Good-Bye Blog world

Well everyone, the time has come to say good bye. This blog has been such a large part of my life for a few years now. Through infertility, treatments, pregnancy, heart surgery, etc. It is so hard to say good bye to this part of my life, but I can't manage the time to dedicate anymore. I know most of you follow me personally or the girls on their Facebook page, and some of you are members of our mommy group after infertility. I hope you will continue to keep up with me and the girls.

I also want to say thank you for all the support over the years. I still plan of following you ladies as much as possible. I know there are still some of you still in the trenches of infertility and I want to be supportive as possible for you and also be there when you share the good news of pregnancy.

Thank you so much for all the great years!

Moved

As of today at 3:30 pm, Al and I are no longer home owners. For the past four days we have moved all of our belongings from our tiny 1100 sq. foot home. Most of it went to storage and now we are moved in with my sister and family. Thank goodness the room we are in is big enough for our bed, two cribs, dresser, t.v and has a huge closet for all our work clothes. I think the girls might enjoy sleeping in the same room with mommy and daddy. I am trying to keep some kind of schedule for them, I know this whole transition is hard on us adults, it has to be even harder for the girls and  our animals. We are keeping their same schedule as far as naps, eating and sleeping. In the mornings we plan on keeping our same schedule also. Now we are living over an hour away from work each way and that is A LOT of driving for two babies and mommy. I broke down today and ordered a dual dvd player for them to watch Mickey Mouse Clubhouse while doing so much traveling during the week.

Please keep your fingers crossed that we find a house soon! I don't know how long I will be able to make this commute back and forth. I have to admit that the future excites me right now. We will hopefully have our new home before the holidays and it will be so special this year. The girls are turning one next month!

Party planning is going great and way overboard, like WAY WAY overboard... I really hopes it turns out as well in real life as it looks in my head. Have you ever see those pinterest fail pics? That is what I keep fearing this party will turn into, but either way my babies will love it and I will love seeing their happy faces and celebrating with close friends and family.

So here is to the next chapter of our lives............ Good by 238 N V Ave., El Reno.. This is the house I we lived in after being married and the house we brought our beautiful girls home to for their first year of life. We will miss you little house, but look forward to our future.

7 21 2015

So a lot has happened since my last house update. We found a house with the perfect location overlooking the lake and had 2,00-sq ft. It needed some updates and was being sold "AS IS". Our realtor suggested we do a 203k loan and get all the renovations done and added to our loan. We put in an offer at full price and 1/2 closing costs. The realtor for the seller is old and very grumpy. He automatically shut us down and said he wouldn't even take our offer to the seller because the house was being sold "AS IS" and would not qualify for an FHA loan. Our realtor tried to explain the 203k loan and he wasn't having any of it. This was on a Saturday. On Monday we had the mortgage broker call the old man and explain the loan to him. He came back and told our realtor that the sellers were wanting to agree to our offer, but he wasn't going to recommend they move forward with us unless we gave him our credit scores. My this time I was beyond pissed! I told Al there was no freaking way in hell I was giving this man my credit score. So we had our realtor write an amendment to our original offer stating what he was doing was not acceptable practice and we were not providing our credit score to him. No answer for another few days. Our realtor calls him back and asks if he received our response and of course he said no. He then says that he would be acceptable if we sent him two different approvals for above the listing price on the house. Well we were already accepted by three different lenders, so we did send the approval letters. He then states he never received an offer from us (almost a week later with no answers from first offer). Then hangs up on our realtor. Finally last Friday he said the sellers accepted our offer, but we had to pay our earnest money to him directly. We had until yesterday at 5 to respond. After talking and thinking all weekend, we walked away from a house we loved and had so much investment potential. We basically told him we were turning him into the real estate commission for not acceptable practice and we would not pay him a dime directly and then we walked away.

I am not sure about others who have sold and bought a home, but I handled the stress of infertility so much better than this crap.

Last week I ended up in the ER for what I believe to be the worst panic attack I've ever had. My whole body felt like it was on fire. I was nauseous, cramps, sweating, heart was racing at 150bpm. It was insane. They did do blood work and said my thyroid was abnormally high. I am waiting to get an appointment with my doctor, but they are booked up until mid August.

