Toni Rapp quilts are back!

As most of you remember, I took a break from my baby quilts a few months back. I was having a problem staying motivated and feeling stressed out that I couldn't sew fast enough to make special quilts for all the ladies who were pregnant after suffering through devastating infertility issues. I had packed up my sewing machine and all my fabric and had decided I was done. The last few weeks I was thinking more and more about my quilts and started to miss it. I realized I was quilting to keep up with everyone and make sure all the woman who were pregnant would receive one. Not because all of them don't deserve one, they do, but it is not feasible to think that can happen. Over the past weekend I got my machine and all my stuff out again and am ready to start quilting. I still have so much to learn and hopefully I will move past making 9 square basic quilts one day. For now I am happy with how they look and I know that each one will be made with love. 

Here is where I left off..........................

I had this topper done for a few months. I am going to finish it first.

 I was messing around with some of the fabric I have now and came up with this combination for a little boy quilt.

 Hoping I can use up the extra fabric I have laying around. They might not all match or color coordinate, but they will definitely be unique.

 It feels great to be back in the saddle for this. I loved  having a hobby that I enjoy and at the same time doing something nice for another person.


In TTC news:

Monday at 11:00 is my infusion. Friday night I spoke with the pharmacist that will be making the medication. He went over all the risks ( and there are some serious risks involved with this infusion). He scared the shit out of me and I went to bed last night thinking of excuses I could call with Monday morning and get out of this infusion. Then I woke up this morning and decided no matter how scared I am, I have no choice but to go forward. Al and I have come way to far to give up now. I am trying not to think about the actually infusion and enjoy my weekend. He did say I have to be very hydrated when I come in Monday. So I will start tomorrow morning. I am also going to start my steroids tomorrow morning. I was told that side effects are lessened if you are on steroids at the time of infusion. I will let you all know how it goes.

Funny Infertility Friday

I personally think she doesn't have enough :)

I just received a phone call from the Coram Center here in Oklahoma. My gammagard and actual infusions were covered by my insurance. There are no words to explain how blessed I feel right now.
Having my first infusion at 11:00 am on Monday.

This & That

Well I spoke with my insurance company yesterday, along with Dr. Kims office and the Coram Center. It still looks like we are in the running to get our IVIG covered and done in Oklahoma. I already knew the insurance would cover the $3,000 cost of medication for a $30 co-pay. We are now waiting to see if they will cover the infusion center. Dr. K office faxed back the last authorization form they required yesterday. Hoping to have a answer within the next week and really hoping for some good news. If we are covered, I will be able to get my first infusion before next cycle. I will need to talk to my boss about it and let him know that I will be missing some work. Not sure if I shared this or not, but during our company Christmas party a few weeks ago, my boss just proved once more on how fantastic he is. He asked Al and I how our fertility issues were going and wanted to know if we were still going through treatments etc. He also asked how things were going after seeing the specialist and then said he wants us to get pregnant this year because we are such a giving couple. He has seen all the pain I have gone through within the past few years and he hurts for us. To top things off, he said he would help however I needed it. This includes paid time off for treatments etc. Can you say wow? I really love my job.

Today is CD7 and I totally forgot to take my Femara last night. I didn't realize until I woke up this morning. I decided to go ahead and take my dose this morning and will take my last dose tomorrow morning. Sometimes it is so hard keeping up with all these medications and the different times you need to take them throughout your cycle. It is truly a miracle I remember half of this shit :) Btw I have become a pro at the lovenox shots. I don't even get bruising anymore. Pro I tell ya!

Over the Christmas holiday, Al and I contracted some sort of cold virus. My poor husband has been sleeping in the recliner because his coughing is so bad when he is in bed. Nothing like sharing lots of snot and coughing with the one you love :)

Not sure if you guys remember me telling you that I bought our niece a glow fish tank, but didn't take pictures. Thankfully my sister sent one to me the other night. Be prepared for some cuteness! IS that not just adorable??

