Yesterday in my pregnancy after infertility group, one of our members posted something that was so honest.
" I know it's not a popular sentiment but I really hated pregnancy and I
seriously feel like I have PTSD from it. I see my twin (who is 35 weeks
pregnant) and get anxiety just by seeing her bump. I'm so grateful G
is here and in my arms."
I know for a fact that so many woman who are pregnant after infertility or pregnant in general are judged very harshly for complaining about pregnancy in any form. Don't get me wrong, I also judge and mainly the woman who complain about everything and ALL the time. I really loved that she was brave enough to admit that her pregnancy wasn't great and she wasn't in love with being pregnant. I know for me personally, my pregnancy hasn't been horrible, but it has been far from picture perfect also. The things I do love about being pregnant are feeling the girls moving and seeing my stomach move along with them. I love to sit at work and rub my belly as it grows. I love watching my husband and how in love with our daughters he already is. These are things that I would never trade for anything. There is also things that I absolutely hate. I am constantly gasping for breath when walking and don't remember what it is like to have full lungs to take a nice deep breath. The bleeding for 10 weeks and passing clots. It scared the shit out of me and I worried everyday that my pregnancy is going to end. The nightmares. I have nightmares all the time that the girls are dead. I hate that I am high risk and have to take 15 pills a day, plus injections and infusions to keep these little ladies healthy and growing. That is the truth. I will be judged from many people, but I won't sit here and just write what others want to hear. Would I go through this all in a heartbeat again? Yes I would.
My wish is that every single woman trying to have a baby would be able to get pregnant and experience this. I think about all the woman I know that are still trying, daily. I know the struggles first hand. All I can do is keep hoping everyday that treatment works and every single one of them gets their blessing. Also know that when it does happen, there are struggles on the other side also, just in a different sense.
My wish is that every single woman trying to have a baby would be able to get pregnant and experience this. I think about all the woman I know that are still trying, daily. I know the struggles first hand. All I can do is keep hoping everyday that treatment works and every single one of them gets their blessing. Also know that when it does happen, there are struggles on the other side also, just in a different sense.
Everything you wrote and what she wrote couldn't be more true. I honestly hated my pregnancy. I think I liked it for a second between 16 weeks and 22. I had a horrible pregnancy. And it's true we feel such tremendous guilt over it. We've just started to talk about number 2, and the anxiety has already set in. I will say this I think you are handling this so wonderfully.
ReplyDeleteWell said. I remember my last pregnancy I didn't feel like I could complain cause everyone told me I should just be happy that I am finally there.... But in all honesty barfing all the time is hard. It impacts your work and it changes the way you plan everything, HA! Did I complain all the time? Not one bit. But I had a day or two where I just didn't like it.
ReplyDeleteYou shouldn't be judged, your pregnancy has been hard and one that not many would be able to endure as gracefully as you have! Not liking certain aspects of pregnancy and child bearing makes you normal, no judgments here :)
Pregnancy is definitely hard on the body and definitely not as easy for some as it is for others. I appreciate honesty and there's no judgement from me if a pregnant lady is having a bad day. I was soooo sick the 1st 12 weeks of this pregnancy and I am still nauseous some days, it's hard, but that doesn't mean I'm not grateful. I admire you and how you've handled your pregnancy because you've had it rough with all that you've gone through. XO
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry you've had so many challenges with your pregnancy. Just wish it could be smooth sailing for all of those who've suffered so long trying to get pregnant.
ReplyDeleteWrote a post about this. And change is needed on this front. I agree, there are some who take it too far, but they are the minority. The rest of us are human: beyond grateful to be carryin our children but also struggling with the physical changes. It's time we were no longer silenced.
ReplyDeleteThanks for your continuouing honesty.
ReplyDeleteI've never really had a problem with people complaining about the hardships of pregnancy, mostly because I know how much all of the people I read have been through and how grateful they are to BE pregnant, even if they're having a hard time. It would be awesome if everyone could just have wonderful pregnancies to reward them for all their struggles. But the universe just ain't fair like that, as most of us know all too well!
ReplyDeleteI think women should be allowed to not enjoy puking their guts out and feel beyond uncomfortable in a number of different ways. I LOVE that I got to experience being pregnant and the end results. I didn't love BEING pregnant, but I wouldn't change anything either! I think it's okay for women to seek comfort when they are experiencing the hardships of pregnancy, so long as they aren't wishing to give birth already at like 20 weeks or something silly like that! Growing human beings is HARD, but also rewarding. I think you've stated this very well. Great post!
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