To top things off, poor Olivia is on her 3rd ear infection. She has been on two different antibiotics and it is still here, almost two weeks later. Her pediatrician called and they are referring her out to the ENT. I am just waiting to hear back from them.

Oh well this is life :) Wish I had a better update for you guys. Oh, I have been working on the girls 1st birthday party and I was so proud of myself, I made a Dum Dum centerpiece!

House and Baby Updates

In case I haven't mentioned this before, house hunting/selling is the biggest pain the ass process ever! Since I last posted, we lost two houses in one week that we had full price offers on. I am at a total loss here. I live in Oklahoma, not big popular "house hunters" cities that require paying above listed prices and going into bidding wars. I am talking about modest $150,000 homes here. What the hell? As of now, there is nothing on the market we are interested in. To make things worst, today is our home inspection. If things keep progressing on our house, we will need to be out by August 8th. At this point I am seriously hoping that our house doesn't appraise for their loan value so we can stay put and find better buyers. The couple who we are in a contract with now has ZERO cash reserve. They got an FHA loan that pays for down payment and we added all the closing cost to price of the house and they are financing that also. This pushes the price of our house up by several thousand dollars that it will need to appraise for. I am still at a loss why someone gets in to buying a home with absolutely no money saved? Al and I were going to make up for the appraisal if it was within a few thousand dollars, just so we could get out and get into a new place, but now we are rethinking that. I don't really want to spend our cash on buyers that can't afford it. Is that bad of me? I guess one step at a time and we will see how the inspection goes today.

Update on the girls:

Lilah Grace- Oh what a total blessing this little girl is. We had her cardiologist appointment on Monday and she was finally cleared to stop her last heart medication! Although she will never have a normal EKG because of her heart surgery, they said her heart is working perfectly after what she has been through. Her next appointment is in 8 months to check and see how her heart is doing without the medications and if all goes well, we will start having 2 year appointments! She will always be a heart baby and this is a condition she will live with for the rest of her life, and may require surgery in the future, but at least she will have a normal life and play sports etc. Tomorrow Lilah and Olivia turn 10 months old. Lilah is sitting and about to crawl. She is saying Mama, Dada, and Baba. She is now sleeping through the entire night and is such a happy baby. Always smiling and laughing. She loves Mickey Mouse Club House. She is eating baby foods. I haven't started her on table foods yet and probably won't for a while. Still no teeth, but getting close. She weighs 12lbs 4oz.
Here are a few pictures of my sweet Lilah Grace:

Olivia June- Oh Miss Olivia, where to I even begin? This girl keeps up on our toes at all times. She is a total momma's girl and is learn to give hugs and wet kisses :) Now when you walk past her, she will lift up her arms (hey pick me up). Sleep training has been an absolutely dream and both girls are sleeping throughout the whole night and taking their naps throughout the day. Olivia also loves to steal toys from her sister. She is sitting up and has been for a while. She is trying to crawl, she has two bottom teeth and eats baby food. I started some finger foods with her like, bananas, avacado, sweet potatoes, peas, and some carrots. She seems to like baby food better though. She weighs about 13lbs 9oz now.
Here are a few pictures of Miss Olivia June:

Here are some with both girls:

I am still planning their 1st birthday and it is coming together nicely. I can't wait for it to get here! I've been told by many people that I shouldn't be spending so much money on a birthday they won't ever remember. Well this birthday is for me and it is for the 1st year of my girls lives. It has been a long battle of heart surgeries and prematurity with long NICU stays and we are celebrating a huge milestone. It will be worth every.single.penny and more.

Still Here

I just wanted to give a quick update on the Rapp Family. We are busier than ever and it looks like a trend for the next few months. We finally received an offer on our house and as of  yesterday we are under contract. I am a little worried that our home won't appraise for the amount of their loan. They are a young couple with no cash on hand. Therefore we added closing costs into the price of the house. Al and I officially made an offer on a place yesterday also and are waiting to hear back. Oh did I mention that my oldest is getting her own place within the next few weeks? I am not exactly sure how this will all work, but within the next month we will be moving her, packing up our place for storage, closing on the other house, closing on our house, working full time, trying to figure out a place for our dogs  ( while we move and close ) and possibly living in our RV for two weeks.
Keep your fingers crossed that everything works out for us. I feel so thankful to be in this position right now.