Well today is New Years Eve of 2013. Tomorrow will hopefully start a year of great memories, fun times, being more in love with my husband, watching my teenager in her last year of high school. Things are changing so much and so fast. To be honest it has all changed for the better though compared to what my life used to be. Sometimes I wake up and really can't believe this is my life and I am so blessed with a great job, amazing family, and means to be able to travel with my husband. What a far road I have traveled and wouldn't change a thing.

Any big plans for New Years Eve??? I am a dud and will probably be in bed sleeping by 10. I hope all of you have your dreams come true in 2014.

Accepting new members

Quick note:

I am accepting new members into my infertility facebook group. We've had such success that most of the woman have graduated from infertility to pregnancy and gone on to be moms. If you are interested please send a request to the group. I don't allow any drama. We have a great group of woman who are amazing! We have a diverse group of ladies:

Some have been trying for many many years
Others decided to adopt
Some are going ivf route, others are trying naturally and/or iui/timed intercourse
Some have underlying immune issues
We have primary and secondary suffers in our group


Here is the link if you are interested:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/209836362407126/

I would love to hear from you. You may be a great fit for the group or you may not, but it never hurts to give it a shot.

2014 is going to rock!

Well I made it through another dreaded Christmas and not because I don't have a baby to share with everyone during the holidays. Mainly because I hate shopping, wrapping, cleaning, driving, and sitting around. All and all this turned out to be a lovely holiday though. I actually enjoyed it more then the previous years. On Christmas eve Al and I headed to Arkansas so we could spend a few days with his family. On the way we decided to stop at the Hard Rock Casino/Resort in Tulsa. It was a very good decision. I ended up winning!

I actually cashed out with over $800.00 and put $10.00 in this machine. I love Lord of the Rings so I figured the game should be fun and it was :)

We made our way to Arkansas and spent the first night at Al's parents house. The second night his other sister and her husband, two kids made it down, so we opted to get a nice hotel room on Christmas night and it was perfect! In fact I think we might start the casino/hotel room as a tradition on Christmas travel every year.

Al took this picture of me telling stories to our niece and nephew. It was really funny because they were totally engrossed in whatever I was talking about, but don't remember :)

On our way back home yesterday we stopped by the casino again hoping that luck would still be with us............... and it was. Al won another $400.00. From the casino we stopped by my sisters house to give my two nieces their presents. I am upset that I didn't get a picture of them :( We bought my youngest a 3 gallon glow fish tank and set it up for her. She was BEYOND thrilled. When her dad got home from work she said " Dad come look at my gift from uncle Al and aunt Neesha, it is AWESOME!

So finally we pulled back home around 7 last night so I could work today. Like I said, a pretty darn good Christmas this year.

I am really looking forward to 2014 for many reasons (some exciting and others not).  As you all know, we have put a time limit on ttc and 2014 is the last year we will actively go through treatment, see the RE and do any type of medication protocol. In one sense I am very scared that it won't happen this year and our years of infertility will end with empty arms. On the other hand I am excited to know that we can start a new phase in our lives and no more baby stress. It takes so much out of your emotionally, physically and financially. By the end of this year Al and I will be at peace either way and that is something I very much look forward to . We are also buying us a new rv this spring for all of our camping trips! We have our year planned for all our getaways and that is pretty exciting. We had planned on going to Florida, but it doesn't look like that is going to happen. There were some scheduling conflicts and  life happens also. We decided to take a week vacation to Colorado instead and try some skiing and white water rafting. Also decided to take Cierra to New York for next Christmas and that is going to be her graduation present from us. (she doesn't know). We have some really nice camping trips in the works with our new rv. For my birthday we are going to reserved a suite at the Hard Rock Casino/Resort. Plus we have a nice little anniversary trip planned to Arkansas. So lots of stuff going on this year. I really love to travel and we have been so blessed to be able to do this hobby of ours.

