The past four years have finally caught up with me. Today will be my last post for a while as I am taking a break from this space. I have worked on being positive and seeing the best in everything and I now realize that I was just being blinded to the facts of the situation.
CD9 U/S went horrible. Not only can we not do iui, we can't do TI and they won't give me a discount on ivf because I was over stimulated by my doctor. Here is what four days of 150 IU did to me:
At the very least I have 11 mature follicles as of today. I asked about the possibility of switching to an ivf cycle and was told they really prefer we start off with an ivf cycle and not switch last minute, but the would probably do it if it meant I wouldn't go home and have timed intercourse. The cost would be full price though. Is it just me being over emotional or do you feel like I should get a bit of a discount through my clinic? I have been with them over four years with multiple ivfs and iuis, not counting the TI cycles I have been through? He did put me on way to much meds and if he would have looked through my chart, he would have seen that? Do doctors make mistakes? Of course they do and it could be very possible I am just looking to blame someone for my anger. Regardless what if we had timed intercourse it would be totally irresponsible and it would be a decision based on emotion verses the facts. Neverless it fucking sucks! I am SO sick and tired of being told " I am sorry" from everyone and especially the doctors. I wish instead of staying sorry they would just fix the problem at hand.
Last Christmas we got pregnant and it was a loss a few days later.
sweet girl, i'm sorry.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry, and if I could fix it for you I would. You have been a big source of support for me so please know that I am here if you need to vent. Email me whatever anger and cussing you need to get out! Don't hold it inside.. I AM HERE FOR YOU FRIEND.
ReplyDeleteWe will be here for support if/when you decide to come back. I don't blame you for feeling the way you do, and you have every right to be frustrated, tired, and downright annoyed at their handling of it all. This journey can really take a toll, and if you need a break, then by all means take it!
ReplyDeleteI think breaks are good for the soul. I'm so sorry you are going through this. I know it feels like you keep getting answers then you are pulled down yet again. My best friend is going through the same thing you are right now, with canceled IUI'S or IVFs that got screwed up. It's so unfair, I truly hate the unfairness of it all. I hope you get some peace over this holiday, and can regroup soon. If you need to post just to bitch do it....just get it all off your chest!! I'll be thinking of you guys this holiday, and making wishes that something is going to give soon.
ReplyDeleteWhat crappy timing. I wish there was something anyone could do to make you feel better. Unfortunately, you're just going to need time to stew in your anger and then more time to get to a place of acceptance. Hugs to you, sweet friend.
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry. It's definitely not fair that they won't give you a discount on IVF... I hope your break brings you the peace you are looking for...
ReplyDeleteThat really sucks and I totally understand why you are angry. You would think they would have an idea of how to stim you at this point, but apparently not. When you come back I will be here to support you. It's impossible to be positive all the time, especially given the circumstances. You deserve to feel any emotion you want at this point.
ReplyDeleteSorry that you find all of this so difficult. I think you need a break from all of this. No one is to blame. Pointing fingers won't get you pregnant or solve this problem. I hope you are able to find peace and put this anger behind you.
ReplyDeleteWe'll miss you Toni. It really sucks that your doctors screwed up and won't help you out a bit. Take care of yourself, try to enjoy your holidays and we'll be here for you when you're ready.
ReplyDeleteSo sorry....I will miss reading your posts....take care
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry Toni. This sucks! Take the time you need and know that I'm here for you. Sending you lots of love my friend. xo
ReplyDeleteEveryone is entitled to a bad day and not thinking so positively sometimes. This would be your time. However, I also know that now that you know your E2 number, you are not completely out of this cycle! Crossing my fingers and really hope that all this trouble has been extra worth it!
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