Monday, July 2, 2012

This and That

Well I didn't make it to work today. The pain from this surgery hasn't been bad at all, it is the dizziness and vertigo that keeps me at home. I am feeling better today though so hopefully things will be back to normal by tomorrow and I can return to work. I have fully decided that I hate being put under and I'm not looking forward to going through that again so soon. The only positive thing that I keep telling myself is this is the last time. It's so hard to believe that it is almost time for my second ivf. Within the last two in half years, Al and I have went through so much. Surgeries, treatments, failed cycles, chemical pregnancies etc. I wonder when enough is enough? I wonder if I will be one of those lucky woman to finally get pregnant after years of trying? Our retrieval will be almost 2 years and 6 months to the date and it will also be on my birthday, so that has to be some kind of sign, right? As I said a few days ago after my surgery, I am starting to get hope for this cycle. I know it doesn't make any difference going into a new cycle being positive or negative as far as the success. I am hoping that going into this one being positive will just help me have peace of mind in general. I am tired of the stress, anxiety and depression that has been with me for almost six months now. I have also made a few changes in protocol since last time. After hearing from fellow bloggers and reading many articles about COQ10, I have implemented that into my daily diet for a few months now. I also bought a ivf cd that is suppose to help me relax and prepare. I also decided to start seeing my acupuncturist again. Many of you know how pissed I was with him after things last time. I have learned that it was no ones fault that it failed and we all have learned things since then to improve my chances.  One major decision I am changing on this cycle is, I am not sharing any of my ivf treatment on facebook this go around. I felt so stupid last time spilling everything out and then having to tell people it was unsuccessful was just way to much. Especially telling people who have no idea what it is like to suffer from infertility. I don't want to go through that again.  I am waiting today to hear back from my doctor. I will either stay on my birth control pills or stop for a week or so and go back on them. I should be getting my calendar pretty soon. I think the only medications I will need to buy this time is the menopur and lupron, so that helps our pockets a little. I also need to talk with my clinic and see how many test will need to be repeated.

Guess that is all I have today. Plan on watching some Baby Story and cleaning up the house a bit before I head back to work tomorrow. I hope everyone has a wonderful 4th of July!

Update: Just got call from my doctor and I get to go off my bcp for three days and then back on them until August. This is really starting again huh.

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