Beta #2

I made the decision this morning that I was not going to wait until Thursday for the next beta. For my last three chemical pregnancies my clinic has done that and it is torture. I called them and explained the situation that Dr. H told me to come back in Thursday and I couldn't wait any longer. The receptonist told me to come in and if Dr. H was upset he could talk with me about it later. So I went it. I told the nurse that I was sorry but none of them are in our shoes and don't know what it is like to be told to wait some and some more and some more, especially my Doctor :) cause he is a man. I also explained that I don't want to get fired at patient for not listening to the doctor and apologized for being such a demanding patient. She told me that he would not be upset at all and after everything I have been through in the last few years that I could come in whenever I wanted. We talked about my test from last night and this morning. Last night was darker then its been, but still to light for 14DPO. I guess I just needed the numbers to double from 16.9 on Sunday. I think even if they did somehow double, the number is still to low. Well at least I only go crazy until 3 or 4 this afternoon verses going crazy for another two days.

I will update when I hear back today. Sorry if I have been driving everyone crazy with these stupid "f" ing pee sticks, but I have a serious problem. If TLC decides to come out with a episode of Strange Addictions to pee sticks, I will seriously sign up! Last year I spent $560 on FRER's. 

13DPO and Waiting

Well after testing this morning and my test looking the same for a few days now, I decided to discontinue my progesterone and let nature take its course. My back has been hurting for two days now (bad). I am having lots of pulling sensations in my uterus. Cramps have been coming and going since Saturday morning. I am a little excited in the fact that I think Femara is seriously the drug that will help us get pregnant. I have been on it for three cycles now and got pregnant twice. I know it's not huge milestone when you get pregnant with a chemical, but it is something, right? Keeping fingers crossed that (if) and that is a very STRONG (if) this pregnancy doesn't work out, then numbers will start dropping in next day or two and my RE will let us start Femara for next iui. He has let me start a new cycle after chemicals with low numbers and only lasting a few days. 

I also need to start staying away from other infertility groups. I am so freaking tired of the negative drama queens. Also bitching and whining, that gets so old! I am so thankful that my group is pretty amazing and filled with wonderful woman. I won't go into any more today.

Here are pics from my test this morning: As you can tell my afternoon test are always darker. I first tested positive on 10DPO so as you can tell, they are not progressing anywhere close to where they should be. This morning is on bottom 13DPO:

 Updated:

I just heard back from my clinic and if levels are keep dropping then I can resume iui as soon as AF hits again :)

The gift that never stops giving.....

Chemical Pregnancy #5

I went in this morning for a beta at 12DPO. My hcg levels were 16.9 and my progesterone was 23. My doctor made the remark that now I am getting pregnant often. Guess it really doesn't count if it is  not viable though. He said that level is low and wants me to come back in on Thursday for another test. I am going to stop my progesterone today. That number 23 was without my suppositories since they don't show up in blood stream. Hoping I can get past this little bump and start my next cycle within this week or next.

Here was a picture of my latest chemical. I like to document all of them for future reference:

On a MUCH brighter note: Please go by and wish my wonderful fellow blogger and friend good luck on her ultrasound tomorrow. Cristy at http://searchingforoursilverlining.blogspot.com. Fingers are crossed for you my sweet friend. I am waiting in such anticipation to see the baby and heartbeat!!!

Part 2

I called my clinic this morning and explained I was having another chemical pregnacy and asked if it would interfere with starting my new treatment plan. They wanted me to come in for beta, so I go in tomorrow morning. Just want this one to end quickly.

Also little back ground on this cycle. I was on narcotic pain meds until 4 days ago. I haven't taken any of my vitamins, aspirin etc. and only took my Femara for four days because I had a virus. How in the heck did this really happen. I mean of course we had sex when the ovulation test showed positive because I KNEW this wouldn't happen. I am infertile and for almost three years, these things don't happen!.

I took a test a few hours ago:

 Top one was from 6 last night
Middle was 6 this morning
Bottom was 11 this afternoon.

Infertility Funny Friday AGAIN

Okay this goes to show you how out of touch with this week I am :) As you will noticed I posted Infertility Funny Friday yesterday on Thursday. I figured I will give you all a bonus this week.

