Tomorrow

I printed our boarding passes a few hours ago. Looks like this is actually going to happen. I won't lie though, I started medicating myself with Xanax a few hours ago and will continue this until we land in Chicago tomorrow around 4:00pm.

I have so many emotions going on right now and I am trying to stay focused on the task at hand. I think my biggest fear is having all of my test come back normal. At this point I think that is the biggest slap in the face that I could possibly have. Al keeps reassuring me that regardless what happens, we are seeing the best doctor and if there is anything to find, she will find it. My appointment with her is broke down into 4 different appointments on Tuesday, September 3rd;

8:45 am  - U/s
10:00 am - Labs
10:30 am - Gyn
11:00 am- Consult with Dr. KK

I am sure that none of my test will be back for a few weeks after our appointment. Instead of waiting any longer, Al and I decided to move forward with IUI #6 at the end of September.

I will take lots of pictures during our trip and hopefully have some news to share when we get back.

3 Days!

I had a melodramatic post this morning on here and decided to delete it. I can't spend anymore time being stressed out about this stupid flight. Time to put on big girl panties and move on. Next on agenda, packing for our trip. Here is the forecasted weather while we are there:

Saturday- 89 degrees
Sunday-  88 degrees
Monday- 75 degrees
Tuesday- 71 degrees

Okay I have one little carry on suit case to pack and I am trying very hard not to over pack and just take what I need. So far I have:

Two pairs of jeans
2 long sleeve shirts
1 dress
1 pair of tennis shoes
1 pair of flats
1 pair of walking sandals
4 pairs of undies
2 pairs of really cute socks for my lady part scan :)
2 short sleeve shirts
2 pairs of capris

I am going to get any toliety items I need in Chicago (what hotel doesn't offer). Hopefully only thing I will be adding is

Basal thermometer for ovualtion (should happen on Saturday)
toothbrush
hair brush
deodorant
make up
a very special bracelet a friend gave me for my visit
phone charger
camera
Paperwork for my visit


Any of you that travel, am I forgetting anything or even packing to much? Should I bring a light jacket for the evenings?

Any advice is definitely wanted and accepted

Another beautiful quilt memory....

If you have ever wanted to know why I make quilts for woman pregnant after infertility; this is why...

Welcome home H & E!



4 more days until we leave for Chicago. Yesterday I had a little mishap and fell down the stairs from my daughters room. The laundry basket took out our t.v, but also helped some my fall at bottom, along with the front door lol.... I feel so lucky that I didn't break anything and am only sore today with a few bruises and some carpet burn. Whew!!!

The Little Things Part Two

Remember my post a last week about the little things in life being so big? Well I wanted to share with you some things on a Saturday morning that make me smile!

My beautiful roses:

 The stray kittens that I feed: ( This is only two out of the four)

 My kittys, Max & Lillie:

 Izzy & Porter:

 My husband cooking breakfast:

 My sweet Boomer:

 My daughter is under the blankets somewhere:

All smile worthy things on a Saturday morning!

Update to Flight

Just thought I would give an update to our flight situation. Al and I sat down last night and decided we didn't want to fly with Spirit. Since I already have such high anxiety about flying, we didn't think that added stress would help. Now we are officially booked on Southwest Airlines for our flight. We do have a layover that is about an hour, but I can definitely deal with that. We ended up getting part of our money back from Spirit, but more than anything, I have some peace of mind!

It hit!

So today I feel like I have been hit in the face with a brick. The anxiety and panic decided to hit me full force today about flying. How is it even possible that a person can be so effected by flying in an airplane? Let me catch you up on the events of flying to Chicago.

My husband make our flight reservations about a month ago. We decided to drive four hours to fly out of Dallas and save a few hundred dollars. Great idea right! Well not exactly. As I am a planner on everything, today I decided to make sure I have the correct reservation numbers etc. for flight, rental car, hotel and so on. I went on Spirit Airlines webpage and pulled up our reservation and then it all started... 

#1 You pay extra for any bags, carry on or check in. You are allowed one small personal bag such as a purse, briefcase and/or backpack. 
Well Al and I decided last month to make our trip easier we would try to fit our clothes in one carry on suitcase each. I knew that would be a struggle. What I wasn't prepared for was the cost of each carry on bag. 

 THIS IS FROM SPIRIT WEBSITE:

Like I said above, I am a planner. So today I ended up paying an additional $100 for two small carry on suitcases.

Now if you think it ends here you would be mistaken. I then looked further into our reservation and we were not assigned seats. Those are an additional cost also. So another $72 later Al and I were proud renters of airplane seats. Oh come to find out their seats are also smaller than the average airplane seat.

I know I did tell you when Al booked with this airline I did a quick review on them (after he purchased tickets) and the reviews were bad. Well today I did a in depth review of this airline and to say it was bad would probably be a huge compliment to them.

Cue freaking out! I guess they are also well known for cancelled and delayed flights. You have to even pay $3 for water. Nothing on this airline is free! The great price we got was for no luggage, no seats and I guess just putting us in the bottom of the plane with the luggage that people did pay 1/2 of their mortgage to fly with.

I called Al freaking out and then freaking out some more. We can't get a refund so we have two options as of right now.

#1 Book another flight with SW Airlines for additional $700
#2 Stay with Spirit, take a lot and I mean A LOT of Xanax bend down and kiss my ass goodbye   hoping it works

Okay that may be a little dramatic, but my blood pressure is sky high right now and I am SO dreading this flight.

