The end of the pumping era

I say this with 0% guilt. I am DONE pumping. All the breastfeeding nazi moms can say all they want, but I am done and I am happy! I was never a big fan of breastfeeding, but wanted to do what was best for the girls and decided to give it a fair shot. What I didn't know is the girls would be born early and I would have to exclusively pump for a extended period of time. Holy crap pumping sucks! I did exactly what the LC told me. I pumped every 2-3 hours throughout the day and took a 4 hour break throughout the night. I pumped and pumped and pumped and only got out about 1 1/2 -2 ounces per pump ( on good pumps), but I stuck with it the whole time they were both in NICU. Olivia came home and the doctors wanted her on a high calorie formula to help her gain weight. I breastfed her twice daily and did the rest bottles. Meanwhile still pumping like I was told for Lilah. Fast forward two months later. Now Lilah is on a high calorie formula and I still can't breastfeed her because she doesn't have the whole bottle feeding down yet, so I pump and pump some more. Well the doctor told me the other day that I should get a gold star for my effort throughout this time. She said she didn't know how I stuck with it and even with a very low supply. After talking to her I have made the decision to hang up the milk suckers and reclaim my boobs. I am actually proud of the job I did with the girls and I know they both benefited from what I could provide them. 

Don't get me wrong, I am happy for the woman who can produce mass amounts of milk for their babies. I wish that would have been the case for me, but it is almost impossible for mothers with babies in the NICU for long periods of time and having multiples. One thing I do ask for moms who can produce like a dairy cow and have massive amounts, please consider donating to your local NICU or milk bank. My girls both depending on donor milk throughout their stay and it meant so much to Al and I that this was available.