Funny Infertility Friday

TTC Update:

9DPO- One liner on test. Hoping for CD1 tomorrow so I can move on after our chemical last month.

Negative Reality Shows & ICLW WELCOME

 Welcome ICLWers! Sorry I picked a bad day to rant! Promise my post are usually completely different. For my history you can click on my tab above labeled TTC History... I look forward to reading your comments and reading some new blogs this month!


Warning: 

This post today will piss some people off and I am okay with that. This is my one place to keep things real.

This post has been some time in the making.  As you guys know I have a infertility facebook page and also follow a few groups. What is the main reason for these groups? Support right? Where does the line turn into the grey area of support? I want to support all the woman on my page and try to do so with the best of my knowledge. I know that I can be a harsh person or come off harsh to people sometimes because I don't want to be weighed down with negativity. I also know that every person handles infertility different. Some are very positive and keep march forward, some are very negative and need a lot of support. etc. ...... I also know that with suffering though secondary infertilty that many woman feel I don't understand. Which btw the is bullshit. I understand as well as anyone else does. That is another can of worms to open on another day. 

Okay my post today is about all the negative reality shows that depict teen moms, bad moms, celebrity partying moms etc. I find it very hard to show support to woman that watch this shit and then complain. First of all it is a decision to watch these shows knowing very well that is it going to upset and offend you as an infertile. So why do you choose to do this to yourself? I know for me personally I avoid any kind of situation that I have the control to, if I know it will upset me. I don't read articles that have headlines like " Infant dead and mom is caught in casino". It is very unhealthy in my opinion. Which brings me back to the whole "just because it is good for me, doesn't mean it works for you" I know that my overview on things aren't necessarily right or wrong as is the same with other woman whom choose to watch or read this stuff. Here is the main problem I am having. I set up my infertility facebook page because I was tired of all the negative comments consistently and wanted to set up a place for woman more like me who tend to look at the positive side of things. Woman who despite seeing one line month after month can cry it off and start fighting again. So this brings up a problem when I have woman posting on this page about seeing blah blah reality show and then getting bitter etc. The plain truth is I don't want this crap on my page, but I am trying to be sensitive and show support. Any helpful suggestions on how I can deal with this problem? I am prepared to lose some members and that is their choice. Maybe it would be a better fit for anyone who is offended to find another group that is more supportive to what they need. I don't want to lose the whole idea of why I set up this page. If I only end up with 5 members who feel the same way as I do at the end of the day, then I feel I did a good job. Make any sense? Am I being to harsh? 

Any feedback positive or negative would be appreciated.

BTW I am either 6DPO or 7DPO. I got positive on my opk on last Monday and Tuesday. So I counted Wednesday as 1DPO, does that seem right? Either way I am feeling AF signs and not to upset that this cycle didn't work out. I was on pain meds for my teeth and wasn't taking my vitamins regularly. When cd1 gets here I can call the clinic and start my next iui with Femara/Follistim. Btw have any of you had your prometrin suppositories covered by insurance? I know they are super expensive, but I really like them!

Funny Infertility Friday

Being Misinformed!

I am seriously going to rant and rant some more. You might want to skip this post today. 


Al and I decided since we spent so much money on fertility treatments last year that we would deduct our medical this year. Once we learned that it had to total over 7% of your total income then we knew for sure we had enough. I started going through all of our receipts from 2012. As you all know we bought the Attain Multi-Cycle Program that consisted of (2) fresh cycles and (2) frozen cycles for X amount of dollars. I read through and through our contract and so much of it was foreign to me. We talked to our clinic and the basically told us what wasn't covered:

Medications
Anesthesia
Freezing of embyros
Storage of frozen embryos

Great good deal huh! So today I call my RE clinic to find out how much copays we made in 2012 so I could add to our medical expenses. She faxes me over a 28 page print off and at the end it says we owe $2,200. WTF? I know that we did owe a few hundred but $2,200? I start looking through the invoice and here are a few charges:

$773.35 for " Extended culture of oocyte/embryo 4-7 days

$1,000 for " Extended culture of oocyte/embryo 4-7 days

$400.00 "Assisted hatching embryos

So I look in my contract with Attain totally confused and there it is

Covered services

* Embryo culture (up to 3 days)

I do understand that you should know what you are signing when spending that much money. But, we didn't even know going into this that embryo culture was something we needed to know about!



