OB Consult

I meant to blog about this last Friday before all the bleeding scare. I think I have an OB. Let me start from the beginning. When I was about 5 weeks pregnant, Al and I were having a conversation about finding an OB that would be sensitive to a recovering infertile. Yes I am one of those woman that believe we should get special attention when moving forward to seeing the OB. Well I am not sure how many of you know, but my dear husband works at the hospital that we see the RE. He does all the contracts for the hospital so this puts Al in a great position to have a wonderful relationship with all the directors throughout the hospital. I asked Al to call in a favor. He contacted the director of Obstetrics and explained our four  year battle along with our miscarriages and now my care under Dr. Kim (who is very controversial). He was able to find what he thought was the perfect doctor for us. I wanted to wait before we spoke with him just because of my past. But, I decided last week to give Al the okay for this doctor to call and talk to me. I received the phone call on Friday while getting my infusion. He introduced himself and asked me to please give him our history, concerns etc. After a long half hour conversation I felt we have found the perfect doctor. He is going to go along with Dr. Kim's protocol and not fight me on it. He also said since I am carrying twins and on the blood thinners that I will be considered high risk (which is pretty common) with multiples. He is also going to get me set up with the high risk doctors through OU and he said I will be getting ultrasounds every 4 weeks. I explained to him that if I freak out and need an u/s asap, will he be able to do this for me? Even if it  happens numerous times? His answer was "of course". So I think I am very happy with our choice. 

DId I just really make the leap and pick an OB? Wow shit is getting so real. I sit here daily and look at the u/s pictures and still can't believe this happened to me and these are my babies. It just doesn't seem real. God knows I fought my ass off to get here and I deserve every second of it. 

Today I am 6W5D. My next u/s is Wednesday. Hoping for some more growing babies and good news. 

Symptom wise:

HUNGRY all the time

Did I mention Hungry?

Constipation

I heard from a blogger the other day that being on prednisone cuts down on morning sickness. I get a little nauseous in the evenings, but nothing worth saying I have sickness for sure. 

Still waiting on my boobs to grow a little? 

Big Scare

Remember how everything has been going perfect since the beginning of this pregnancy? Well that came to a complete stop last night. It was about 6 pm and I felt a huge gush of something warm going down my leg. I went to the bathroom and my worst fears were realized. My panties were full of blood and as I sat down a huge splash hit the toilet. I looked and there was a blood clot about the size of my hand with LOTS of red blood. I called my RE and told him what just happened. No cramps, no back pain, just blood and huge clots. He told me to lay down for the rest of the night and come in this morning for a u/s. As you can imagine I didn't sleep at all last night. I think it was one of the longest nights of my life. So please excuse all the typos and grammar mistakes. 

We went in this morning and immediately saw two gestational sacs measuring .  The sacs are measuring 6w6d. Baby "A" is measuring 6w4d with a heartbeat of 123bpm. Baby "B' is measuring 6w3d with a heartbeat of 120bpm. As you can see on the attached u/s there is a third sac right at the bottom of Baby "B" (which is top pic). At this point he is unsure if that is a third gestational sac or a fluid sac in where the blood is coming from. Now on to his main concern. He is very concerned at the amount of lovenox I am taking daily. He said that he wouldn't even prescribe a patient with an active lung blood clot 80 mg daily. He is concerned that Dr. Kim is in Chicago and I am here being on such a high dose. He said it is completely my decision and he will support me regardless, but is not surprised I am bleeding on this dosage and will most likely continue to bleed. I won't lie, I think he has a valid point. I was only diagnosed with clotting factors. I am going to talk talk with Dr. Kim, but I think after discussions with Al and Dr. H I am going to stay with 40mg a day from here on out.

Any ideas on the lovenox from ladies that are familiar with this? Even though I am scared shit less of the bleeding, I am so thankful we had two heartbeats today.

Inspirational Infertility Friday & Stuff

I won't lie. It is taking everything I have daily to convince myself everything is going well. I think mainly it is because I am pregnant with twins and I hardly have any symptoms. I know so many woman think that symptoms equal a healthy pregnancy, but we all know there is no truth in that. Basically every persons body reacts differently to pregnancy hormones. Although I might not mind having the false sense of security right now instead of just having faith that the babies are growing and doing everything they are suppose to. I keep reminding myself that this hasn't been like any of my previous pregnancies. I have excellent hcg levels, my progesterone is sky high and that is something I've never had, even on supplements. They were able to detect a heartbeat at 5w5d which is a great sign. I was measuring ahead on both gestational sacs and one baby. So why does the doubt keep trying to make its way in?? Can I just bypass to about 12 weeks? 

