Pic as Promised

Okay before you look at this, I promise that IFL you can see a faint line on the hcg strip. This  is also my second one of the day. I couldn't get the first one from this morning out of trash. Top one is the ovulation strip and  you can see the line on that one. IF you don't see any line, that is okay too :)

UPDATE!

Just went to bathroom because of cramping and there was dark brown spotting. Is it possible to start AF only 9DPO? Now I am scared.

6DP3DT

I POAS (cheap wondfo) this morning and there was a shade of a line. When I say shade, it was a shade but my husband saw it to. I know it is really early and this doesn't mean anything. I am staying positive though. Lots of cramps yesterday all day long. So far today just weird feelings in my uterus and some cramping. Has anyone got a faint line on 6DP3DT? It is 11 days after trigger so I don't think it could be the trigger still. I will test again tomorrow. For any of you that have kept up with my blogs, know I usually don't have positive feelings about my cycles. On day 3 and yesterday I told my husband I think it worked this time. I hate to say that incase I am wrong, but I have felt so much more stuff going on this time. Please keep your fingers crossed for me.

5DP3DT Update

I might be having a few symptons today. I've had cramping on and off all day so far. It seems a little high in my stomach though. I was thinking that implantation cramping would be low down in pelvic area? Since last night I am so bloated. This didn't happen last cycle either. And finally, headaches. Here is a picture of my serious bloat that has started since yesterday.....

5DP3DT

Honestly I will be so glad when all of this is over. Rather my test is positive or negative I just want to quit feeling so crummy. If the test comes out negative I am going back to the doctor to see if I can start my prozac and xanax again. I never imagined that after a year of having these attacks under control that they would come back with such a vengeance. I am having problems with go places and even at work today. It seems the only place they aren't bad is at home. Unless you have personally suffered with anxiety and panic attacks, it is so hard to understand the horrible nature of them. I have been to a few therapists and also psychiatrist and it has just left me with empty pockets and attacks. Ugh I just feel really bad today.


I am feeling lots of cramping this morning, but it is higher in my stomach (just below my belly button). I think that would be to high for implantation cramping.

Five	The blastocyst attaches deeper into the uterine lining, beginning implantation

Panic Attacks

I know that you guys can definitely give me input on this problem. Anyone that has suffered from a history of panic attacks and anxiety, did you attacks become worse while on ivf medication or during the process of treatments? I went out to lunch with my sister today and as soon as I walked in, I had a huge panic attack. Dizzy, sweating, feeling sick, stomach problems etc. Most of the time I have this under control, but when we go through ivf, they seems to spiral out of control. I hate this! Any suggestions?
 

4DP3DT

Well my sister and niece are coming to visit me today. I'm really looking forward to this because I'm going stir crazy in this house. Maybe taking off a week from work wasn't the best idea. At least I go to work tomorrow!

Nothing to report on symptoms. I had mild cramping for most of the day yesterday, but it is all gone today. I finally tested out of my trigger this morning. Yesterday during all the cramping I started to feel like this might have worked. I think it was just a fluke or progesterone related though. Only 3 more days before I start testing.

3DP3DT

INSOMNIA SUCKS! I haven't slept in days. I know the progesterone didn't do this to me the last time. I purposely stay up all day and don't sleep, been staying up later and listening to my meditation cd before bed. I fall asleep for about an hour and then I'm up all night long! Guess tonight I will try the benadryl. I hate the way that stuff makes me feel though. 

Nothing else to report. I need sleep.

2DP3DT

I just realized I didn't let you guys know how my transfer went. If you remember last time, it took an hour in half and the doctor had to go in twice. A lot of pain and A lot of un-needed trauma on my uterus. I am happy to announce that this transfer only took about 45 minutes. It was still a hard transfer, but not as traumatic. Of course my bladder was to full and I knew that going in. The doctor felt it was just right until he tried to get the speculum in and it kept coming out. After about 20 minutes of trying he asked me to go empty my bladder about half way. I came back and got on the table and after about another 20 minutes of trying, the catheter finally went through. I would say that my surgery last month was a success for the most part. He felt much more confident this go around that the placement was better and there was far less trauma. 

So today is 2DP3DT and I am trying to think positive. Listening to my meditation cd's, laughing, and hopeful. I keep saying to my little embryos that please let one stay with us. 

My husband was not comfortable with transferring (3). Although after Dr. H said he had NO problem, it was a done deal. We decided the night before that we would do whatever the doctor thought was in our best interest. My husband also told me that we would be okay if this ivf didn't work. He said that we would be okay to live our life without a children together and that he loved me regardless what. I think that took some pressure off me. This has been a long road. We talked and talked. After some thought, I think we might be able to save up money for one more ivf next year if needed. I know I am getting ahead of myself, but as all of you know, I am a huge control freak. I guess we will cross that bridge when we get there. My husband really wants to go back to iui's. He said we had more luck with those then ivf. At least we had two chemical pregnancies. I have also considered donor eggs if we go through this again. I don't have a lot of information on it, but I am hoping the cost would be around the same as a fresh ivf cycle.  My eggs are shit, pure and simple.  I was almost shocked this go around. We stimmed slower, I was on vitamins to help with quality, did acupuncture again and the doctor said the eggs this time were a little bit behind the ones last time at day 3. I will be getting the call today that the other (3) were crap and didn't make it to freeze. I really hate that phone call. But, at least this time I was already prepared so it won't be such a huge shock.

Finally, here is a pic of my retrieval and transfer socks I got from Trisha :)

Of course no symptoms this early but I will keep you updated.

1DP3DT

Since the three day transfer is a new thing to me, I wanted to ask a few questions. It seems that my 10,000 trigger shot is already out of my system, how is that even possible?

Any tips for insomnia?

Did you have or not have any bed rest? My doctor office only says to "take an easy" for a few days. I have tried the best rest yesterday and now my whole body hurts. Don't think I can do it again today.

How early can you start testing on 3 day transfer? 7DP3DT?

Thanks for any information. Plus I love to obsess on the tww as you all know :)