Nervous

I contacted my RE office on Wednesday and heard back from them yesterday. I guess my RE no longer works on Thursday and Friday so I will find out Monday what our game plan is. Yikes! I asked if we had time for one more clomid cycle but my RN doesnt think we will. I still need to get in and have the ridges removed off my uterus and then start bcp in preparation for stims on August 11th. I guess this is really happening. After our 1st one failed we had made the rash decision to wait 6 months before our next cycle. We had gone through 8 months of consistent treatment with no breaks and we were honestly drained in every sense of the word. Then one month went by and I was still okay with waiting. Then two and I started thinking "why did I make the decision to wait so long"? Honestly though I know we made the right decision and our mind frame is in a much better place now then in February.  This cycle could definitely not work and then again it could work. Al and I have already decided to go back to injectable iui's if it doesnt. That in itself makes me somewhat nervous but we will have so much follistim still left over after this cycle that we would save a significant amount of the procedure, so why not? I have been asked about going through a DE cycle and honestly that may still be an option on the table. After getting some information from a fellow blogger, I found out it was cheaper then I originally thought. I was under the impression you had to pay the same fresh ivf cost plus the additional cost of DE. I will be 37 in August and Al and I have decided after many hours of discussions that we will no longer try after the age of 40. So I still have some hope left, alot can happen in three years.

So wish my luck everyone that I get some good news on Monday! I also asked about all of the supplements, so hopefully the doctor will say okay, add or delete some. I found this stuff online called Ultra Green and its a powder that contains all of your dark leafy greens. I have no idea if it will make a difference or not but I know you are suppose to have a good deal of dark greens while going through ivf.

I hope all of you lovely ladies have a great weekend and enjoy time with your significant other and/or family and friends. I dont consider myself religious at all but I know that all of us are blessed in one way or another, we just may not see it all the time. I am blessed to have so many truly amazing people in my life and to be healthy. Sometimes I lose sight of the truly important things in my life and it takes a tragic moment to put it all back into perspective. I found out yesterday that a lady I used to work with died of cancer. When I worked with her and her husband they were very Christian people and prayed at work, told all of us to have a blessed day etc. She always smiled, always. I could never understand how a person could always be smiling. One day I looked out the window and she was driving up in the parking lot just smiling. No one in the car and she had a smile ear to ear. They truly annoyed me when I worked with them. Was it because I wasnt happy in my life? Probably. Well when I found out yesterday that she lost her battle to cancer, my heart truly hurt. She was a great person and I know she believed in God with all of her heart. It is no secret that I struggle with what little faith I had, but I know that wherever she is right now, she is smiling. RIP Karen Miler. I am sorry for taking the batteries out of your Christmas clock at work so it would quit playing stupid Christmas songs all day.