This & That

I haven't done a "this & that" post in a while. In fact, I haven't really posted much lately. It seems that my blog is being neglected. I spend so much of my time in my mommy after infertility group that I don't have much time for blogging anymore. I really hate that because I have found over the years that blogging helped me through so much. It helped through the years of infertility, a difficult pregnancy, preemies and NICU time, and Lilah having her open heart surgery. It has been here with me for so much. 

Things going on in the Rapp household:

Yesterday the girls had their 9 month baby well check up. I was very pleased with their progress. Lilah is 12lbs and 26", Olivia is 13lbs 6 oz and 28". The doctor said both their heads are on the chart for normal term babies and that is the most important thing to have on the chart. With weight and height they are still below, but making their own curve and that is all that matters at this point. Both are developing great. Olivia is now sitting up and almost crawling. She has two bottom teeth that popped through. She is eating some table food like, avacado, sweet potatoes, bananas, and she loves these new organic teething biscuits: Healthy times organic maple teethers. Lilah has two teeth that are going to pop through on the top. She is sitting, but definitely is not steady. If she sneezes, she will fall over. She is also eating the same things are sister. Both are suffering with horrible runny noses, watery eyes etc., so the doctor put them on Zyrtec. 

 

Our house is back on the market again and we have started painting the outside in hopes it will get us an offer. I am really starting to get discouraged on this. I think we've had over 30 viewings and not one offer yet. I guess worst case scenerio, we wait until next year and pay more off and then sell it really cheap. Here is our new yellow color. I really hope it is not too much, but the hunter green had to go.

And finally, with the girls birthday only a few months away, I have decided on a theme........

CANDYLAND!

I told Al the other day that I am going crazy overboard for their first birthday. We will never have anymore babies and I want to remember certain milestones. I already started planning and ordering decorations, found a lady to make the cake etc. I might need to take a second mortgage out on the house , LOL. Here are a few things I am doing for their party:

Gumball pit!

Picture Post

Sorry I haven't really posted lately. Not much is going on besides work and babies. The girls have their 9 month check up next week and I will post about that. Lilah has her cardiology appointment on July 6th and hopefully will be taken off the remaining heart medication she is on. I will also update about that. Until then, I leave you will pictures:

8 1/2 Month Pics

We only have a few pictures back from the girls photo shoot:

We also had to end up taking our house off the market for a while because of all the flooding in Oklahoma. Our yard has been flooded for a few weeks now and it is obviously turning potential buyers away, saying we have a "obvious drainage issue" which really pisses me off. In one month we've had over 18 inches of rain, would wouldn't have a drainage issue? Hopefully we can put it back on the market in a month or so when things dry out some.

This & That Post

The biggest pain in my @ss is coming from selling/buying a home. I never knew what the process consisted of and to be honest, it sucks big time. Our house has been on the market about 10 days. As of today we've had 12+ showings and 3 of them are second showings on the house. Mother nature decided to show us the freaking flood that Noah obviously experienced. Our yard has basically been under water for two weeks now. We were able to get the camper out from the side of shop last night for Memorial weekend because the yard had dried up enough. Then like clock work a huge rain storm is moving in now and our yard will be underwater for the 5:00 pm showing today. I know that I can't change anything and the right buyer will come along and love our house regardless of Lake Rapp, but its been stressful. We are constantly hiding cats in rv, cleaning house, hiding baby toys daily, cleaning off counter tops etc. only to come home and get it back out. People have shown up at our house unexpected because of miscommunication with realtor and we are not getting 24 hour notice like we asked for. I can't tell a potential buyer no they can't look at the house though. Please let this house sell quickly and please let us find a new home quickly.... Mother nature please take your damn flood to states that are in a drought and could use 14 inches of rain in less that three weeks.

The girls are doing fantastic!  Olivia did get a double ear infection last week, but I consider us pretty fortunate that this was her first and they are almost 9 months old. She was so upset and not sleeping well for days leading up to her fever ( that should have been an indication), instead I thought she was teething. After being on antibiotics she is all better and back to her normal crazy self. I also took Lilah and had him check her so we didn't need to go back in a few days. I found out with twins, when one is sick, take the other also.
Olivia is weighing 13lbs 2 oz
Lilah is weighing 11lbs 4 oz 
My little peanuts are growing!

We also had their 8 month pictures done and the girls did such an amazing job!

