A Horse A Blanket A Sob Story

This will be a long drawn out post today but worth it so I can share a story of a special horse named Cody.

Last Thursday a friend of mine on facebook took a picture of a starving horse in Stillwater. Of course this started a frenzy and so many of us were upset and wanted something done about this horse. Here is Cody:

As you can see this poor guy is in BAD condition. Well a group of us started making phone calls to the Sheriffs Department, animal control, rescue groups, vets etc.  The Payne County Sheriffs Department told all of us that this was " an old horse with no medical conditions and they were waiting for him to die" I was absolutely flabbergasted that this was coming out of a place who is suppose to serve and protect. I contacted the local news stations, newspaper etc. through facebook and also their direct sites. I was told by the sheriffs department to take pics of this horse off social media and leave this alone, not to call them any further that the horse was just old. By this time hundreds of people are calling and trying to help Cody. I have a friend that lives in Stillwater and went by to feed and water him. According to the news stations that WOULD NOT do a story is was because of this: They talked to sheriffs department and was told the horse was old and was checked out by vets and was deemed healthy so the news stations wouldnt do a story. Finally yesterday after much fighting the D.A. decided to press charges against this woman . Cody weighed 700lbs while he should have been 1200 lbs and the owner used to be a vet before she had her license yanked. This had also previously been brought before D.A. and sheriffs department. She was under probation of sort and was suppose to be getting Cody back to health and the sherrifs department was suppose to be watching. Neither did their job and the ball was dropped.  As of 5 p,m yesterday, Cody was picked up by a horse rescue and taken to the hospital. He is very malnorished, dehydrated, and a very sick horse but they are doing their best to nurse him back. It was average everyday joes that saved this horse and not the people voted into positions to help. I am sick to my stomach with the Sheriffs Department and news stations but grateful that a bunch of us helped save his life.
Here is the facebook link to the rescue that saved him. Please donate money to organizations like this.
http://www.facebook.com/#!/pages/Horse-Feathers-Equine-Rescue/101297646610442


I finally finished my first ever crocheted blanket! It doesnt look perfect but I am pretty darn proud of it.

And now onto a short sob story:

I freaking hate Lupron side effects. I feel so crappy and keep telling myself it will only be like this for a few more weeks, ugh.

Weekend Float Trip

The river resort was awesome. The water was about 50 degrees and amazing. Spending time with my family was wonderful. Coming down with a nasty stomach bug on Saturday, well that sucked. I was stuck in the cabin most of the day Saturday pooping my brains out and feeling like I was going to puke. Finally my sister said I might feel better sitting down in the water so I gave it a shot. With the water being so cold, it really did help. Then when I would try to eat something I felt like shit (literally) again. Everyone had a great time though and that is what counts. I am not looking forward to starting my lupron shots tonight because of how bad I already feel. Guess I have to suck it up and do them anyway, ugh....

Here are a few pics from trip:

                               Al and Cierra floating down after they opened the gates and river filled up.

                               Not sure why I have that face. Maybe because water is freezing!

                               Our niece Briley is exhausted!

                                Our niece Bailey trying to skip rocks

                              My sister fighting the current to get to the shore without drowning LOL.      
                              She succeeded.

 

Rented us a golf cart to get around :)

Funny Infertility Thursday....

This is usually my Friday post but I will be out of town floating the river tomorrow through Sunday. So you get it a day early this week :)

Hope everyone has a wonderful weekend !

One verses Two

I am referring to ivf #1 verses ivf #2. I have to say that I am more postive and less stressed about this cycle. During my first ivf I had no idea what to expect. I read blog and people told me their stories etc. but I really didnt know.  I know this time that Lupron is the drug from hell for me at least and it takes everything I have not to lose my shit while on it. I know that having an E2 level of level of almost 400 on stims day two, might not be the best thing. I definitely know now that having a shit load of follicles might not be the best thing either. I was so freaking excited when I found out how many I had and just knew for sure that I would have frozen embies.... Haha wrong. Also the assumption of having frozen embryos which is the exception to the rule. I won't make that mistake again. I also learned that transfer is different for everyone and mine sucked balls. The  2ww wait, this is where I learned the most. When testing during my 2ww, most people kept telling me to hold strong and the tests might be wrong because it was early. *cough, cough* bullshit, sorry guys but that is a way for a supportive community to support you. I knew as each day went on and my tests were stark white that the cycle failed. My clinic told me to wait until beta because blood pics up lower amounts. Well I had a FRER pick up hcg levels at 10 so that was bullshit also.

