Hard
This is my first week at home with the girls alone. I give ANY woman of multiples serious credit! I know that most of the time I don't say much because my friends with a singleton get so offended. The truth is, raising multiples is harder. I don't want to take anything away from others, because I know that raising a baby in general is hard work. This week has tested my patience to say the least. Lilah screams ALL THE TIME. Bloody murder screams. She pukes ALL THE TIME. We can't keep a bottle down. She gags and pukes and pukes and pukes. I seriously wash about 20 burp clothes a day and about 8 or 9 outfits. She is hardly ever happy or smiling. She doesn't want to nap. When I do lay her down she will start screaming in about 10 minutes and wake her sister up. I know how much I love my girls and I know how hard I have worked for them. I won't apologize for venting either. I know some people will think I sound ungrateful and that is okay. I just want Lilah to get past whatever is going on with her. The other day she pulled her tube five times. Luckily we are at 100% bottle feeds now, but still have to keep the tube in for all her medications. I also talked to her peditrician who suggested I start her on 1 teaspoon of cereal in her bottle to help gain weight and help keep her food down. I wasn't set on the idea at all because she is a preemie. I am now starting to consider it. Al has another call into the Cardiologist today. She has mentioned starting Lilah on reflux medications. I am also having him ask her about implementing cereal. I was scared it could effect her heart condition. I just want to try whatever I can to help her. I am tired and so frustrated. And I am definitely not cut out to be a stay at home mom. I thought I wanted to be, but it is clear now that I am not. Any of you moms that stay at home with your babies, I seriously give you credit, you rock!
Well enough whining for today. Sorry I am stressed to the absolute max.
On a good note, because I always like to wrap things up with positive. Lilah is gaining weight and now is at 6 lbs 15 oz. We have her Cardiologist appointment next week and will find out when her surgery is. I love being a mom and I love all of my girls and know how blessed beyond measure I am.
We also got our professional pics back of the girls. Here are a few of my favorite pictures.
Vent away! No guilt.
ReplyDeleteI was going to ask about reflux. All the symptoms you describe make me think that's what you're dealing with. Poor kid! It's not fun. And hang in there. I promise it will get easier with time.
First week home alone with both girls and you found time to blog!? You are amazing! At least for me, it's really nice to hear about the hard stuff too. I've never been a mom before and a lot of this gets glossed over when talking to friends. I really appreciate when people like you are real about the stuff that sucks and isn't easy. It helps me feel a little more prepared. Hang in there, you're doing amazing and those girls are so precious!!
ReplyDeleteSweetie!! I have a singleton and it's hard. I can only imagine what it's like with two! Not only do you have two but one with medical issues. But you are doing great!! I don't think you're complaining. You're venting. There is a big difference!!
ReplyDeleteAhh! They are SO cute! Don't ever consider apologizing for venting. Babies are a lot of work, and you have 2 of those things demanding a lot of attention! It's ok to be frustrated with the screaming, and it's ok to want to do what's going to be best for Lilah to get through whatever it is that's going on. Hugs, you can do this!!!
ReplyDeleteOh those pics are too cute!!
ReplyDeleteI have thought many times when I had a rough day of Paloma screaming how much harder it would be if there were 2. I give huge props to moms of multiples!
As a mother of 17 month old twin girls(also through IVF), I UNDERSTAND where you are coming from. You never want to make singleton moms feel like you are belittling their struggles, but twins are hard! On the rare times we are home with just one girl, both my husband and I are like.. WOW.. this is a piece of cake! I was lucky that mine had relatively few health issues too compared to your situation. Just know.. it does get easier!! The challenges are different (and I still dont get much else done besides playing with them all day) but at least they are happy the majority of the time. And the puking... oh the puking... let's just say we got new carpet after they turned 1. It was a lost cause!
ReplyDeleteThe newborn stage is so hard! With one it really is hard. I'm sure twins are exponentially harder. Especially with all the added stress of preemies and health complications. Both of my kiddos had bad reflux. I know about the vomiting! Really hoping that Lilah can go on reflux meds and that is the answer. For us it took a few tries with different meds so if you think that's what it is just know that if one doesn't work you may need to move on to the next. And please don't judge being a stay at home mom from the new born stage. I'm not stay at home, but I can still guarantee that those first few months are very different than later, stay at home or not. Once you hit an easier stage it may seem more doable. Or not. I feel like it takes a bit to work out what you want the first go 'round. I am definitely happier working but I could be stay at home I think. But that newborn stage, it kills. It seems like an eternity but things will get easier. You just have to make it through that 4th trimester (or what ever it is preemie adjusted?) Keep up the good work, Mama. I know this is such a hard road right now. But oh my gosh, they are beautiful!
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry things are so tough right now! I definitely know more than a few moms who initially said they never wanted to be stay-at-home moms, and then when things started to calm down a little bit later and they got into a groove, they never wanted to go back to work. I'm sure it will get easier!
ReplyDeleteOMG. They are just so precious! Love all the photos! I cannot imagine how full your plate is right now raising twins, it's double the work of one baby so I cannot imagine what kind of super mom you are turning into! Keep it up chick!
ReplyDeleteAs a Peds nurse I'm telling you she has reflux. Start the meds she will be much happier. You might need to change formulas also. No baby should be that unhappy.
ReplyDeleteI had such a hard time with Oliver in the beginning too. He had reflux as well. Screamed non stop....non stop. I was like this can't be it!!!! But we finally found a medicine that worked and he was a completely different baby!!!! If one medication doesn't work, have them try something else!!! Good luck!!!! You are doing amazing!!!!!
ReplyDeleteThanks for all the feed back. The Cardiologist is calling in a rx for reflux medications today. They want to keep her on the high calorie formula until after her heart surgery. I hope this will help her some.
ReplyDeleteVent away lady! Singletons are hard but I suspect multiples are even harder- especially preemies!
ReplyDeleteLove the pictures!
I can only imagine two would be harder! You're doing a great job. Keep up the good work, mama. They're beautiful girls. Love their pics.
ReplyDeleteI am right there with you on the sleep troubles and not being able to able to console them is so incredibly stressful. I can't even imagine doing this x2! You have every right to express your emotions and your stress.
ReplyDeleteoh man, hang in there... i have just my 1 guy and its not easy. i can't imagine 2!
ReplyDeleteI wish I had read this weeks ago but I am so far behind! It is hard. And I know that people will say "It will get easier" but I am here to say...it doesn't. The obstacles of twins changes. Instead of waking in the night or feeding schedules, it becomes about eating food, weaning bottles, sicknesses, walking, dangers, safety, talking, trying to keep them from destroying the house, keeping them well mannered in public, etc. But as you know, twins bring twice the love and are twice the blessings too. I pray for Lilah (and all of you) and am glad to hear that she is doing well in gaining weight. Reflex meds did wonders for Max so glad to hear that you can start that. They are both just gorgeous. I have told you before but you need to know doubly! Let me know if you ever need anything as far as twindom goes. Sometimes you just need to vent to someone that gets it.
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