Cierra is graduating on Friday and starting college in the fall. What happened to my first born daughter, where did time go??

Miss Lilah:

Miss Olivia:

It is official~

Our house is finally on the market~
Fingers crossed it sells quickly and we find a new place

Picture Post ( My Beautiful Life)

Loss

It was mentioned to me many times that when you have a miscarriage, at least you are getting pregnant and you should be happy about that. Today my heart hearts for someone I know who just found out she lost her pregnancy. I think the hurt cuts even deeper when you finally do get pregnant and lose your baby.

I was personally touched by 6 miscarriages. Only one of them did I ever see the baby and the heartbeat, but I do remember all of my losses.

What is?

I posted this question in my mommy group this morning. After all the amazing responses I thought I would post the question here also. I look forward to seeing your answers and hope everyone that follows me will participate.


What is one thing you want for your kids or want to do for your kids that you never had?

Reflections

It's not much, but I made a deal with myself on my personal facebook page that I wouldn't post any pictures of the girls all week and instead post something for infertility awareness daily. I know there is a huge misconception out there about infertility and if we help at least one person get the facts, we are helping with awareness and doing our job. It shouldn't all stop because some of us have went on to have children. Unfortunately I have seen so many woman that have a child and move on, forget their past, their journey and it makes me so sad. Yes I do post many pictures of the girls and our lives because it is part of who I am now, but I also went through a long journey to get them and learned so much. I met some pretty amazing woman, some crazy ones along the trip also. Within the past 5 years I have seen woman going through so many phases of their lives. I am happy to say that 90% of them have went on to have babies, whether through treatments, adoption, surrogacy, fostering, etc. I still think of the woman I know that are in the trenches wondering if it will ever be their turn. I can't say how things will turn out for them, but I truly hope with all my heart that every single woman fighting infertility will end up with a happy story regardless how it happens.

For us it took:

4 years

7 iui's

2 ivfs

6 miscarriages 

2 surgeries

A reproductive endocrinologist

A reproductive immunologist

50+ IVIG infusions

Countless medications

Lots of hope and putting one foot in front of the other

A very hard pregnancy

Premmature babies 

A daughter born with several heart issues

But now I look back and wouldn't change one single thing. All of this helped shaped me into the person I am today. It made me a better mother. I don't think I would have been as in tuned to my girls if we didn't have such a struggle and took having babies for granted. I know I wouldn't have.

We were 1 in 8.

 

NIAW

This was my post last year after suffering through infertility: I still think of our sisters and brothers in the trenches. Not a day goes by that I don't remember the pain Al and I went through.

"After fighting infertility for over four years straight, Al and I are expecting twins later in the Fall. I think it is very important for people to understand what we went through for to get to this point. During our four year struggle we went through 2 ivf’s, 7 iui’s, 6 miscarriages, 3 surgeries, and too many to count injections and medications. Finally last September we decided to go with an alternative treatment and see a Reproductive Immunologist in Chicago. She found that my body was attacking the embryos and I have several immune issues along with clotting factors. We started on daily blood thinner injections and steroids. I am also doing weekly plasma infusions to keep my body from attacking the babies. It all paid off after so many years of heartbreak. I hope that we are capable of giving these babies everything they need, but I know without a doubt they will be loved beyond measure. I will also NEVER forget our struggle or the others going through this daily.

Funny Friday

Hope everyone has a great weekend! We are still working on the few last repairs to list our house. There was a carpet incident and my aunt (just trying to help) ripped up more carpet than we were going to replace. This set us back a few weeks, but we are waiting for installation to be done next week and then the house is finally ready to list. It has been a complete "no go" on finding a house either, so I guess that is good.

Next week is our 5 year anniversary! We are taking the girls to my sisters house for the night and staying at a nice casino resort for the evening. Awww room service and sleep, what else could a girl ask for?

Daycare Fail

Today was suppose to be Lilah's first day at daycare and I couldn't do it. When I walked in with Olivia, everyone was excited and asked me where Lilah was. I just put my head down and said I needed another day. One.more.day.....

Look who turned 7 months on 4/10

 

Funny Friday

After a long break, Funny Friday has returned to my blog.

Not sure about anyone else, but my husband buys my tampons and any other embarrassing thing I sent him for Rock star in my eyes