I have learned so much going through a failed cycle. I definitely know that this time I am going in more prepared with knowledge and experience.  So with that, it really puts me at ease and I am completely mentally and physcially prepared for this. I am also prepared for a failed cycle, but hoping that it is a success. I know this sounds kind of messed up, but I am happy that my 1st failed cycle prepared me for my 2nd.

Btw: Good luck to all of the ladies in tww, retreival and transfers within these next few weeks :)

Score!

So as you know today was my post-op check up and my mock transfer to see if my surgery was successful.

It was a success!

This is the 1st time ever, out of all of my procedures that the doctor was able to insert a catheter in under 15 minutes. As you know my last ivf transfer took an hour in a half and about 5 different catheter's. So here is the breakdown. I had a fibroid that was located 3 cm inside, right next to my cervix. This one the first place he would always get stuck when doing a iui or ivf. The 2nd place was 5 cm inside. This area has two different problems, one fixable the other not. The fixable area was ridges on my uterus he shaved off during surgery. The not fixable problem I still have is a sharp right turn followed by a sharp left turn going into my uterus. Today after only two different catheters, he was able to get past the 3cm with little pain and then he pulls it back out and bends the line to help go through the other passage with little pain. My doctor was a very happy man today and we all celebrated this huge victory! Now with all that being said, he did tell me that my transfer will still be hard but definitely more managable. He doesn't think we will need to go through my abdomen as of now. He did say that we will still prepare and order the extra supplies just in case it comes down to it during transfer.

As of today this cycle is already different.  I also might be in better spirits knowing this is our last ivf, win or lose. I have also noticed that I've been spotting almost the whole time while being on bcp this go around. That never happened last cycle, but he assured me that is normal :)

Start my Lupron this Sunday.

Next big appointment is August 8th for bloodwork and u/s for suppression check and getting ready for stims on August 11th.

ICLW Greeting

Welcome to my blog ladies. If you look to the right hand of my blog it pretty well gives you a run down of our last 2 1/2 of ttc. As of today I am on bcp waiting for our second ivf. Monday I will have a mock transfer to see if my surgery was a success. My last ivf was partly a failure due to the fact that it took the doctor over an hour in half to get the catheter placed. I am feeling good this go around and I am prepared for anything at this point. My diagnosis is secondary unexplained infertility. My daughter just turned 15 years old today.

Happy Birthday my amazing daughter!

Funny IFF

Thank goodness I am a infertile with great sense of humor. My coworker just came up to me and says "you know alot about pregnancy tests, right" Of course I do I have taken about 100 of them in last few years (that was said to myself). She pulls out her phone and shows me a pic of dollar store cheapie (yes I even know brands my looking) and it had two dark lines. I guess her son and his wife are expecting. Oops they just did it one time without protection. Like I said glad I am have a sense of humor.

Happy Friday!

Birthday and Ivf Preparation

So this Saturday is my daughters 15th birthday. I find myself asking where has the time gone? She is turning into a beautiful young lady and I am so proud of her.  We aren't having a birthday bash this weekend. She decided to have a few girlfriends over and they are going to have a sleep over in the camper. Next weekend we rented a cabin on the river near lake Tenkiller along with my sister, brother-in-law and two neices. We are going to have cake and a little celebration for her then. Right now she is head over heels in love with the U.K. band, New Direction. Not sure if any of you are familar with them. Unfortnanetly I have been thrown into the New Direction craze! I bought her tickets for their concert coming to Dallas next year on her 16th birthday. Al and I are going to take her and her best friend to Dallas for the weekend and get a hotel about a block from the American Airlines Center where concert is. Cierra is so excited she started a countdown and tells me daily how many days are left. She has also put together an outfit for the concert. Guess I will have to buy that for her also :) If it happens that I am a mom to only one daughter,  I will have zero regrets. As much as I want another baby, I love my daughter so much and she is the greatest thing that ever happened to me. I won't lie, we have had some rough times but I look back now and know I did a pretty damn good job.  I have a teenager that is not drinking, doing drugs, having sex, out of control and she is doing well in school. Now a days, that is a HUGE accomplishment.