Still thankful to be sitting here right now with these problems though. So thankful! 

I have my infusion later today and next u/s is Monday. I will be 6W5D. Hoping the Baby "B'' has done some growing and they both look great with little heartbeats.

6 Weeks

Today I am celebrating 6 weeks! Everyday that I am pregnant is one day longer I feel so blessed to to have "the hoppers" with me. I am still almost symptom free. My main issue is insomnia, but I am dealing with it just fine. I get the occasional nausea feeling, I am always hungry and still some cramping here and there. I told both bosses yesterday. Al and I made the decision that we wouldn't hide this pregnancy for the fear of losing the babies. Since we are done with treatments, this is very well our last pregnancy and we want to celebrate every minute of it. No worries though, we aren't doing any facebook announcements for A LONG time. I explained to my boss yesterday that it is still very possible we won't come home with any babies and that it is still very early. He said he was going to stay optimistic and know we would come home with two. He said he was very excited to have the need now to come up with a maternity leave policy since we don't have anything in place. We talked about hiring someone to take my place for a few months. Unfortunately one of the co-workers I have can't remember her name half of the time and I told him we couldn't expect her to pick up slack  around here because of her thousands of disabilities (mentally). He agreed. We still have plenty of time and many things can change from day to day.

I put my u/s picture on my computer so I can look at this beautiful sight daily until next Monday.

On another note, I want you to know that I do understand if you are still in the trenches or in a bad place right now. I hope you understand that I do have to celebrate this for me. As long as I am allowed to be pregnant I will be posting on my blog about it. So I totally understand if you need to step back and not follow me for the time at hand. It is not my intention to hurt anyone, but I also need to do this for me.

Immune Treatments

Am I a believer in immune treatments now? Yes. Although it is still very early in this pregnancy and there is still a real chance that I will not have any babies to take home in nine months, I believe with all my heart that seeking Dr. Kim's help and the new protocol is the one and only reason I am here.  I really urge any of my followers that are having recurrent losses to please check  your resources on seeing Reproductive Immunologist. I can tell you that Al and I don't have any infertility insurance and didn't pay anything out of pocket to see Dr. Kim. We were later billed, but most of it was billed to immune issues which is covered. We ended up paying a few hundred dollars for the testing and initial consult with her. I won't lie, the protocol is not for the faint of heart, it requires A LOT. A lot of testing, a lot of medications, a lot of persistence, but I worth every bit of it.

I still till this day receive negative feedback from so many doctors and they said there is NO proof in immune treatment. There are NO studies to back up the fact it does work. The only thing I need to know is............ after many years of doing the same treatment that didn't work, I tried something new and so far the results are amazing.

I sit here and think where I would be right now if I didn't make the decision last year to see Dr. Kim. If I would have listened to my doctors, I know that seeing her wouldn't have been an option. 

So any of you out there, please remember to do what you feel is right in your heart. Sometimes this goes againist everything that has been told to you.

Will I still sit here and agree with this post even if we end up losing both of these babies? 

Yes.,

U/S Update

Sorry it took so long, but I wanted to get home safely before posting, since I have two on board.

Twins.

Both measuring ahead.

One had hb of 103 today
Second one you could see hb, but it wasn't strong enough to be picked up on u/s just yet.
This is pretty amazing news for 5W5D pregnant. I didn't think I would see more then gestational sac and yolk sac.

We are shocked. I think it will take a few days for this to soak in. I don't even feel pregnant!

The u/s pic didn't really pick up second baby that well at this angle, but he/she is definitely there!

We go back in next Monday for second u/s. I will be 6W5D.....

Big Day

Well today is a pretty big appointment. I go in for my 5w5d ultrasound at 3:30 cst. How am I feeling? Either surprisingly calm or just completely numb. I know that I am not full of anxiety. Maybe I know that whatever is going to be will be? I will update later today with what the findings are.

Infertility Inspirational Friday

One positive thing I got from infertility was...........strength.

5W1D

I find that patience is one of my biggest weaknesses. So today I take deep breaths and remind myself that I am not in control of this situation only how I handle it.


4 days until u/s.

Today I am 5W1D. No symptoms. Still no bleeding!! That is a huge accomplishment right there. Insomnia is kicking my ass because of Prednisone, but all and all everything is absolutely perfect and I feel so blessed to be here at this point, at this moment. Regardless what happens, I will always have these memories today and that is priceless :)

HCG Calculator

Baby Med finally got their hcg calculator fixed!!

I hope this is a good sign.