Progesterone Test

Well I had my progesterone test today to see if I ovulated this month..... figures crossed..

Feeling Blah

Well I finished my second cycle of Clomid and the side effects are much worse this go around. I have constant pain and cramps, hot flashes, painful intercourse.... ugh. I find out next Tuesday whether I ovulated or not (fingers crossed). All of this is worth having a little miracle bless our lives. Many people know that I am on the fence with religion, but I know if we get pregnant that someone ALOT bigger had a hand in it...

My doctor visit 3/16/2011

Al and I found a new doctor and she was wonderful.. She took the time and sat down with us so we could understand things better. At this point, we finally have a plan and that is exciting news. I have to take a test in two weeks to see if I ovulated with the Clomid I am on. I also have to go back next month and check the quality of my eggs and possibly have my tubes checked to make sure there isnt any blockage. I am on cycle 2 of Clomid and the side effects are blah..... I am broke out like a pre-teen again, my emotions are all over the chart, but I will do whatever it takes.  I know right now that my biggest fear is, my eggs are not good anymore since I have waited so long to get pregnant again. Right now I want to remain as postive as possible until we know for sure.

First Entry

I married the love of my life on April 24th 2010. I have a wonderful daughter from a previous marriage and she is 13. I thought for many years that having another baby was not in my life plan, until I met Al. We discussed having children and how important that was to us. So here is my thought as of April 24, 2010...... " this is really happening, we are going to get pregnant" which brings us to almost a year later. I suffer from severe anxiety which I think has played a major role in us not getting pregnant. At first I wasnt sure what was wrong with me. I went to my doctor and he referred me to Neurologist thinking it was neurophy, but I also tested postive twice on my ANA test. I was then referred to a Rhemotolgist thinking I might have Lupus or possible Sjogrens. This has been dragging on since last August with no definite answers of what is going on with me. All the doctors to agree that I have severe anxiety though which is effecting me in many ways.

Month after month goes by and I feel stupid in ways. My gyn tested myself and Al and said we are fine, maybe a little on low side of things, but not enough to worry about. I take ovulation test(s) monthly and they are ALWAYS negative. All that goes through my head, is what is wrong with me? Why cant I get pregnant? I feel like a complete failure as a wife, as a woman. I am so damn tired of hearing "relax and it will happen".

We have been on clomid for one cycle, but it causes my hormones to go crazy and then my anxiety is out of control. Next week I will see my new gyn for a second opinion. I hope and pray daily that this is the month we will concieve our precious baby.