I talked to the girl at my RE office and explained to her I feel like we were taken for fools and was very upset. I was told by my RE on day 3 that none of our remaining would make it to blast stage let alone frozen so why did I get charged for 4-7 cultures????  She was absolutely sympatheic and said she would get those two huge charges reversed. 


This story ends well, but what about all of us going into this and not knowing. My program also covered (2) FET. Thank god we didn't have any because it doesn't cover the culture after three days to decide if they can freeze and it doesn't cover freezing them or storage.


I am just really upset that Attain or our clinic didn't take the time to truly explain this process to us. We were wet behind the ears going into this. Never knew what questions to ask. 


Moral to the story..... Read between the lines and ask ALOT of questions! It would have been cheaper for us to go through our clinic and have ivf done twice.

UPDATE:

Within 45 minutes after conversation with my clinic I received an email stating the charges were immediately taken off and I know owe $345. Sigh of relief! 

Money Tree

If there is such a thing as a money tree, would you please happen to seed in my back yard this year! Yesterday I had my dentist appointment for a check up on my extraction. I also made an appointment for Cierra. We were told back in August that she needed a second root canal. Since she had one in August it totally eliminated our insurance for the year. The dentist felt confident we could wait until January to have the second one done. Well during yesterdays visit, not only does Cierra need a root canal, but eight cavaties filled, three wisdom teeth pulled and that doesn't include the ortho she needs done. Even though I am have always been scared of the dentist I preach to Cierra how important it is to brush and floss etc. After yesterdays visit, she needs a total of about $10,000 done in work, this also includes ortho (braces) which are about $6,000. Luckily our dentist offers something care Credit Care and we were approved for a good portion of that cost at zero % interest unless late on payment then it will be at 14.99%. I told Al last night that Cierra's tooth care is going to start matching our infertility cost soon.  I am not going to lie, I am a little stressed out about money. We have our iui's starting next month. Thank goodness they are only $301 a pop per month and now we have enough Follistim and Femara to do many cycles. We are also planning our trip to see the Reproductive Immunologist in Chicago later this year and that will cost some money. Al wants to trade my crv in spring and get a new vehicle. For once I am not on the same page. It has been paid off for almost a year now and I love the money I am saving. He said that it only makes sense due to the fact it has almost 130,000 miles and will need new timing belt within the next year and tires etc. His mustang is paid off next month so we wouldn't have any car payments. I like that idea, but would also like having a new vehicle. I guess either way we would be ahead of the game with two paid off vehicles. We have our three short vacations planned. I guess we could scrap those, but vacations play a huge roll in our lives. It is a nice get-a-way and helps relax our bodies and minds after treatments and failed cycles etc. I know that most people think that vacation is a luxury and for the most part it is. For us, it is a must have. Of course we aren't going to tropical island trips so that we don't spend alot of money. This year we are planning trips to Galvenston TX and New York for Christmas. I also have our anniversary trip planned to Eureka SPrings Arkansas where we got married. I reserved a Manhattan Tree House Cabin for the weekend (we definitely need that trip). So I guess for the most part we are super blessed to be able to save money and enjoy other things and not just spending everything on our treatments. 

I still want a money tree though, seriously!

  Oh before I forget one sweet story about my daughter: 

I was at the dentist with my daughter this morning and looking at my blogger. I was actually checking out Amanda Griswold awesome bump pics. My daughter looked at me with the saddest eyes and says " Mom doesn't that hurt you to look at pregnant people when you can't have a baby"? My response " No Cierra because all of the girls on my blog have gone through exactly what I am and they weren't suppose to have babies either" For me it is so different seeing one of us getting pregnant verses Betty Jo down the street that looks at a penis and is pregnant.

1DPO- Today I had pink spotting ( I am going to google but I think I read that is normal with ovulation and letting the egg(S) release. I think I had more then one this month.