Tomorrow

Well I lost a follower.  Guess my non baby obsessive post are finally getting to people. It still stings a little when you lose a follower. Oh well their loss....

Okay on to important matters at hand. Do you know what tomorrow is? Tomorrow is my RE appointment for blood work and u/s. It has been a little over a month since I lost circle. Please keep your fingers crossed that my levels are low enough that I can start trying again. Even more importantly, tomorrow I get to pick up my records from RE so I can send to Dr. Kim in Chicago. This is a huge moment for me. Al and I talked about it and decided we are waiting until end of August. We have a few trips planned already and plan on doing A LOT of camping etc this spring and summer. I couldn't think of a better time to go see her. Have a fun summer, being refreshed and positive going into this. I believe deep down in my heart that she will be the key to us getting pregnant. If not, then I know without a shadow of a doubt that Al and I did everything humanly possible to concieve and for whatever reason, we couldn't. I can also live with that (as I have mentioned previously).

So my baby quilt project has really taken off. I never imagined when I started doing this project that people would be interested. I thought I would make a few quilts, they would fall apart and that would be the end of it. I have never been so wrong. I've had so many woman on facebook contacting me about buying a quilt from me. I won't lie, I am considering doing this in my extra time to make a few extra bucks on the side. My husband is so proud of me. Of course I show him every quilt step by step and explain to him the person I am making it for and what treatment they went through, how many baby/babies they are having and what that person has brought into my life. It is such a touching experience. I know I babble on about the quilts all the time, but it means more to me then words could ever describe. I also feel in a weird way that this is me making up for bad things I have done in the past that could be the reason why I can't conceive. I know most of you say no that is not the reason, but parts of me believe it is. 

Before I leave this post today. I want to specifically talk to all the woman still in the trenches. Just remember to always hold your head up high. Life can really be unfair and kick you so far down that you don't ever believe things will get better. Just remember you are the ONLY person that can allow yourself to be defeated. Be stubborn as HELL. I know failed cycles are devastating, but remember that in time one will work. Simple mathematics, one will work...All the people I personally know that have made it through VERY difficult medical situations and horrible things in their lives is because they are fighters. I also see people that sit back and whine about their situations constantly and put blame everywhere and just let defeat take over and those people are sad.