Happy 15th birthday Cierra!

In other news, I went to my first acupuncture treatment of this new cycle. Talk about perfect timing. I haven't been sleeping but about two or three hours a night for the last few weeks. After my treatment I went home and slept for 8 hours! He also put the little metal bb's in my ears again for pressure points to help me sleep and referred me to some sleep herbs. I need to check with my RE first to see if I can take them while going through our ivf. This time I am less anxious. I am at  peace and I don't know why. I think it is going to work. Studies show more success each time you do ivf :) but if it doesn't, I am okay, I am really am. It is hard to explain but any of you going through treatments have been to this point at one time or another. I also finished ordering my meds yesterday for this cycle. 402.00! I was so happy and amazed. Last time it was over 1,000 and we still saved about 1,000 from the medications that were donated to us. This go around I had a two wonderful ladies donate Menopur which is $500.00 a box and progesterone suppositories. I still had 4 boxes of Follistim left over which is about $1,000 a box! I do realize how lucky and blessed we are to have such wonderful people in our lives. So all of my medications are here, ordered and paid for! Now our next big cost will be anesthesia at retreival and that is $500 up front the day of. All of the other cost at this point will be a few hundred here and there. And up to date we have spent right at $23,000 since January 2012 out of pocket on ivf. I know there are couples out there that have spent much more then this. It definitely eats a huge hole in your pockets though!

I missed it the other day but I just had my 2 1/2 year anniversary of trying to have my second child! In this instance time hasnt flew by.

Okay well I am done rambling on today!

Next big appointment: Monday, July 23rd! Mock transfer

New Blogger

Hey ladies I sure would appreicate if you could go over and visit Terry@http://needjustone.blogspot.com. She is a fairly new blogger and doesnt have very many followers. She is getting ready to have retreival for her first ivf and has alot of questions and could use some support from our community. I hope that all of you would please take a few minutes and go visit her. She is definitely in a rough place right now. Confused on her ivf and unsure of her RE. Thank you!!!!

In other news. I have a box full of fertility meds ready to go. I think the only things I have left to order is my Lupron, maybe a box of Menopur and I am done!

Hateful Bloggers Etc.

I have been thinking about this topic lately and would love to get some input back from others. A few months ago I personally had a hateful blogger put say really bad and hurtful things to me on my blog.  Infact months later I am still pissed about it for the fact that there are trolls out there that that completely over-step their bounds on another person's blog. Where is that line?  When it comes to commenting on a blog, is it your job to support another person going through infertility or similar circumstances? What if you completely disagree with what a blogger puts on their blog and it offends you? Is it  your place to voice your opinion with no regard of someones feelings? I know how I feel about this subject 100%. I started my blog to have a place to vent, cry, cuss, act crazy, have breakdowns and do all the other things I can't do in real life at my office or out in public, or voice emotions that I might not even want to do at home. I created a space for me and over the years I have met some incredible woman whom have shown me support throughout all the good and bad times. I think all of us want our blogs to be similar in that way and we all want support. Am I right? I guess I am just absolutely shocked that some adults will come on a blog and viciously attack you, judge you, and think it is okay. So anyway please give me some feedback on your opinion of Blog Trolls.

In lighter news, I went over and met Sara@http://mymclovelylife.blogspot.com/ and yes she is as amazing in RL as her on her blog. She sat down and taught me how to make the newborn baby hats so we could donate them and it felt awesome. Here is a pic of our creations:

Now that I am a little more familar with reading patterns, I am going to try to make a few more before the October deadline. Mine wasnt as snug as Sara's but I am hoping that some lady has a 12 pound baby so my hat will fit :)

Today is also bcp day 11. I have to say that I am finally feeling side effects from them. It's kinda of funny in the fact I have more textbook pregnancy symptons on bcp then when I was actually in tww of ivf. Also lucky me is back to suffering from insomnia again. Thank goodness I go to the acunpuncturist tomorrow. I will be sure to get some extra needles so I can start sleeping. Next big day is next Tuesday the 23rd! Mock transfer and post op. Things are moving along and everyday is one day closer to seeing if we will be successful.

I am going to leave you guys with some random pictures from over the weekend:

My first dishtowel and washcloth set!



I walked in to see my kitty all crunched up in his bed and had to take a picture!