went on to draw diagrams of how important the blood is to a embryo until the 20th week when they can start going without all the new blood of a mother. She also talked to my about the thyroid and told me to get my scan  as soon as possible here.  Basically that is all we know as of this point. We have a follow up phone consult with her on September 25th at 1:00pm. At this time she will give me my blood work results and create a plan from there. I was told that until we start on medications, she doesn't want us trying to get pregnant. As she feels it will result in another loss.

A lot of information and a lot of answers! Like I said, this woman is amazing and I would recommend her to anyone in our position with the miscarriages. Anyone who's doctor has given up on them. As much as this field of medicine is under scrutiny, it works for many people who couldn't get pregnant through other treatments. Oh and before I forget, we talked about ivf and Al and I didn't even need ivf. Dr. K told us that the main reason to go the ivf route is DOR, sperm issues, or for woman who can't ovulate and/or have no tubes. Otherwise it is a matter of finding out what the underlying problem is and treating it. 

I won't sit here and play the blame game. It has been years full of many emotions and treatments. I know that after our last miscarriage, my doctor knew there was nothing further he could do for us and therefore referred us out to CCRM. I researched and went with my heart knowing that ivf was not the route to take again and decided on a different approach. For me it was the right decision and I feel very confident that there will be a baby Rapp within the next year or so.