What the hell was I thinking?

Funny Infertility Friday!

7 days until we leave for Chicago! Looking forward to having some time away with husband.

I believe this quote sums up my life. Maybe not when I was younger, but definitely within the past few years. It is truly amazing how we grow into a new person the older we get. For me it has been a positive and well needed change. I can tell you that  5 years ago I couldn't walk outside and look at my beautiful rose bushes and just appreciate the beauty. I don't think I could have looked up at the sky and stopped for a minute to think how amazingly blue it was. I find myself noticing all the smaller things in life and realizing that they have really helped me transform myself. I don't think anyone could really understand where I am coming from unless you knew me throughout my life. For so much of my younger years I blamed all the bad decisions I made on others. I always saw the negative first in everything. I can honestly say I wasn't the best person or even close to it. I will go further to say that I truly believe in my heart that Karma did catch up with me and has given me a sentence that I have to serve and set things straight. I know that many of you don't believe that and I totally respect and honor that. For me, I do believe and I think it has changed me in so many ways for the better. I am happy. Regardless what battles are thrown in front of me, some hard some hurtful, I will deal with it one day at a time. I will always stop and look at all the little things in my daily life and know what a lucky woman I am.

I also realized something the other day. I have spent the past 3 1/2 years stressing out about getting pregnant. I know in my heart that it is going to happen for us. Up until a few weeks ago, I knew that I would be okay either way, but now I know it is going to happen. This has given me such peace. I know that many of you will probably think I have lost my damn mind. But you know what? There is absolutely NO reason why I can't get pregnant, so why wouldn't I?

It has been a rough road the past few years, but I have prevailed. I made it through all my miscarriages, shots, ivf's, iui's, tears, pain, anger, loneliness, sickness, etc. I made it and only because I made the choice that I had to. I still think about my little Circle. It has been almost six months and now the sadness of losing this baby, now makes me smile when I think of this beautiful little miracle that Al and I created together. I think of the day where I actually heard the heartbeat. I loved hearing that. I remember smiling so big that day. I wish to take away all the great things about those few weeks I was pregnant with a beautiful life, until it happens again and we have a baby in our arms.

Okay enough of the mushy today. I just wanted to write down a few things. I want to look back and see how much my life has transformed.

And........................................................

We leave in 8 days for Chicago. Appointment is 10 days away!! Hoping to start my next iui second week of October! Things are definitely moving in the right direction.

A Story of Hope

This morning while I was going through my emails, I came across an email from a lady named Heather. Instead of summing up what she told me, I would like to copy her email and the link to her video. While I sat there and watched this video I had so many emotions running through me. The point that Heather really delivered was, no matter what you have in your life, you always have to keep hope and keep fighting! This goes out to anyone, not just couples suffering from infertility, but people suffering with cancer, loss of a loved one, depression, etc.... Hope has really helped me through difficult times in my life and it is what keeps pushing me every single day....

Before I post the link to the video, please read this email and if this touches you as much as it did me, please share with friends and family etc.

Hi there!

The reason I have reached out to you is because of your blog! My name is Heather and I am a wife, mother, and a mesothelioma survivor. When my daughter was 3 ½ months old, I was diagnosed with this rare and deadly cancer, and given 15 months to live.  My prognosis was grim but I knew that I needed to beat the odds for my newborn daughter, Lily.  It’s been 7 years now and I feel that it is my duty to pay it forward and inspire others.

I clung on to hope throughout my whole journey with mesothelioma. When you have hope, it makes the battle easier.  I want people to be inspired by me, I want to make them fight; give them something to hold on to when all else fails. That is why I do it.  If I inspire one person, I've done my job.

I'm using my personal story to help raise awareness of this little known cancer, and to provide a sense of hope for others facing life’s difficult challenges.

Here is a video of my story that I am hoping to use as a tool to raise awareness. I would love it if you would be willing to share it on your blog with your readers!

Here is the link: www.mesothelioma.com/heather

Let me know what you think!

Heather

Baby quilting update

Not sure if I have told you that I am slowly getting back into the groove of doing my pregnancy after infertility baby quilts again. Here is a little preview of what I have been up to within the last week.

Tonight I finally finished these special quilts for a friend and fellow blogger. For her little boy "H" and her little girl "E"

 I also started a set of cute little girl owl quilts. When I saw the fabric at Hobby Lobby I knew I needed to make a quilt out of it, but didn't know at the time who it would be for. After starting the toppers, I knew immediately who I wanted to have this set of quilts. She is a friend and fellow blogger who knows the infertility struggle all to well and is now pregnant with twins. 

 As of today I only have the one of left completely done. The one on right is only the topper and still under caring construction..

Finally this is a quilt I started messing around with two weeks ago. I didn't have any pattern in mind. I dug through my fabric box and just started cutting and sewing. This is what I came up with and I have to say I really love this quilt. Unlike all my other quilts, this one is going to my 1st cousin. She struggled for five years to get pregnant again and is now expecting a little girl in another month.

Thank you special ladies for letting me share these quilts with you. I love looking at your beautiful babies on quilts that were made from lots of love. I hope to continue this for years to come.


TTC Front:   13 DAYS until Dr. KK!! Someone also donated some more medications to me. It is so awesome to have such kindness in the world!