I will also (hopefully) be starting my IVIG treatments in January sometime. I am taking this month off from RE and just taking Femara. Next month I will jump back on board with Follistim/IUI and my infusions and go full steam ahead for the rest of the year. In February we will have been fighting infertility for 4 years. I will do a separate post on that when the time comes.

Like I said, lots going on.

Oh before I forget. I leave you with my one of my favorite Christmas presents from my sis!

I hope that everyone had a nice Christmas regardless if you are still in the trenches of fighting infertility, pregnant after infertility, parenting after infertility or adopting.....

A litte of this and a little of that

Thought I would do a "this & that" post today. 

We had some ice over the weekend and I for one love how everything looks covered in ice and with the sun shining on it. Such beauty. Although Al has some tree branches to clean up within the next few days. We have some that fell on our roof and our poor Magnolia tree took a pretty good hit :(

Today we celebrated our little family Christmas before heading out of state to have Christmas with Al's family. I look at these pictures from this morning and it is a reminder of how truly lucky and blessed my life is.
My beautiful necklace from Al

 I really hope that you all have a Merry Christmas and be sure to remind yourself of at least one thing to be thankful for this season.


TTC news:

Today is 10DPO and this cycle was a bust. Going to take the next month off from RE and just do a Femara cycle. Plan on getting back to Follistim/IUI at the end of January 2014.

It's Friday!

Funny Infertility Friday is here :)

Completely fed up.

This post is non infertility related and has to be said. First and foremost I am so tired of the people using religion to give them a right to decide who is worthy and who isn't. I have never hid the fact that I do not believe in God nor any religion. I am a firm believer that I live my life to the fullest and do the best for others and for myself that is possible. I try on a daily basis not to be hateful or harmful to others. I also respect everyone's right to their own faith as long as it " doesn't spew hate to others that don't believe in the same things" This is not being said toward those of the Christian faith only, this is being said to anyone that feels they are pass any kind of judgement and have not made mistake in their own life. Yes I do understand that many religions such as Christianity live by the words in a book and if you feel that someone is going to burn in hell because they are a homosexual, then that is your right, but don't feel like you are being persecuted when others don't wholeheartedly agree with you and get on your ban wagon on hate. Why can't we all just live our lives and do the best that we have control of daily? Save yourself before you start worrying about saving the world. I am sorry but I am so damn sick and tired of the hypocrites in this world! Just so you know, hate is not justified because the book you are reading states it is okay in certain circumstances. 

So Duck Dynasty guys
 In the GQ profile, the 67-year-old Duck Commander founder called being gay a “sin” and compared it to bestiality. “It seems like, to me, a vagina — as a man — would be more desirable than a man’s anus,” he told the mag. “That’s just me. I’m just thinking: There’s more there! She’s got more to offer… But hey, sin: It’s not logical, my man. It’s just not logical… Start with homosexual behavior and just morph out from there. Bestiality, sleeping around with this woman and that woman and that woman and those men.”

 and Sara Palins of the world................ try saying something nice about a person or doing a kind act for a person you feel is committing a sin. I would think that is what a true Christian person would do? Show love instead of spreading more hate in this world.

I have many friends that are very religious and you should know me well enough to know I am not attacking your faith, but I am standing up for what I feel is wrong in this world. Also please don't feel like you need to save me. I for one am totally happy and at peace with my beliefs.

Thankful

On a daily basis I see people who complain and complain about anything and everything. For such a long time I couldn't figure out how so many people are so miserable in their lives. Now I see that it is just the way some of us are and will always continue to be regardless. This makes me work even harder to see the beautiful things in life daily. Take a moment and be thankful for something, no matter how small :)

Try to remember that no matter how bad your days are, you are the only one with the power to change your outlook.

Challenge

I challenge every person who reads my blog to do one good deed selflessly for someone within the next 30 days. Will you accept?

I would love to hear about your good deed :)